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DUmmie FUnnies 12-22-10 (Solstice plus Eclipse bigger deal to Moonbats than the "C" word)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 22, 2010 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/22/2010 2:37:53 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

Oh, what an exciting week this is! Because we're almost to (forgive the expression) Christmas, you say? Bah! Humbug! Don't say the "C" word! No, the big deal in DUmmieland this week is the Winter Solstice! PLUS a lunar eclipse on top of it! MUCH bigger deal than the birth of the Savior of the world!

This is further proof of my long-held thesis that the primary factor motivating the DUmmies is their burning HATRED of Christianity! So anything that is seen as an ALTERNATIVE to Christianity is widely hailed. Thus the celebration of the Winter Solstice, as a paean to paganism. Why, did you know that DUmmieland even has forums dedicated to an Ancient Wisdom and Pagan Spirituality Group and an Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group? And they think *Christianity* is goofy??

'Tis the season to be looney! We'll be sampling from many threads, too many to link to individually. The DUmmie Druid droppings are in Retro-Religion Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, who believes in keeping both the "Christ" and the "Mass" in "Christmas," is in the [brackets]:

Happy Solstice Everyone!

Solstice blessings!

[Heaven to DUmmie: Orbits cannot bless you. The One who set the planets in orbit can.]

The power of the 12/21 Lunar eclipse will be released on Xmas Day

[The power of Xmas Day is in the "X," which is the Greek "Ch," and that stands for "Chri"--whoops, almost said the unmentionable word!]

As the powerful Lunar Eclipse of 12/21 Solstice happens at 29 Gemini, it will launch its potential to be realized as the Sun moves forward and releases its energy on Christmas Day because the Sun will then be 1 degree (in trigger position) from transiting Pluto, at 4 and 5 Capricorn respectively.

[I think Pluto is about to align with Uranus.]

eek! I have an appointment on the 21st at a mental health clinic to be evaluated. . . I will take this as a good omen. . . .

[I'll evaluate you for no charge: If you think the position of Pluto means anything, you're NUTS!]

So, the eclipse's energies are to be released on probably the most stressful days of dysfunctional family gatherings... and I am scheduled to be at my MIL's who (she and her dh) are militant R's of the tea party persuasion. . . . My dh is on a short fuse as he is not feeling well, over-tired from working nights and is a Union Man. My 18 y/o son is proud to be a member of the National Socialist Party. I think I'm just going to drink a lot of alcohol, laugh insensibly at everything no matter how inappropriate, allow my MIL to insult me and call me a drunk like my father and pass out early.

[The healing power of Solstice Eclipse: Bringing families together since 1554.]

Did you know that the Winter solstice and lunar eclipse coincide for the first time in 456 yrs. . . ?

Great, I missed it last time.

[Hee! Hee! Good one!]

The monks of old China would fast for three days on plum wine taking a small drink every four hours with a large glass of water. . . . During the time of the solstice the monks would tap on refectory tables in the dining hall non-stop for 72 hours. . . . The fast and the tapping puts you in a mild trance and often you’ll see celestial visions. . . .

[I bet.]

You might consider tapping with your friends. . . . tap between three and four a.m. . . . the black fractal tubes that are sent out by people’s darkness are fairly dormant.

[OK, will do! I'm going to call all my friends and tell them to TAP at 3:00 a.m.! Tap for world peace! Let's overpower those black fractal tubes!]

Winter Solstice + Lunar Eclipse

[A Perfect Storm of Stupidity!]

I just wanted to wish all my Pagan friends here a blessed Solstice...

[And all you Christians? Well, you wouldn't be on DU anyways!]

Mother Earth, cradle us to your breast and sustain us. . . . Father Sky, watch over our safety and guide us to act honorably.

[Uncle Wind, blow on us and clear our driveways.]

So burn the log and watch the shadows on our longest night. . . .

[Cousin Log, DIE in the flames of Brother Fire!]

Solstice is the true Reason for the Season.

["For behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day a Season, which is Winter." Mmmm, kinda loses something. . . .]

