Posted on 04/20/2012 10:00:16 PM PDT by John Semmens
President Obama's Press Secretary Jay Carney lashed out at the GOP for “politicizing the upcoming elections.” “They're trying to exploit so-called scandals and policy failures for political gain,” Carney complained.
The scandals referenced by Carney included the sexploits of the Secret Service in Columbia and lavish parties thrown by the General Services Administration (GSA).
“These things aren't the President's fault,” Carney insisted. “Historically, the role of the Secret Service has been to cover up the President's illicit sexual liaisons, not engage in their own. What would've happened to President Kennedy or Clinton if their bodyguards had been as self-serving as those assigned to President Obama?”
“As for the GSA, the biggest scandalous party didn't even cost a million dollars,” Carney pointed out. “It didn't amount to a hill of beans in a budget that's over a trillion dollars in the red. Besides, abusing the expense account is one of the perks of the job. And let's not forget that every dollar spent helps stimulate the economy. So is what they are doing really such a bad thing?”
“Even more absurd is the implication that there have been significant policy failures,” Carney added. “The premise that high unemployment, high gas prices, and high deficits are undesirable is mistaken. These are necessary steps on the path to the social transformation the President promised voters in 2008.”
Carney characterized the “negativity toward the President as disloyalty bordering on treason. It's one thing to run for office. I mean, we wouldn't have much of a democracy if there was only one candidate on the ballot. But tearing down what he's trying to do goes beyond the pro forma requirements of the democratic process.”
In related news, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) urged the President's critics to reconsider. “You know, the President has been so patient and respectful toward these people,” Pelosi contended. “They should remember that it is in his power to have them jailed or even killed if he deems them a threat to the government.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news posts you can find them at...
http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/110208-2012-04-20-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-april-22-2012.htm
John, I just woke up, turned on the ‘puter, and was thinkin’ about a cup of coffee when this popped on screen, and I began to read it.
I got down to “Historically, the role of the Secret Service has been to cover up the President’s illicit sexual liaisons, not engage in their own.”, and shook my head, and said “hunh!?”
I then went back up to the top, and FINALLY READ THE HEADLINE, and saw your name. It was then I knew I had to wake up, and be on the alert for a very good read.
Thanks for the chuckle, and thanks for the ping. Always a pleasure to read one of your good satires, but best really to be awake when doing so.
Scandals and policy failures are the only things Obama has on his record,so what else is there to talk about?.
Signs and wonders for the Obama faithful
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/04/signs_and_wonders_for_the_obama_faithful.html
lol
LOL outstanding.
In my opinion, this is a perfect example of the pot (Liberals) calling the kettle black. LOL
You got that right.
Had me for a second there.
LOL, your headlines are the best!
Again as is often the case in Bizarro ObamaLand, fiction is extremely close to reality. I especially liked the Nancy Pelosi “quote”.
Cheers
‘In related news, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) urged the President’s critics to reconsider. “You know, the President has been so patient and respectful toward these people,” Pelosi contended. “They should remember that it is in his power to have them jailed or even killed if he deems them a threat to the government.”’
Sounds like something Mrs. “First we have to pass the bill so you can find out what’s in it” would actually say in real life.
‘In related news, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) urged the President’s critics to reconsider. “You know, the President has been so patient and respectful toward these people,” Pelosi contended. “They should remember that it is in his power to have them jailed or even killed if he deems them a threat to the government.”’
Sounds like something Mrs. “First we have to pass the bill so you can find out what’s in it” would actually say in real life.
“Politicizing the upcoming elections.”
OMG, that’s CLASSIC!! Well Done John.
That’s probably the best LOL headline you’ve ever written. Thanks for posting.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.