DUmmie FUnnies 08-23-13 (Get DUmmie DainBramaged FIRED For Stealing Cable Box Remote At Work)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 23, 2013 | DUmmie DainBramaged, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Ok, mea culpa. I've been MIA with the DUFUs for far too long. My only excuse is that I got overwhelmed with incredible coupon deals the past 3 weeks. However, I am hoping to make up for it by presenting you all with a chance to don your Sherlock Holmes hats and do some detective work in discovering either who DUmmie DainBramaged is or where he/she/it works. Why? Because DUmmie DainBramaged has confessed to sabotaging his/her/its workplace by stealing their cable box and then lying to the management about it as you can see in this confessional THREAD, "I blocked FAUX on the TV at work today." Just by quickly glancing at this thread, I have already found out what type of work DUmmie DainBramaged does. And not only are there other clues in this thread, keep in mind that DUmmie DainBramaged has an extensive body of work in DUmmieland so more clues can be found there. And if DUmmie DainBramaged is fired, good luck trying to find another job in the Obama economy. So let us now examine the clues that DUmmie DainBramaged stupidly left us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if anybody out there has noticed Fox News no longer on the tube at work, is in the [brackets]:

I blocked FAUX on the TV at work today

[And then STUPIDLY left clues of the crime posted for all to see in DUmmieland.]

felt good.

[How will it feel after you're FIRED, DUmmie DainBramaged?]

I replaced the remote that accesses the cable box channel sub- menus with a $5 basic remote and stashed the cable box remote in the rafters.

[Workplace SABOTAGE. Definitely a firing offense.]

F*ck the Pukes.

[And now to the rest of the DUmmies as well as more crime clues helpfully provided by DUmmie DainBramaged...]

1. That was an excellent move, my dear DainBramaged!

[An excellent move to the front of the unemployment line!]

Better would be to use the parent blocker and permanently block it.

[Stand by for DUmmie DainBramaged to boastfully drop another clue...]

I did then swapped the remote

[Hmmm... So now if the bossed finds the cable box remote stashed away in the rafters, all he has to do is check the parent blocker for confirmation of the crime.]

First moron that calls the cable co. to complain Wins "Dumbass of the Month"

[Shouldn't that award be given to DUmmie DainBramaged for STUPIDLY posting on the Web about the crime and then leaving us with helpful clues to track him/her/it down?]

there is a place in heaven for you.

[Somebody is already holding a place for DUmmie DainBramaged on the unemployment line.]

i've finally gotten the nerve to complain in public places and have been given the remote a couple times. the people who give it to me act as if they can't imagine why it matters.

[They also think you are an IDIOT but not as stupid as DUmmie DainBramaged who is on the way to a state of unemployment.]

That's a mighty big responsibility you've taken on there, deciding what others may or may not watch. You must be really important.

[Do I detect a note of sarcasm here?]

I understand the schadenfreude, but we should strive to be better than that.

[Would you settle for freudenschade?]

I also noted that she didn't just change the channel, she altered passwords and hid or stole the remote. Unless she promptly remedies her actions, the OP's conduct is no longer a simple prank. I doubt either she or anyone else would find it funny if her employer, quite justifiably, decided to punish her, or even terminate her employment. There is no "I hate Fox" exemption to at will employment.

[Actually all DUFUers would find it hilarious if SHE were fired. BTW, thanks for narrowing the gender of the perp down. Yet another helpful clue.]

Changing the channel is one thing, but blocking it and hiding the remote is destruction of property. If one of my employees did that, they'd be fired immediately.

[A thousand Sherlock Holmes out there will ensure the firing of DUmmie DainBramaged. Oh, and for a lot more helpful clues as to her ID or place of work, check out her JOURNAL. We also owe DUmmie Flatulo a debt for shaking up DUmmieDainBramaged enough to drop more clues. Here is Flatulo rattling the cage...]

The OP could close their eyes. Or walk way. Or quit. If I were the owner of the company and the OP was vandalizing my property to pusOh, so the TV was your private property, being used on your private property? No. What you did was no different than me coming into your home and blocking HGTV. The level and volume of your insults in lieu of a reasoned defense of your actions speaks volumes about your own principles. But you already know that. DainBramaged, I've read and enjoyed plenty of your posts here, and I think you're an OK guy/gal with the (usually) good intentions, but I'll always, always, always stand up and defend people's right to watch what they want on their TV and on their property. Simply changing the channel would have solved your problem. What you did was wrong, and insulting people who are pointing it out just shows how desperate you are to defend your own actions. You had no right to apply such censorship in the workplace.h an agenda, I would fire him or her.

Just f*cking stop with the lectures go bother someone who gives a shit

[The cage of DUmmie DainBramaged has been rattled and she is well on her way to dropping an inadvertent clue. Hee! Hee!]

Do let us know the response.

[Do give us a clue, DUmmie DainBramaged.]

I'll find out today when I go in. NO BODY under 60 watches that shit, and they turn it WAY up when they put F*CKED on so we'll see if it is quiet.