I'm a Bi...both Pagan n Heathen.....

[The worst of both worlds!]

I generally don't use totems (unless you consider a fire a totem) or dance unless there's a really good drummer, but I do lie naked on the ground to gather the energies I perceive. . . .

[And to sleep off the drunk.]

Please, no spoilers about the solstice eclipse

[SPOILER ALERT: Sun setting early, turning mostly dark toward evening. The moon will go away for a while. Then it will come back. Sun will rise in the east in the morning.]

Solstice eclipse? Thanks a lot, you f***ing blabbermouth.

[Dang! You spoiled the big surprise!]

hooray night are gonna get shorter thank Gaia

[Gaia rest ye merry pagans. . .]

I believe in signs.

[Look for the sign that says "MENTAL HOSPITAL, STRAIGHT AHEAD."]

I believe this total lunar eclipse is a sign. To interpret the sign is for someone more intelligent than I.

[Which would be, well, just about anybody!]

Summer is on the way!

By a few seconds a day of extra light. Whoopie-f***ing-doo.

[The Grinch who stole Solstice.]

Gerbils also get the winter blues

[benburch checks in. . . .]

I've already had two major self-realizations since the eclipse. Amazing! They were both heavy.

[1) The moon came back again. 2) I'm still a DUmmie.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: christmas; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; eclipse; solstice
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To: Charles Henrickson
I believe this total lunar eclipse is a sign. To interpret the sign is for someone more intelligent than I.

May I? Sh*t Happens.

41 posted on 12/22/2010 6:51:53 PM PST by infidel29 (Since 0bama is NOT a uniter, can we change the acronym to just plain P.O.S.?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Depart from me you workers of iniquity for I never knew you.


42 posted on 12/22/2010 6:54:09 PM PST by politicalmerc (I TOLD YOU I could see November from my house. Now I see 2012!!)
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To: Yardstick; PJ-Comix
One of DUFU's best features is that each "Hee" gets its own exclamation point. It's definitely better that way.

That's a PJ-ism. I've always found it FUnnie, too!

43 posted on 12/22/2010 6:54:33 PM PST by Charles Henrickson (I'm dreaming of a dark Solstice. . . .)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I like how the DUmmies always describe their families as dysfunctional. What they are missing is that their families are probably mostly normal but can’t stand them due to their idiotic stark raving mad liberalism, and thus probably shun them at holidays.


44 posted on 12/22/2010 8:04:25 PM PST by Newtoidaho (Liberals are drooling buffoons backed by satanic goons.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Notice that these clowns celebrate Winter Solstice more than Summer Solstice...I wonder why that is...Oh yeah, maybe they’re trying to gloss over something more important to people not as elite as them...the old liberal switcheroo...


45 posted on 12/22/2010 8:24:17 PM PST by FDNYRHEROES (In just His first 3 days, the War on Terror became the War on Free Speech.)
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To: Roscoe Karns
You're right! This thread is crying out for a Double Rainbow!
46 posted on 12/22/2010 10:14:14 PM PST by jellybean (Bookmark http://altfreerepublic.freeforums.org/index.php for when FR is down)
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To: pillut48

LOL! Thanks!


47 posted on 12/23/2010 2:38:09 AM PST by RatsDawg
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To: Charles Henrickson

OMG, Uncle Wind, Cousin Log, Brother Fire! I’m laughing so hard.


48 posted on 12/23/2010 2:47:20 AM PST by Pinkbell
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To: Charles Henrickson
So, the eclipse's energies are to be released on probably the most stressful days of dysfunctional family gatherings... and I am scheduled to be at my MIL's who (she and her dh) are militant R's of the tea party persuasion. . . . My dh is on a short fuse as he is not feeling well, over-tired from working nights and is a Union Man. My 18 y/o son is proud to be a member of the National Socialist Party. I think I'm just going to drink a lot of alcohol, laugh insensibly at everything no matter how inappropriate, allow my MIL to insult me and call me a drunk like my father and pass out early.

