Posted on 02/23/2010 7:10:06 AM PST by PJ-Comix
I was reading dating advice for women from men at Cosmo and came across a rather amusing letter to "the guy guru who answers your most pressing sex and love questions." The letter is from a woman who is upset that a guy used a coupon to buy her dinner:
I went out for dinner with this guy, and it was great we got along well, and there was a definite spark. But when it came time to pay, he pulled out a coupon. I'm hardly a princess, but that totally killed it for me. Am I being too hard on him?
It was unquestionably a boneheaded maneuver on his part, but yes, cutting him loose on that one faux pas sounds extreme. There are factors to weigh. For one, how old is the dude? If he's still in school or graduated recently, it could just be that he hasn't dated a lot and was short on funds the economy isn't exactly booming right now. And to be fair, he didn't ask you to go dutch, so he did still take you out to dinner.
If he's older and financially stable, then you have more reason to be turned off. Any guy with a little experience should know that you don't flash coupons on a first date you bide your time till the chick is in the bathroom, then feverishly shove it into the waiter's hand! In all seriousness, it could be a sign that he'd turn out to be a cheapskate.
Well put. The coupon is not a problem. Only someones attidute to the use of them.
Why does someone need to tell someone else how they are going to pay for something.
Only if they are detachable.
My next move is to rent cars for FREE. Ever notice that box in the car rental paper where you enter the coupon code? I am investigating that. Would love to drive a few different cars every month but I need to investigate on this more.
That would be a nice, casual way to arrange a first date. Imho, it is only polite.
Needless to say, there was no sale that day. They went to another city where they were not ignored and bought a beautiful new car, for cash!
OK, from a FR post earlier this month:
The Husband Store
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign reads::
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.
Oh, mercy me! she exclaims, I can hardly stand it!
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6- You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the stores owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st floor has wives who love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money.
The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
Goodness, isn’t it the truth!!!
Being picked up by a guy that just cleaned his car just for me, PRICELESS, and it has nothing to do with money. Apparently your wife was smart enough to figure it out. It is the message you send and there is a time and a place for coupons. Clean cars should be a given though.
I wonder if premium detailing shops accept coupons?!
Many auto shops accept coupons.
Yes tact should have been used and a comment such as the one you quote speaks to the true intent of the author (IMO). It is not about the money, it is about the message. There was a time when men courted women, and after reading this thread, it is no longer perceived in the positive light as it once was by a lot of men and women on this thread. Said another way, chivalry is dead, spread um honey.
Last week I ordered a customized laptop from Toshiba Direct. A nice deal on an Intel i5 machine. I spent several days searching for coupons online and was able to find nothing more than a 15% off coupon code for accessories, which saved me maybe $15. That’s not exactly getting a laptop for free, as you are doing or as the spam messages I get daily promise.
men aren’t that difficult to understand. you feed them, love them, let them watch that one quirky t.v. show that you hate, keep nagging to a minimum, buy him a power tool once in a while, keep your fingernails long enough to scratch his back, and make sure he knows how much you appreciate it when he cooks dead animals on the grill. recipe for happy hubby.
Well, that’s true, but even I would have to agree that its poor form for someone who flaunts their wealth in such a manner to go cheap on a first date. If you’re going to play the part, you have to be willing follow through.
It’s entirely conceivable, on the other hand, that the dude in the story was testing the chick. And she failed! Miserably.
Just goes to show ya one can’t pay for high maintenance with coupons.
Though some you must insist they follow thru on.
Bought a car and got a “premium detailing coupon” with it. When I used it, I had to argue with them over the notion that a quick vacuum and rinse hardly constituted “premium detailing”.
I don’t get it. Doing everything he can to maximize the quality of her evening somehow isn’t chivalrous? her part of chivalry (as recipient thereof) is to review & consent how it’s all paid for? I was raised to think he ensures a good evening is had, and he ensures she doesn’t have to fuss about how it’s achieved. (And your “spread um” comment is really outta line.)
This.
It is the message you send and how it is received by the other party. Yes, a lot of messages are not meant to be received in the manner they are. Perception. Both men and women are guilty of this. As far a chivalry, in my opinion, it is not what it once was and yes, there are guys interesting in only the spread um aspect of dating. I have seen comments on FR written by men who complain that they took a women out for dinner and did not get sex after, and then they complained about the waste of money. My comment is not out of line, it is a sign of the times.
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