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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: Monkey Face
Ahh, I see you must a common virus requiring to intake LOTS of orange juice! Always a good recommendation.
981
posted on
02/09/2008 1:35:34 PM PST
by
callisto
(CONGRESS.SYS corrupted...Re-boot Washington DC (Y/N)?)
To: Monkey Face
Vodka kills germs! Maybe I should try it on the boys’ heads :-).
982
posted on
02/09/2008 1:39:48 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
To: snippy_about_it
Great advertising slogan!
“Reanimate your life!”
983
posted on
02/09/2008 1:56:37 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Tax-chick; rottndog; callisto
Yepper!
It also kills worms. And catz don’t like it, but dogz do.
OJ is optional.
984
posted on
02/09/2008 1:56:58 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
To: darkangel82
Complete with the breakage and hangnails.
985
posted on
02/09/2008 1:57:32 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: ThomasThomas
Yowch.
Reminds me of this exchange...
Complaint:
“I don’t understand why the phone system won’t work for meeee!”
Response:
“Perhaps if you didn’t sit on the phone after answering it.”
986
posted on
02/09/2008 2:00:11 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Monkey Face
I didn’t know vodka would repel catz. Maybe we should try it on the orchids!
987
posted on
02/09/2008 3:02:22 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
To: Tax-chick
Vodka kills germs! Maybe I should try it on the boys’ heads :-). Vodka is a fine remedy for stinky feet and makes a decent mouthwash.
988
posted on
02/09/2008 3:25:00 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear; Tax-chick
It's so effective as a mouthwash it makes other people's breath more pleasant.
989
posted on
02/09/2008 3:44:51 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(When will John McCain realize those MSM slaps on the back were just posting "Kick Me!" signs?)
To: Tax-chick
Catz won’t touch alcohol, tobacco or chocolate. I don’t know what nicotine would do to orchids, but it might help to break a cigarette and sprinkle some tobacco in the pots...catz would stay away
990
posted on
02/09/2008 4:35:03 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
What a waste of good vodka...
;oþ
991
posted on
02/09/2008 4:36:20 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
To: Monkey Face
Our Agnes loved cigarettes. Fortunately, we rarely had smokers around, or she’d have killed herself chewing the butts.
992
posted on
02/09/2008 4:40:52 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
To: Tax-chick
It might have been the charcoal/ash residue. Catz will eat charcoal if it’s handy.
993
posted on
02/09/2008 4:42:56 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
To: Monkey Face
994
posted on
02/09/2008 4:47:39 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Political zombies need brains, but they hunger only for taxes." ~ NicknamedBob)
To: Tax-chick
Vets use charcoal liquid to neutralize lots of maladies that catz and dogs get by ingesting something they shouldn’t have.
It helps to settle their stomachs, and cleans their systems as it is processed.
995
posted on
02/09/2008 4:51:11 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(If earwigs get the name from crawling into ears, where does the word "cockroach" come from?)
To: Monkey Face
tHAT’S WHY IT’S GOOD TO COOK YOUR HAMBURGERS WELL DONE...
/caps
996
posted on
02/09/2008 5:50:20 PM PST
by
rottndog
(Let us NEVER FORGET, those that have paid the HIGHEST PRICE for our FREEDOM!)
To: Monkey Face
What a waste of good vodka... You don't use Gray Goose. You use the cheap stuff. Hmmm I wonder if the french boycott is off since they are nominal allies again. They do make good vodka.
997
posted on
02/09/2008 6:10:20 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
To: NicknamedBob
And makes them more attractive!
998
posted on
02/09/2008 6:11:14 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
To: Monkey Face; Harmless Teddy Bear
"What a waste of good vodka..." Nobody said you were supposed to spit it out.
999
posted on
02/09/2008 6:37:08 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(When will John McCain realize those MSM slaps on the back were just posting "Kick Me!" signs?)
To: NicknamedBob; Monkey Face; Harmless Teddy Bear
Nobody said you were supposed to spit it out.
...And if you can remember spitting it out, it couldn't be that good anyway.
1,000
posted on
02/09/2008 6:42:48 PM PST
by
rottndog
(Let us NEVER FORGET, those that have paid the HIGHEST PRICE for our FREEDOM!)
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