[Hmmm... It sounds like DUmmie DainBramaged just gave us a clue that she works somewhere with a lot of employees. But wait, DUmmie DainBramaged corrects an earlier clue given to us by another DUmmie and confirms he is a guy and even provides us the age...]

nce in a 'Blue Moon' ya gotta stand up for truth and PS I'm still a guy, 62 years on the plumbing hasn't changed LOLOL

[LOLOL!!! DUmmie DainBramaged just narrowed his age down to 62. Another great clue! Give us another, DUmmie DainBramaged, and live up to your name.]

i FORGOT TO MENTION, I made the 'landing' channel MSNBC (nbc News or whatever) so when the box is turned on they get Morning Schmoe

[Thank you for that, DUmmie DainBramaged. So if your new "landing" channel is now MSNBC switched from FOX, then it is a good chance you know who the saboteur is.]

while I agree with changing the channel, I feel it's kinda childish hiding the remote and buying a new one..(wahhh I don't like the channel so ill hide the remote so no one can turn it back on!) you wont get in trouble or anything for stealing the original remote and hiding it?

[Naw! DUmmie DainBramaged won't get in trouble...unless he STUPIDLY provides us with more MAJOR CLUES which he idiotically does...]

F*ck no I told them the original one broke from being dropped by the guerrillas who work here being SYSADMIN I can pretty much tell them anything....

[WOW! So now we know that DUmmie DainBramaged is a 62 year old guy (probably a hippie throwback) who is also a SYSADMIN. Oh, and thanx for telling us that you flat out LIED to the management. That will make the case for your FIRING when you are ultimately discovered. Of course, DUmmie DainBramaged would be QUICKLY discovered if FOX News posted this DUFU edition and put out the word asking as to which workplace is now getting MSNBC instead of FOX. Then merely place a laser beam upon the forehead of a 62 year old male SYSADMIN and you have your culprit about to be FIRED. Even if FOX News does not perform this service the Sherlock Holmes army is now investigating the many other DUmmie DainBramaged posts for clues. For example, has he ever mentioned working at a mental hospital?]

[PJ-Comix]

The last time we did this Sherlock Holmes routine was to track down the ID of Temperorary SockPuppet years ago. Gee, That was a really tough case to crack.

[PJ-Comix]

PING!

[mikrofon]

Better would be to use the parent blocker and permanently block it

The irony in that suggestion is not lost…

[Mr. K]

Tell us about Temporary Sock Puppet?

I have been a freeper for over 15 years (almost daily) and I don’t remember that one.

But then again, I ALSO missed the ‘snow bunny’ fiasco and the day that CG-EG saw a “host over the sun”

[glasseye]

Top 10!

[GeronL]

If someone really wanted to wade into the BS and check his posting history, he has probably mentioned his workplace somewhere along the way.

[mikrofon]

PS I'm still a guy, 62 years on the plumbing hasn't changed LOLOL

Well, that rules out "Chelsea" Manning...

[PJ-Comix]

Please give a heads up to the Conservative Cave. I want as big an army of Sherlock Holmeses as possible to crack this case.

[Half Vast Conspiracy]

A friend of yours? ;)

[dainbramaged]

It wasn’t me.

[dainbramaged]

A friend of yours? ;)
I resemble that remark :>)

[Slings and Arrows]

I doubt I'm telling you something that you don't already know, but save pages and take screenies. When DUmmie DainBramaged realizes how stooooopid he has been he'll probably beg Skinner to throw the thread down the Memory Hole.

BTW, in the paragraph from DUmmie Flatulo it looks like a couple of sentences were broken up and spliced together. We miss anything?

[PJ-Comix]

I just checked the Conservative Cave and they are already on this. Someone there claims that DUmmie DainBramaged works at a General Motors auto dealership in New Jersey. If this is true that narrows it waaaaay down. How many GM dealerships in NJ have had their FOX News channel recently unavailable to be replaced by MSNBC and also have a crazed 62 year old SYSADMIN?

The trail has suddenly become very hot...if that tip is correct.

[PJ-Comix]

Okay, I just got absolute confirmation that DUmmie DainBramaged lives in New Jersey. If it is also true that he works at a General Motors auto dealership then that narrows it waaaay down. Most like if this is true then it is probably a TV they use for customers in the waiting room.

[PJ-Comix]

Yeeesh!!!! I found this THREAD in which DUmmie DainBramaged badmouthed General Motors in a big way. If it can be confirmed that DUmmie DainBramaged works at a GM auto dealership in New Jersey, there is no way he can keep his job.

[Cyber Liberty]

I’ll bet the DUmmie made the whole thing up.

Hey Dain, izzat you messing with the rubes?

[leapfrog0202]

Ping for later.

[dainbramaged]

Hey Dain, izzat you messing with the rubes?
I plead the fifth, like Lois Liar :>)

[PJ-Comix]

I just got confirmation on this DUmmieTHREAD that DUmmie DainBramaged works at a Chevy dealership. The trail is now RED HOT.

[Cyber Liberty]

Hmmmm. So, many, if not most of the affected people are not fellow employees, but *customers??* Oh, that's going to go down well.