Kung Pao Slim
Posted on 10/06/2009 8:30:11 AM PDT by Sasparilla
Just the other night, my wife and I, both Baby Boomers, were talking about what to do after the "final" illness. We both want cremation.
So we shopped around for cremation prices. We found prices from $500.00 to $1,000.00. Not being one to buy the most expensive. I'll pick something in the middle range.
Then, with that done, what to do with my ashes? I would like them spread at some of my favorite places. That naturally leads to the question, "How to carry them there?"
Looking up "Cremation Urns," I was stunned by sticker shock. Many people spend far more for an Urn than they spend on the cremation itself.
There are thousands of urns to chose from. I found "Cultured" cremation urns from $39.95 to $1,089.00. These won't do. In my high school senior English class, the teacher called the whole class "cultural cripples," because of our lack of culture and appreciation of classic writings and the fine arts.
I found "Companion" urns from $65.00 to $1,499.00. Does this mean that there is room for two in it? Or, are your survivors supposed to carry it with them everywhere they go?
And, there are "Sport" urns from $187.95 to $6,199.00. Each had a figure of football, or hockey, or baseball on it. You an even get one with your favorite sports team logo on it. What do you do if you like more than one sport, buy multiple urns and put some of yourself in each? But, $6,199.00 for a jar? I guess I'm still a cultural cripple. That's a lot of money for a one time use.
Finally, a flash of inspiration. I wanted my ashes to be carried to their final destinations in a .50 cal ammo can...
(Excerpt) Read more at secondamendmentfreedom.blogspot.com ...
I don’t suppose it would be legal to get $1000 worth of explosives in stead of cremation and go out with a BANG!
I respect anyone’s opinion on what they want for a final resting place.
But since I firmly believe that at the resurrection we will will be “issued” what we need, I really don’t care what you do with me. Since Monday is recycling day in my town, I figure you can just stuff me into one of the “town” bags that we have to pay $2 for, and toss me into the heap.
For once I will let my taxes, and the local government, take care of me.
go with a gallon mason jar. insert ashes, add moonshine, eternity is all good baby.
Two words: Viking funeral
No need for an ammo can, the crematory will deliver the cremains in a plastic bag contained in a card board box. Non discript, and no one will think someone is carrying munitions when they go to scatter you about.
Mine are going in a 30MM dummy shell. I told the wife to put it on a shelf over the fireplace and paint an Egyptian-style eye on it so I could keep track of her afterwards.
She said that if she brought a new boyfriend home, she’d turn the case around so I couldn’t see. Now THAT’s a caring wife! :-)
Just to be safe, you better paint an eye on both sides ;-)
I’ve got a good friend who wants his ashes mixed with douche powder so he can get cycled through one more time.
my hubby was returned in a plastic bag inside a rather nice plastic container, still sitting in the back of my closet, haven’t figured out what to do with it
Anything except a snuff box.
If I can’t be a zombie (which would be kinda cool, actually) I want to donate my body to medical science. Evil medical science.
In many states you aren’t you required to purchase one of the high dollar urns? It’s payback for your daring to try and get around buying one of those high dollar caskets.
All courtesy of funeral home lobbyists.
It's hard for me to believe that when I'm done with this corpse there are going to be any spare parts worth having, but I figure they can take what they need or want and then toast the rest.
It's sorta like to have the residue interred with my Dominican homies, but other than that, I don't care much.
In my clergydude days I once flew from Massachusetts out over the gulf stream where we scattered the ashes of a cute little girl from the airplane. So sad.
Well, they sure wouldn’t be able to arrest you...they may think you were a practising terrorist though.
Put the ashes in the ammo can and pack the can full of tannerite... POW !
Kung Pao Slim
Become pencils after you pass away...
http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2009/09/become_pencils_after_you_pass_away.html
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