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I am a Broken Man

Posted on 06/14/2010 1:48:57 PM PDT by savedbygrace

A few days ago, my wife suddenly, without forewarning that I ever detected, told me she is leaving me. The details are not important, only that I recognize it was mostly my fault.

Our grown daughter is leaving home about the same time. Within three weeks, I will be alone, with only my Golden Retriever as a companion. I'm calling on God, and he is answering, but in this physical world, it's only my Golden.

Heartbroken, deeply wounded, ashamed. That's me.

I'm hoping to receive words of advice and counsel. I'm a born again, spirit filled Christian, so I'll respond more readily to Christian-based advice and counsel, but I'm ready to accept whatever you have for me. I'm needy.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: cowboyup; depression; divorce; sad
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To: savedbygrace

Just you and your dog? ...sounds like paradise.


41 posted on 06/14/2010 2:04:51 PM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Adams

Get a small dog to take her place. they don’t eat much and
don’t gripe and tell you what you can and can’t do. that dog will never let you down. start a garden and get some chickens and a pig too. you’ll forget her in no time.


42 posted on 06/14/2010 2:04:57 PM PDT by manonCANAL
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To: humblegunner
I live alone, with only cats and a dog. I like it. Suits me very well, do ya fine.

Same here. Now that I'm used to it, I prefer it. My three cats greet me at the door when I come home. They love me. (They have to, they can't open the canned cat food by themselves.)

43 posted on 06/14/2010 2:05:01 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady (I can see November from my house.)
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To: savedbygrace
I pray that God will be with you during this rough time.

If she has gone and cannot be convinced to reconsider, I would encourage you to cut yourself some major slack while recovering from this loss. There will be plenty of time in the future (in the clear light of day) to analyze what you might have done better.

And the future is always brighter than it appears when in a dark place.

That said, when a mate walks out without ever having tried to remedy the problem that caused them to walk out (or bring it to your attention), it makes me wonder if they are telling the truth (at least the whole truth).

I say that to suggest that, in this time of pain, you shouldn't beat yourself up with guilt over what you have done if the offended party never gave you any feedback (you can't fix a problem if you don't know it exists).

44 posted on 06/14/2010 2:05:51 PM PDT by SonOfDarkSkies (I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself...)
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To: savedbygrace

Read Psalm 34


45 posted on 06/14/2010 2:05:55 PM PDT by DarthVader (That which supports Barack Hussein Obama must be sterilized and there are NO exceptions!)
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To: savedbygrace

If you say it is your fault...then change those things about yourself...make everyday a living amends and good things will follow. What you will get may not be what you want it to be right now, but I promise, your life will change.


46 posted on 06/14/2010 2:06:39 PM PDT by Hildy
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To: savedbygrace
I'm a born again, spirit filled Christian, so I'll respond more readily to Christian-based advice and counsel, but I'm ready to accept whatever you have for me.

I am curious - does your wife claim to be a born-again believer as well?

We obviously don't have most of the important details, and I guess we really don't need it. God's word is clear about His view of marriage. And while He did make allowances for sinful man (who would divorce anyway, with or without His allowing it), God's purpose and plan for us all is a spirit of reconciliation.

That being said, obviously a split up marriage is an indication of some sort of failure. But at this point, it may all be beyond your ability to do anything directly to put it back together. So you must rely upon our Heavenly Father to either repair the divide, or to give the comfort and peace needed. But He also, I believe, would want you to learn from whatever mistakes or decisions may have contributed to this situation.

I will be praying for you and your whole family...

47 posted on 06/14/2010 2:08:00 PM PDT by TheBattman (They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature...)
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To: savedbygrace

Get over it. It always takes two to tango. Women up and split all the time anymore, thee’s nothing to keep them on the farm. So thank the Lord for the good times you had, and the good times to come.


48 posted on 06/14/2010 2:08:02 PM PDT by DaxtonBrown (HARRY: Money Mob & Influence (Expose on Reid on amazon.com written by me!))
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To: Adams

#23: Not exactly a Christian response, but it was funny!


49 posted on 06/14/2010 2:08:35 PM PDT by DallasDeb (USAFA '06 Mom)
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To: manonCANAL

Oooh, yeah, the garden is good advice too. If I had land, I’d have gardened too. It always helps.


