Would you dump a woman for using a coupon?

Dr. Helen ^ | February 22, 2010 | Helen Smith

[PJ-Comix]

I was reading dating advice for women from men at Cosmo and came across a rather amusing letter to "the guy guru who answers your most pressing sex and love questions." The letter is from a woman who is upset that a guy used a coupon to buy her dinner:

I went out for dinner with this guy, and it was great — we got along well, and there was a definite spark. But when it came time to pay, he pulled out a coupon. I'm hardly a princess, but that totally killed it for me. Am I being too hard on him?

The guy guru gives okay advice back, not great, but not bad:

It was unquestionably a boneheaded maneuver on his part, but yes, cutting him loose on that one faux pas sounds extreme. There are factors to weigh. For one, how old is the dude? If he's still in school or graduated recently, it could just be that he hasn't dated a lot and was short on funds — the economy isn't exactly booming right now. And to be fair, he didn't ask you to go dutch, so he did still take you out to dinner.

If he's older and financially stable, then you have more reason to be turned off. Any guy with a little experience should know that you don't flash coupons on a first date — you bide your time till the chick is in the bathroom, then feverishly shove it into the waiter's hand! In all seriousness, it could be a sign that he'd turn out to be a cheapskate.

Well, I thought it was nice that the guy bought her dinner. I would think a coupon was a little quirky and endearing, but that's me. If it was reversed and a woman pulled out a coupon to pay on a first date, would you dump her or just be glad she paid?

On the other hand, the equivalent for women might be something different than paying for a meal with a coupon--it might be something appearance oriented or behavioral that a guy would find just as questionable. What would that be?

[ctdonath2]

Sign of the times? Sign of the species. You think such attitudes are new? Noble actions past are remembered precisely because they were, and are, notable - unlike base crudeness, which permeates the human condition. Go read Aristophanies (ancient Greek playwright).

[LuvFreeRepublic]

No it not new, but it is acceptable and encouraged by far more today than in the past. Go read the lyrics of rap music. Go view the interaction between men and women. It is hip to trash a woman and it is hip to be trash. My crudeness was in response to the attacks made because a FReeper dared to offer a comment that others found objectionable. The attacks were personal, when in all likelihood, they do not know enough about her to pass that kind of judgment. I also wonder how so many can be certain of the motives of not only the female in the article, but the male.

[ctdonath2]

Such has been complained of youth throughout human history. Modern social crudeness as you describe was well-depicted by Aristophanies several millennia ago. The only thing new is your personal awareness of it.

[LuvFreeRepublic]

The only thing new is your personal awareness of it.

Wow, you know me well enough to make that call! Well no wonder you with certainty know what the motives of the woman and the man in the article were. Do you know everything about everybody, or is a hit and miss kind of gift?

A few more questions, could my new awareness relative to the male species have anything to do with the fact that I am a mother of two daughters? Or is it because of being a mother of two daughters it moves this topic higher on the priority list? And finally, and I mean finally, would I find these answers well-depicted by Aristophanies? Have a great day.

[Sloth]

It doesn't have anything to do with the money.

How can it not have anything to do with money when coupons ONLY have anything to do with money?

[PJ-Comix]

Okay, the laptop I am looking at retails for over $300 but with the bells and whistles plus the tax we are talking about $400.

[PJ-Comix]

I once worked for the Firestone company for like one week but in that time I was able to get some incredible corporate coupons. Stuff like a tuneup for $15 etc.. I actually laminated those coupons and used them for the following 10 years until I lost them.

[PJ-Comix]

Those Firestone coupons were special promotional coupons that were supposed to be used for PR purposes on a very limited basis. Anyway, when I split, those coupons went with me.

[Revolting cat!]

I don’t clean my car before the first date (testing... testing!) I have it cleaned before the second date and let the date do it, it’s a woman’s job anyway.

[SengirV]

As long as electronics fall under the purview of “power tools”, then I agree with you 100%.