Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[Tax-chick]

Good recipe, but I think it needs eggplant. Or maybe pumpkin.

[Tax-chick]

Ah, here’s Der Prinz with some vino, which will have to wait until after the Spanish choir practice. And here’s a cat!

[NicknamedBob]

Pita bread?

You’re kidding, right?

[Kolokotronis]

“Pita bread?

You’re kidding, right”

Nope; it goes with TC’s eggplant (a truly noble beast, I might add).

[NicknamedBob]

Just don’t fall for her “Kudzu salad is good for you!” line.

I tried a small portion of it and it was growing faster than I could eat it.

[Darksheare]

An eggplant beast?
What a splendidly hideous monstrosity.
*runs off to lab to create said monster*

[Monkey Face]

Perhaps, while you’re creating an eggplant beast, (ick) you might also try your hand at a curmudgeon, for Bob. He should probably try one before he decides to be one. ;o])

[rottndog]

The couch won the argument...

[Frank Sheed]

The purpose for this thread is passe.

I now have 2,000 head of genetically modified and gene-spliced Holsteins that don’t emit CO2 or methane but hydrogen gas. As soon as some Global Warning Zombie Clown gives me any grief, I am going to show him/her my herd and light the Bic when he/she isn’t looking.

Then, we’ll do the Hindenburg Experiment II.

;-o)

[Monkey Face]

:slaps sofa:
Bad sofa! You are banished! BANISHED! BANISHED!

There. You should be safe for the next meal...at least...

[Kolokotronis]

"Just don’t fall for her “Kudzu salad is good for you!” line.

I tried a small portion of it and it was growing faster than I could eat it."

She sent some down to Sapienza off Methoni down in the old country. The natives were concerned at first, but then they discovered that the kri kri could actually eat it faster than it grew so they forgave her!

[Darksheare]

A curmudgeon.
Hmm..
Tough order.
The lab assistants may try to eat it before I can get it back upstairs.
(Lab door warning: all annoying experiments shall be devoured first, questions asked post-preventive action.)

[NicknamedBob]

"I now have 2,000 head of genetically modified and gene-spliced Holsteins that don’t emit CO2 or methane but hydrogen gas."

You'd better make sure you don't niss any milking sessions, or your herd will be heading for greener pastures.

[Monkey Face]

WOW! Where were you when we were designing the castle and its environs?

[rottndog]

Oh no...that sofa’s not going anywhere. The little ones would kill me.

[Monkey Face]

How do you “niss” a milking session?

[Darksheare]

A couch is the evil kin of the barcalounger.

It waited for it’s prey to come by, it’s leather upholstry tempting it’s vitcims to their doom. Waiting with it’s siren song of comfort and relaxation to lure some weak willed to take a seat... Suddenly they are stuck! The chair won’t let them go! Slowly it starts it’s feeding process.. the victim feels their legs and arms grow weak as the chair saps their strength. Then it devours their soul once they are asleep and defenseless....
And everyone thought that barcaloungers were harmless luxuries.

[Monkey Face]

Well, it’s banished from the dining room, so your little ones are safe.

[NicknamedBob]

"A curmudgeon.
Hmm..
Tough order."

A curmudgeon is the type of lab animal that locks its cage door from the inside.

[Monkey Face]

:hand out, foot tapping:

Don’t you owe me something, Bob? *hint* = “niss”