50 posted on 06/14/2010 2:08:36 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady (I can see November from my house.)
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To: savedbygrace
Having been through this twice (first time no warning; second time the marriage was difficult to bear, but there were two young children involved), I strongly suggest you go to amazon.com now and order "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends." When you get the book, start working the program. I see there's a workbook that now accompanies the book -- it's probably worth getting. http://www.amazon.com/When-Your-Relationship-Bruce-Fisher/dp/1886230692/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1276548976&sr=1-1 The Catholic Church used to, and I'm assuming they still do, sponsor a program for divorced folks called New Beginnings, or something like that. It's a retreat, highly emotional, and very much worth while. If you are not Catholic (I'm not), do not allow the Church's sponsorship to prevent you from seeking this program out. There will be no attempt to force Catholicism on you, you will find out much about yourself, and you will meet great people who have suffered a fate similar to yours and are surviving. Also, get a good lawyer, and make sure you hire a court reporter each time you appear in court. Good healing.
51 posted on 06/14/2010 2:08:42 PM PDT by skookum55 (A natural-born US citizen since 1955.)
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To: savedbygrace

You are not broken, just dented. Been through it also.
It is better on this side. Do not dwell on the what was, look forward to the what is coming. Learn from your mistakes so you can leave your baggage behind. Do not have a new relationship for at least one year. You need to become yourself, not just someone’s husband or dad. If there is to be another person in your future, God will send them otherwise learn to appreciate yourself and your freedom. I do.


52 posted on 06/14/2010 2:09:22 PM PDT by The Shadow Knows
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To: savedbygrace
Within three weeks, I will be alone, with only my Golden Retriever as a companion.

It may not seem like it now, but you got the best part of the deal. Also heed the advice of those who tell you to get a good lawyer and protect your assets. Being Mr. Nice Guy will just bring you more grief. If you are the one leaving home get a legal separation first, otherwise she'll claim you abandoned her.

If this were an amicable breakup, I'd say otherwise, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

53 posted on 06/14/2010 2:09:24 PM PDT by Moonman62 (The issue of whether cheap labor makes America great should have been settled by the Civil War.)
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To: savedbygrace

Probably best to keep a close eye on the dog.


54 posted on 06/14/2010 2:10:21 PM PDT by UncleSam
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To: savedbygrace

Sorry, man. That sucks. I’m unfortunately low on advice for such a situation.

Read the Book of Job — my favorite book of the Bible, by the way — and stay strong. Job took a beating, but stood fast, and was rewarded in the end. There is a reason for everything. The night is always darkest just before the dawn.

Godspeed, good man.

SnakeDoc


55 posted on 06/14/2010 2:11:03 PM PDT by SnakeDoctor ("Shut it down" ... 00:00:03 ... 00:00:02 ... 00:00:01 ... 00:00:00.)
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To: Responsibility2nd

great advice.


56 posted on 06/14/2010 2:12:05 PM PDT by Trust but Verify
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To: savedbygrace

HE brought you to it...HE will see you through it.


57 posted on 06/14/2010 2:12:08 PM PDT by stylin19a (Never buy a putter until you first get a chance to throw it)
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To: savedbygrace

In the end, you’ll be OK.

But this is the moment, deep down in your heart of hearts that you know that O.J. Simpson did it.

The best revenge is to live well.


58 posted on 06/14/2010 2:12:46 PM PDT by Ouderkirk (Democrats...the party of Slavery, Segregation, Sodomy, and Sedition)
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To: savedbygrace

Prayers for you, I can sympathize...


59 posted on 06/14/2010 2:12:59 PM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (~"This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Amber Lamps !"~~)
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To: DallasDeb
My youngest son is now going through a similar situation. He's only 26 and is just short of his 2nd anniversary. He, too, blames himself for the situation, and he, too, has turned to God for guidance.

Your son will be fine and if I were you, I wouldn't blame him for making mistakes. Sure he made some mistakes but he's not the one who left his wife, right? Make sure your son has pride in himself and that he's aware of his good attributes.

Just before my 25th birthday, my ex-fiance dumped me suddenly. Didn't see that coming. But now I realized that I'm much better off without her. And yes, I'm only 26 as well. :-)

60 posted on 06/14/2010 2:13:37 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
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