I guess you don't get it. I don't care what happened in the South beyond thinking that the death and destruction was unnecessary. I care about things here in the North. I see the North-South divide more as a FreeRepublic-DemocratUnderground sort of thing.
Actually, as I became interested in American History as an adult my focus was upon the Founding Era. I couldn't really understand why so many people made such a big deal about the "Civil War." But when I began to search for what ended so many of the principles the Framers enunciated and put into our Founding documents, most of the time that search ended with Abraham Lincoln. And so I began to read more. It's not pretty, but it is our history.
ML/NJ
Then you were reading pro-Confederate propaganda, not real history.
Progressive Republicans and Democrats began to reform the United States about 100 years ago, with the income tax, direct election of Senators, Federal Reserve, and many other Federal-power-enhancing actions.
It's important to remember that from the time of President Washington to that of President Teddy Roosevelt, the Federal government consumed about 2% of the nation's GDP, more than that only to pay for wars.
President Wilson's Progressive Democrats increased it to 3% before the First World War.
Franklin Roosevelt's New Deal Democrats increased it to 10% during the Great Depression.
LBJ's Great Society Democrats began the rise to 15% (non-military) before our current President & Democrat Congress' increase to 20+% (plus 4% for military).
How much of that can be legitimately blamed on Abraham Lincoln?
Zero, zip, nada.
How much can be blamed on Republicans in general?
I say, maybe 10% of the growth in non-military spending.
How much can be blamed on Southern support for Progressive and New Deal spending programs?
Let's put it this way: did any of those programs pass with no Southern support?
I don't think so.