Posted on 06/14/2010 1:48:57 PM PDT by savedbygrace
A few days ago, my wife suddenly, without forewarning that I ever detected, told me she is leaving me. The details are not important, only that I recognize it was mostly my fault.
Our grown daughter is leaving home about the same time. Within three weeks, I will be alone, with only my Golden Retriever as a companion. I'm calling on God, and he is answering, but in this physical world, it's only my Golden.
Heartbroken, deeply wounded, ashamed. That's me.
I'm hoping to receive words of advice and counsel. I'm a born again, spirit filled Christian, so I'll respond more readily to Christian-based advice and counsel, but I'm ready to accept whatever you have for me. I'm needy.
Just you and your dog? ...sounds like paradise.
Get a small dog to take her place. they don’t eat much and
don’t gripe and tell you what you can and can’t do. that dog will never let you down. start a garden and get some chickens and a pig too. you’ll forget her in no time.
Same here. Now that I'm used to it, I prefer it. My three cats greet me at the door when I come home. They love me. (They have to, they can't open the canned cat food by themselves.)
If she has gone and cannot be convinced to reconsider, I would encourage you to cut yourself some major slack while recovering from this loss. There will be plenty of time in the future (in the clear light of day) to analyze what you might have done better.
And the future is always brighter than it appears when in a dark place.
That said, when a mate walks out without ever having tried to remedy the problem that caused them to walk out (or bring it to your attention), it makes me wonder if they are telling the truth (at least the whole truth).
I say that to suggest that, in this time of pain, you shouldn't beat yourself up with guilt over what you have done if the offended party never gave you any feedback (you can't fix a problem if you don't know it exists).
Read Psalm 34
If you say it is your fault...then change those things about yourself...make everyday a living amends and good things will follow. What you will get may not be what you want it to be right now, but I promise, your life will change.
I am curious - does your wife claim to be a born-again believer as well?
We obviously don't have most of the important details, and I guess we really don't need it. God's word is clear about His view of marriage. And while He did make allowances for sinful man (who would divorce anyway, with or without His allowing it), God's purpose and plan for us all is a spirit of reconciliation.
That being said, obviously a split up marriage is an indication of some sort of failure. But at this point, it may all be beyond your ability to do anything directly to put it back together. So you must rely upon our Heavenly Father to either repair the divide, or to give the comfort and peace needed. But He also, I believe, would want you to learn from whatever mistakes or decisions may have contributed to this situation.
I will be praying for you and your whole family...
Get over it. It always takes two to tango. Women up and split all the time anymore, thee’s nothing to keep them on the farm. So thank the Lord for the good times you had, and the good times to come.
#23: Not exactly a Christian response, but it was funny!
Oooh, yeah, the garden is good advice too. If I had land, I’d have gardened too. It always helps.
You are not broken, just dented. Been through it also.
It is better on this side. Do not dwell on the what was, look forward to the what is coming. Learn from your mistakes so you can leave your baggage behind. Do not have a new relationship for at least one year. You need to become yourself, not just someone’s husband or dad. If there is to be another person in your future, God will send them otherwise learn to appreciate yourself and your freedom. I do.
It may not seem like it now, but you got the best part of the deal. Also heed the advice of those who tell you to get a good lawyer and protect your assets. Being Mr. Nice Guy will just bring you more grief. If you are the one leaving home get a legal separation first, otherwise she'll claim you abandoned her.
If this were an amicable breakup, I'd say otherwise, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Probably best to keep a close eye on the dog.
Sorry, man. That sucks. I’m unfortunately low on advice for such a situation.
Read the Book of Job — my favorite book of the Bible, by the way — and stay strong. Job took a beating, but stood fast, and was rewarded in the end. There is a reason for everything. The night is always darkest just before the dawn.
Godspeed, good man.
SnakeDoc
great advice.
HE brought you to it...HE will see you through it.
In the end, you’ll be OK.
But this is the moment, deep down in your heart of hearts that you know that O.J. Simpson did it.
The best revenge is to live well.
Prayers for you, I can sympathize...
Your son will be fine and if I were you, I wouldn't blame him for making mistakes. Sure he made some mistakes but he's not the one who left his wife, right? Make sure your son has pride in himself and that he's aware of his good attributes.
Just before my 25th birthday, my ex-fiance dumped me suddenly. Didn't see that coming. But now I realized that I'm much better off without her. And yes, I'm only 26 as well. :-)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.