Army’s “Carbon Footprint” Taints War Effort

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 17 July 2010 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Representative Gabrielle Giffords (D-Az) took Afghan Commander, General David Petraeus, to task for what she characterized as “willful disregard of the environmental impact of our war effort.”

“There is no policy, no plan to minimize carbon emissions in our military activities,” Giffords charged. “Bombs are dropped and bullets are fired without considering the environmental impact.”

Giffords insisted that she was “not demanding an immediate halt to current military operations in the Middle East. I’m just saying that battle plans should include an environmental impact assessment as a regular part of the process before attacks are launched.”

She also suggested that the Army “put more emphasis on less environmentally damaging methods, like stabbing or clubbing enemy forces in order to minimize the carbon output.”

[Cyber Liberty]

I wish I could laugh at this, but I’m reminded of the time the military was pressured to change to formulation of bullets to be more environmentally friendly. Didn’t want all that lead scattering the countryside.

[marron]

Sadly, this is only semi-satirical. They have done a lot to shut down training exercises on military bases because of the environmental impact. And there has been a lot of talk about the environmental impact of the depleted-uranium shells the Abrams tanks used in the Kuwait and Iraq wars.

[rockrr]

I worry about you sometimes John...;-)

[Cyber Liberty]

You have to bear in mind John picked a particularly idiotic Congresswoman to parody. It’s not that hard to imagine Gabby Giffords saying these things.

[annieokie]

"""""like stabbing or clubbing enemy forces in order to minimize the carbon output.”""""

Great BIG ROFL, you are great, thanks for the ping

[John Semmens]

the story is basically true

I just embellished it a little bit

[Cyber Liberty]

Only a little bit. :^)

[raybbr]

Fooled me for a 2nd until the clubbing part, hee hee. I thought some idiot Congress person actually asked something about the carbon footprint of the Army.

She did....

[Tax-chick]

there is no satire that is more ridiculous than the reality of our current government.

Too true.

[KarlInOhio]

All waterboarding must be done with recycled gray water instead of fresh water.

[MaxMax]

I like the medium range carbon-extreme bunker busters.

[sbwordman]

Got me again..........I was dumbfounded by what I was reading at first, then started to rationalize that ‘well, yeah, liberals are that stupid!’

Then I looked at the source......nailed ‘em again!

[USMCPOP]

“... like stabbing or clubbing enemy forces in order to minimize the carbon output.”

Hey, if it works on baby seals, it’s a proven method. Clubbing is recommended to keep up the resale value of the pelts.

[Lancey Howard]

With the liberal scum in charge of our government, there is no longer any such thing as satire.
Good luck.

[Lancey Howard]

I thought some idiot Congress person actually asked something about the carbon footprint of the Army.

You are aware that in fact she DID?

[bakoguy]

Lets issue lead free bullets, smoke free mortar rockets, green recycled grenades, hybrid tanks and hummers. and set up recycle centers for MRE’s WTF

[Arrowhead1952]

Not as bad as SJL (D) TX.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/search?m=all;o=time;q=quick;s=%20sheila%20jackson%20lee

[calex59]

Satire.

[PSYCHO-FREEP]

“What we need is, Shaffer Gunzz and shaffer bulletz.” (Joycelin Elders)

[ErnBatavia]

Got another Semmens 'essay' in email today (forward of forward of forward of forward variety), blasting Obama on his calling vets whiners; it sniffed of Semmens, and a quick Snopes gave you attribution yet again.

For the record, the folks at Snopes refer to you as "Mr. Semmens" -- how Wall Street Journal of them.