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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: rottndog

Backatcha!
With a *HUG* for good measure!


1,721 posted on 02/18/2008 9:05:32 AM PST by Monkey Face (Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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To: rottndog

That cold? In Cali?
Must be that global warming.


1,722 posted on 02/18/2008 9:28:40 AM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82

Could use some global warming in the office about now...


1,723 posted on 02/18/2008 1:07:05 PM PST by rottndog (This Tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
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To: rottndog
"Could use some global warming in the office about now..."

You want snow in your office?

1,724 posted on 02/18/2008 2:36:38 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: NicknamedBob

That sounds like fun...but I finally had to relent and turn on the heater—Man Made Globull Warming.


1,725 posted on 02/18/2008 2:38:28 PM PST by rottndog (This Tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
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To: rottndog

Why not just get a chiminea and burn up some of the dry cow patties?


1,726 posted on 02/18/2008 3:03:10 PM PST by Monkey Face (Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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To: Monkey Face

Now that’s an idea...

Not very green though.


1,727 posted on 02/18/2008 3:11:01 PM PST by rottndog (McCain....We don't need no stinkeen' McCain....)
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To: Monkey Face

Sure, if you want to stink up the place.


1,728 posted on 02/18/2008 3:28:19 PM PST by darkangel82 (If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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To: darkangel82

Wrong answer. You don’t use a chiminea in an enclosed area.


1,729 posted on 02/18/2008 3:30:36 PM PST by Monkey Face (Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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To: Monkey Face

But,but,but....we’re all enclosed together in Gaia’s magnificent embrace...

How could you sully it so?


1,730 posted on 02/18/2008 4:49:16 PM PST by rottndog (McCain....We don't need no stinkeen' McCain....)
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To: rottndog; Monkey Face
"But,but,but....we’re all enclosed together in Gaia’s magnificent embrace..."

Does your particular enclosure include enough space for grass and other green plants to produce oxygen to support you and your chimeneac conflagration?

If not, then you should move the combustion to an area that does. It is left as an exercise for the student to determine the proper means of getting the heat where it is needed, while the combustion occurs elsewhere.

1,731 posted on 02/18/2008 7:44:32 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: NicknamedBob; Tax-chick; Monkey Face
Does your particular enclosure include enough space for grass and other green plants to produce oxygen to support you and your chimeneac conflagration?

If'n I go long enough between cleaning....yes.
1,732 posted on 02/18/2008 7:50:48 PM PST by rottndog (McCain....We don't need no stinkeen' McCain....)
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To: rottndog

Good morning! It’s cold here, but sunny. I’m cleaning up for my new recliner.


1,733 posted on 02/19/2008 5:38:13 AM PST by Tax-chick (If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't shoot! It might be a lemur!)
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To: Tax-chick
Neat picture from whatever crazy time zone Sionnsar’s in.

Good evening! I'm 10-1/2 hours ahead of you and in about a half hour my hosts will arrive and take me for a late (my schedule) dinner.

1,734 posted on 02/19/2008 6:02:05 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Monkey Face
Is it time for recess, yet?

Recess? How about dinner??

1,735 posted on 02/19/2008 6:03:38 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: Tax-chick

Quite warm here — it was truly Seattle summertime today.


1,736 posted on 02/19/2008 6:05:30 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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To: rottndog
...How could you sully it so?

ME??? How could I sully it any worse than "cow patties...?"

:oþ

1,737 posted on 02/19/2008 6:27:19 AM PST by Monkey Face (Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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To: Tax-chick

Ooooohhh! Is it a Chippendale?

;o]


1,738 posted on 02/19/2008 6:29:17 AM PST by Monkey Face (Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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To: sionnsar

I’ve had enough winter to last for the next two years. Two months is two months too long! LOL!


1,739 posted on 02/19/2008 6:30:38 AM PST by Monkey Face (Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
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To: Monkey Face
I understand.

I'm about to go from high summer into late winter. Ugh.

1,740 posted on 02/19/2008 6:37:35 AM PST by sionnsar (trad-anglican.faithweb.com |Iran Azadi| 5yst3m 0wn3d - it's N0t Y0ur5 (SONY) | UN: Useless Nations)
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