Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[Monkey Face]

Backatcha!
With a *HUG* for good measure!

[darkangel82]

That cold? In Cali?
Must be that global warming.

[rottndog]

Could use some global warming in the office about now...

[NicknamedBob]

"Could use some global warming in the office about now..."

You want snow in your office?

[rottndog]

That sounds like fun...but I finally had to relent and turn on the heater—Man Made Globull Warming.

[Monkey Face]

Why not just get a chiminea and burn up some of the dry cow patties?

[rottndog]

Now that’s an idea...

Not very green though.

[darkangel82]

Sure, if you want to stink up the place.

[Monkey Face]

Wrong answer. You don’t use a chiminea in an enclosed area.

[rottndog]

But,but,but....we’re all enclosed together in Gaia’s magnificent embrace...

How could you sully it so?

[NicknamedBob]

"But,but,but....we’re all enclosed together in Gaia’s magnificent embrace..."

Does your particular enclosure include enough space for grass and other green plants to produce oxygen to support you and your chimeneac conflagration?

If not, then you should move the combustion to an area that does. It is left as an exercise for the student to determine the proper means of getting the heat where it is needed, while the combustion occurs elsewhere.

[rottndog]

Does your particular enclosure include enough space for grass and other green plants to produce oxygen to support you and your chimeneac conflagration?

If'n I go long enough between cleaning....yes.

[Tax-chick]

Good morning! It’s cold here, but sunny. I’m cleaning up for my new recliner.

[sionnsar]

Neat picture from whatever crazy time zone Sionnsar’s in.

Good evening! I'm 10-1/2 hours ahead of you and in about a half hour my hosts will arrive and take me for a late (my schedule) dinner.

[sionnsar]

Is it time for recess, yet?

Recess? How about dinner??

[sionnsar]

Quite warm here — it was truly Seattle summertime today.

[Monkey Face]

...How could you sully it so?

ME??? How could I sully it any worse than "cow patties...?"

:oþ

[Monkey Face]

Ooooohhh! Is it a Chippendale?

;o]

[Monkey Face]

I’ve had enough winter to last for the next two years. Two months is two months too long! LOL!

[sionnsar]

I understand.

I'm about to go from high summer into late winter. Ugh.