Posted on 11/27/2014 4:48:48 AM PST by Kartographer
Up early just put the turkey in the over well basted with Sam Adams Winter Lager (The turkey is well basted not me!) So I thought I start a fun thread for bad turkey jokes and fun stories about your turkey cooking disasters and triumphs.
To start things off:
"Why did the turkey cross the road?"
"Because it was the chickens day off!"
I hope that tom was destined for the oven.
When my older brother and I were young, 13 and 9 respectively, we were at my uncle John's farm in Ohio. It was Summer time and we were exploring the farm. Uncle John had told us that there were turkeys about the farm someplace. So, not knowing any better, we started in the big barn. Not a turkey in sight. Save for one. It was a small one. No bigger than a young chicken hen. We decided to catch it. We were unsuccessful as that little tom was very, very fast.
Nevertheless, we chased it. Around the inside of the barn, out the barn, around the outside of the barn and into the wooded are out back. The little bastid ran down a path leading into the woods that went for about 30 yards and ended in a cul-de-sac.
We immediately lost sight of the little turkey because we standing before a huge group of turkeys all looking at me and my brother. They figured out what to do with us in an instant and came right at us.
I can tell you without fear of contradiction that the little turkey we chased was only the second fastest thing on two feet that day. My brother and I lit out of that wooded area, faces white as ghosts, screaming and headed for the main house at what I believe was close to the speed of sound. It had to be for when we reached the main house, our screams of terror finally caught up with us.
Turkeys are fast and they are nasty.
Actually, they can. Just not the ones that are raised for Thanksgiving dinner.
That was a really great story... I can picture the scene in my head perfectly.
Hmm...pumpkin is a type of squash. The only flavor in pumpkin pie is the spices used, I always thought.
I’ve forced myself to like squash as a sub for potatoes. I’m on & off a low carb diet of no bread, rice, sugar, potatoes, etc, which I call the Al Sharpton Diet (”White is not right!!!”)
But not today, on Thanksgiving. Sides include `smashed taters’, cornbread dressing, giblet gravy & whole cranberry sauce.
Much to be thankful for. Among the blessings are no nutty relatives with weird diet notions, but abundant agreement around the table as to Whom to thank for all that’s good.
My worst was lumpy gravy.
I have to have help lifting the heavy stuff and loading the oven.
I learned I could cook my mashed potatoes the same time as I cooked my turkey in the oven in a all metal pot. We now do the eat it out of the pot, except for the bread, turkey and cranberry sauce.
Mr. mm and I went to visit my son and daughter-in-law, who live in NH, for Thanksgiving.
We left as early as possible Wed morning. Hit dry roads all through NYS. Crossed the state line into VT and someone flipped a switch.
It was HORRIBLE driving. We saw 19 separate incidences of vehicles off the road *( about one every 15 minutes) most of them single cars, but some multiple accident scenes.
As we drove by in my four wheel drive with killer snow tires (Hankook iPikes - BEST SNOW TIRES EVER), mr mm looked at the tires of the vehicles off the road and every single one had all season radials.
Just before reaching my son’s, he called to tell us the power was out. So we picked up some water and LED lanterns, and drove the rest of the ten minutes to his house.
We were toasty warm as he heats by wood/coal stove and cooked our meals and heated our water on it.
We were without power the entire weekend, 3+ days. He just called to report that it finally came back on.
We, and he, certainly learned what he needed to do to live off the grid in the winter. We are looking at options for power and water from his well.
It was an interesting experience to be sure.
I remember years ago when my grandmother’s usually wonderful home-made dinner rolls were rock hard. No one said anything as they tried to cut or break them to butter them - just left them on their plate.
Finally my grandma got around to her roll, and we all watched. She gave up quickly and then realized we were all looking at her. She laughed and then in her broken English said “Well, the ingredients are there.”
Mine never made yeast any thing. We got old fashion biscuits and corn bread made in a cast iron skillet. Lard in the biscuits made them taste great. Biscuits were made with a butter milk starter, she’d use the 1 she set aside in the fridge and incorporated her unmeasured ingredients, then pinch off a biscuit size chunk and put it back in the same butter milk and back in the Fridge. She made biscuits every morning, corn bread every night.
Course there was no such issues like Cholesterol back then.
When it comes down to mashed potatoes I like the rustic style with small chunks in them.
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