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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: Monkey Face
I went to bed really early last night, so I’m not quite exhausted yet.
2,121
posted on
02/26/2008 4:17:21 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Harmless Teddy Bear
Nothing like a threat to make everyone look alive! LOL!
2,122
posted on
02/26/2008 4:19:12 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Tax-chick
I had a hard time waking up this morning, and spent most of the day fighting off sleep. I’ll be ready for bed very soon!
2,123
posted on
02/26/2008 4:20:12 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Monkey Face
I hope you have a good night!
2,124
posted on
02/26/2008 4:20:47 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick
I hope so. I went to bed a little later thasn usual last night, and fell asleep fairly quickly, but woke up at midnight and couldn’t get back to sleep until close to 4:00. I woke up at 6:40, and had to slap me to make me get out of bed and take care of the resident food chutes.
2,125
posted on
02/26/2008 4:23:10 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Monkey Face
Catz do make sure you get up!
2,126
posted on
02/26/2008 4:23:55 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick; Monkey Face; sionnsar; fanfan
"I went to bed really early last night, so I’m not quite exhausted yet." I'm never exhausted. I'm inexhaustible.
Oh! You meant ... Never mind.
2,127
posted on
02/26/2008 4:24:21 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
To: Monkey Face
Yes ma'am!
I'll step to it right smartly!
Which is partly why I have not been around. Did I think this new job was going to be less demanding then the last? Ha!
How you doing?
2,128
posted on
02/26/2008 4:24:26 PM PST
by
Harmless Teddy Bear
(A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
To: Tax-chick
They often pat my face (with no claws) and butt me with their hard little heads, just make sure I know they mean business!
2,129
posted on
02/26/2008 4:26:45 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: NicknamedBob
2,130
posted on
02/26/2008 4:27:52 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Monkey Face
Well, you wouldn’t want them to starve!
2,131
posted on
02/26/2008 4:28:49 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
(If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
To: Tax-chick
Starve? Critters? In MY house????
NOT!!! LOL!
2,132
posted on
02/26/2008 4:30:56 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Tax-chick
"Just sleep, Bob." I have more words in me than a human being should be allowed to have.
It's only my innate orderliness (giggle, giggle) that causes me to sometimes arrange them in neat and tidy rows.
2,133
posted on
02/26/2008 4:35:51 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Tired of the hype about Hope? ... Just wait. When Obama is elected, all "hope" will be gone.)
To: Monkey Face
Those were some good tacos...semi-soft shelled...
2 beef and 2 chicken, with rice and beans and fresh salsa. Topped of with an oatmeal cookie.
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmm.....now for a fresh cup of coffee, and back to work.
2,134
posted on
02/26/2008 4:40:50 PM PST
by
rottndog
(When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
To: rottndog
I’m doing good if I can put away one soft taco! LOL! And a beer would have been excellent with it!
2,135
posted on
02/26/2008 4:44:55 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Monkey Face
Still have work to do, so I settled for a couple of iced teas. 80 degrees and sunny, with steady winds from the east here. Nice Day.
2,136
posted on
02/26/2008 4:47:18 PM PST
by
rottndog
(When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
To: rottndog
It only got up to 67 today, with winds out of the north at 12. I had my front door open for a while, but I got too cold.
It’s supposed to be spectacular for the NASCAR races this weekend, though.
2,137
posted on
02/26/2008 4:50:47 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Monkey Face
It rained here for the race the other day. Warm enough this morning that I could wear my thin gloves for the ride in. Probably won’t have to don my chaps for the ride home.
2,138
posted on
02/26/2008 4:52:41 PM PST
by
rottndog
(When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
To: rottndog
I’ve seen enough rain, cold and clouds to last at least the next 10 years. I’m ready for sunshine!
2,139
posted on
02/26/2008 4:55:30 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(He's so lazy he put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.)
To: Monkey Face
I’d loan you some of mine, if I could.
2,140
posted on
02/26/2008 4:56:27 PM PST
by
rottndog
(When are we gonna have a Leap Century???)
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