I don’t get it. Doing everything he can to maximize the quality of her evening somehow isn’t chivalrous? her part of chivalry (as recipient thereof) is to review & consent how it’s all paid for? I was raised to think he ensures a good evening is had, and he ensures she doesn’t have to fuss about how it’s achieved. (And your “spread um” comment is really outta line.)
It is the message you send and how it is received by the other party. Yes, a lot of messages are not meant to be received in the manner they are. Perception. Both men and women are guilty of this. As far a chivalry, in my opinion, it is not what it once was and yes, there are guys interesting in only the spread um aspect of dating. I have seen comments on FR written by men who complain that they took a women out for dinner and did not get sex after, and then they complained about the waste of money. My comment is not out of line, it is a sign of the times.