I am a Broken Man

[savedbygrace]

A few days ago, my wife suddenly, without forewarning that I ever detected, told me she is leaving me. The details are not important, only that I recognize it was mostly my fault.

Our grown daughter is leaving home about the same time. Within three weeks, I will be alone, with only my Golden Retriever as a companion. I'm calling on God, and he is answering, but in this physical world, it's only my Golden.

Heartbroken, deeply wounded, ashamed. That's me.

I'm hoping to receive words of advice and counsel. I'm a born again, spirit filled Christian, so I'll respond more readily to Christian-based advice and counsel, but I'm ready to accept whatever you have for me. I'm needy.

[TNdandelion]

One day at a time.

[KC Burke]

B-Chan,

There is a lot of wisdom in your first post. You picked up on the issue of fault that the poster assigned himself and while many of us were sharing from experience you played the older brother and cut to the chase.

If someone says, “Doc it hurts when I do this...” sometimes the best answer is “Well quit doing it.”

We cannot undo the wrongs we have done but we can change our actions and do reversals in conduct that are amazing. It is always a shame that it takes a brick to the head to sometimes make such a reversal. Your reply, amongst the hope and change, could be that brick.

[Retired Greyhound]

Plus the future other dog’s vote, which makes three.

But that’s from a guy that has four dogs and four cats (and a wife).

We didn’t mean to start hoarding animals. Just happened. Started with two greyhounds. Then one cat. Then a friend for the cat. Then a friend for the friend. Then my mom’s cat. Then the chiuaua we found hit by a car on Coast Hwy. Then the poodle mix zig-zagging in the middle the street on a Saturday night.

Strays gravitate towards us. I live in Long Beach, CA. I think 3 dogs and 3 cats is the max allowable. Blew right thru that. But they bring us a lot of joy.

[A_perfect_lady]

I’m in Weho. I have three cats but could easily, if I had a big house, turn into one of those crazy cat ladies who has 10 or 12. They’re my little angels.

[babyfreep]

Heartbroken, I’m sure. I’m sorry for your losses but grateful you still have life and a chance to fill your heart with new things.

This is an excellent thread, btw. Lots of good input here for anyone.

[savedbygrace]

I’ll try to work slowly through all the replies.

Thanks, Travis, for the encouragement.

[Retired Greyhound]

A FReeper in Weho? Who knew? And a crazy cat lady to boot.

Our house is 1100 sq. feet. Cat #1 is a Persian. She likes to hang with us and the dogs. Cats 2 and 3 are anti-social. We got them from Seal Beach rescue. They have an “Us vs. Them” mentality. We hardly see them. They take the night shift.

My mom’s cat (whom I have had more than a year now, so he is probably mine and I’m just in denial) usually hangs outside. So we manage.

Greyhounds take up surprisingly little room and they don’t bark. These little dogs kinda suck, but they’re pretty funny.

Don’t know why I just told you all of this. Guess I needed to debrief. Thanks for listening.

[Blackhawk]

If you look through your Bible you will find that the "great" people of God, male and female, only became great AFTER they were broken. Some were broken physically, some emotionally, some economically and several all of the above. But in each case, it was only when they gave up, when they had reached the end of their endurance that God then picked them up and used them in ways that they never would have. Take a moment and pick up your Bible and read about: Moses in the desert, Ruth, Jacob, David, and even Paul.

On a personal note, I came home from a business trip to an empty house, (and bank account). That was 20 yrs ago. If I hadn't gone through that I wouldn't have the home and family I have now. God's plan was better but I had to be broken to find it.

I will pray for you.

[savedbygrace]

Wonderful and great to know. Thanks.

[savedbygrace]

I know that’s good advice. I’ll try to walk it out. Thanks.

[savedbygrace]

When God is all you have left, you learn God is all you need.

Perfect. Thank you.

[savedbygrace]

I suspect one thing God is doing through this is to teach me the meaning of that verse. I’ve read and studied it many times, but I still don’t understand it completely.

[savedbygrace]

Very true. Thank you.

[ViLaLuz]

Brother, keep your eyes focused on The Word as you walk over the stormy sea towards Him... If you shift your focus off Him you will begin to sink into the waves. Read your Bible.

See if there is an overcomers/recovery group of some sort in your church or a near by church, then go! You need Christian fellowship and healing.

[Joan Kerrey]

The details are not important,

---

Then advice isn’t either.

[UncleBob61]

RG,
I don't know how to do this and your window is the one which opened.

The philosophy of Tom Landry, legendary Dallas Cowboys coach:
1) Something to hope for
2) Something to do
3) Someone to love
Lose one, crisis, replace it as soon as possible
Lose two, major crisis, replace both as soon as possible.

Thank you, UncleBob61

[savedbygrace]

I told my wife this afternoon, “I want to be clear. I am standing for the restoration of our marriage. It involves a covenant till the end of time.”

She replied, “I know you are.”

Her position is that her decision is irreversible.

I told her I will never be with another woman, that she is my only love forever.

[savedbygrace]

Thank you.

[savedbygrace]

I appreciate your prayers on my behalf.

[investigateworld]

Sorry to hear it amigo. BUT I see from your home page you are in the beautiful state of Oklahoma, thus I recomend you do the following:

Head down to a local liquour store, get a couple of quarts of Bushmills/Jamesons, fine Irish liquor they are.

Before you go into the house, throw your car keys on the roof, park yourself in front of your computer.

Then go to youtube and bring up Leeann Womack's song " I Hope You Dance".

Listen closely to the words the pretty gal is singing.....

Get back to me in the AM.