LOL - classic liberal. Absolutely classic.

49 posted on 12/23/2010 2:59:16 AM PST by Allegra (I painted red and green stripes on my biceps.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I've already had two major self-realizations since the eclipse. Amazing! They were both heavy.

No wonder the bathroom was tied up for so long...

Sorry, just couldn't help it.

50 posted on 12/23/2010 3:20:30 AM PST by bcsco
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To: Charles Henrickson

Attention all Druids: There will be a bingo game following the Wednesday night Oak Worship Service.


51 posted on 12/23/2010 4:55:07 AM PST by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
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To: Charles Henrickson
BTW, I've seen several lunar eclipses but they pale in comparison to a TOTAL solar eclipse which is absolutely awesome. I've been in one and am looking forward to 2017 when a total solar eclipse crosses the central USA including Missouri. Take a look at this MAP of the solar eclipse as it crosses Missouri. You should be less than an hour driving distance from the blue line which is where you'll want to be. One thing you will notice is the rapid temperature drop. Plus the birds start acting very weird. For a couple of minutes you should have the sun blocked completely. They say you need to look at the sun through a filter but I cheated and looked when there was only a corona. Awesome. August 2017. Don't miss the total solar eclipse. BTW, check local weather conditions so you will be at the place on the blue line with the least chance of clouds.
52 posted on 12/23/2010 5:07:11 AM PST by PJ-Comix (The Coupon Whisperer)
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To: Charles Henrickson
eek! I have an appointment on the 21st at a mental health clinic to be evaluated. . . I will take this as a good omen. . . .

That post pretty much says it all about DU.

53 posted on 12/23/2010 5:16:29 AM PST by rdl6989 (January 20, 2013- The end of an error.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
You might consider tapping with your friends. . . . tap between three and four a.m. . . . the black fractal tubes that are sent out by people’s darkness are fairly dormant.

Black fractal tubes? Is this person a schizophrenic? Come to think of it, how many neo-pagans *are* schizophrenic? The tendency of schizophrenics to have very real-seeming auditory and visual hallucinations could explain the belief in magic of many neo-pagans--they are incapable of distinguishing what is real.

54 posted on 12/24/2010 7:58:10 AM PST by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: crazyhorse691
Reading it isn’t as nearly mind numbing as actually hearing a group of these things taking about it. I thought it would be fun to taunt them, but, then I remembered that it isn’t safe to provoke those with mental illness.

That brings back memories of my childhood. The "classes" at the Unitarian "church." The encounter group session, or whatever that was. Yep, exDemMom was raised in this kind of culture.

55 posted on 12/24/2010 8:04:08 AM PST by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen." --Romans 1:25

If you are willing to review the Holy Word of G-d,
you will find NO support for a December 25 date
for the birth of Yah'shua.
But rather Dec 25 is the birth of a Pagan god.

You will however find support for His birth
during the YHvH commanded Feast of Sukkot.

John 1:14 And the Word became flesh, and
dwelt(tabernacled) among us,..
dwelt GSN<4637> skhno,w skenoo
Meaning: to have one’s tent, dwell
Origin: from 4633
Usage: dwell(3), dwelt(1), spread His tabernacle(1).
Notes: (1) Or tabernacled; i.e. lived temporarily (2) Or unique, only one of His kind (a) Rev 19:13 (b) Rom 1:3; Gal 4:4; Phi 2:7f; 1Ti 3:16; Heb 2:14; 1Jo 1:1f; 1Jo 4:2; 2Jo 1:7 (c) Rev 21:3 (d) Luk 9:32; Joh 2:11; Joh 17:22, Joh 17:24; 2Pe 1:16f; 1Jo 1:1 (e) Joh 1:17; Rom 5:21; Rom 6:14 (f) Joh 8:32; Joh 14:6; Joh 18:37
shalom b'SHEM Yah'shua HaMashiach
56 posted on 12/24/2010 8:05:37 AM PST by Uri’el-2012 (Psalm 119:174 I long for Your salvation, YHvH, Your law is my delight.)
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