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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: NicknamedBob

Well, yes.
One of them is named Legion.


1,541 posted on 02/15/2008 6:42:18 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Darksheare; darkangel82; Tax-chick

“Ice Queen” may seem apt, but I deny either of them even the least trappings of royalty.

If I worked at Burger King, I wouldn’t let either one of them have a crown.


1,542 posted on 02/15/2008 6:48:23 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: NicknamedBob; darkangel82; Tax-chick

Well, Fool of the Ice.


1,543 posted on 02/15/2008 6:53:12 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Darksheare

We’re talking about the junior Senator of New York, the former First Lady, and current holder of the Ruby Slippers, right?


1,544 posted on 02/15/2008 6:57:01 PM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: Monkey Face
The furnace got fixed this morning. I am watching the dust motes dance on the warm air rising from the vents.

I really should break out the duster but I am feeling lazy. And warm. It is good to be warm.

1,545 posted on 02/15/2008 8:23:07 PM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Good morning. Dust is healthy!

Baby woke us up early, singing a cheerful song about spelling. Then the catz arrived. Last day in Cookie Booth Purgatory with Elen. Looks like it will be in the 50’s by 9:00, at least.

Anoreth bought a giant hermit crab yesterday.


1,546 posted on 02/16/2008 4:25:21 AM PST by Tax-chick ("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
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To: Tax-chick; Harmless Teddy Bear

If your kids are ever living away from home, and start feeling homesick, they could just visit the local zoo.


1,547 posted on 02/16/2008 7:23:30 AM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: NicknamedBob

But they don’t have the right kind of catz at the zoo.


1,548 posted on 02/16/2008 7:41:52 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; Tax-chick
"But they don’t have the right kind of catz at the zoo."

Sure they do! Catz is catz.

The catz at the zoo will let you know when it is time for you to feed them.

Just like at T-C's house ...

1,549 posted on 02/16/2008 7:56:47 AM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: NicknamedBob; Harmless Teddy Bear

I think at least one of the children will be a zookeeper! The crab needs a bigger shell already. We’ll have to measure ...


1,550 posted on 02/16/2008 8:06:00 AM PST by Tax-chick ("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
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To: NicknamedBob; Tax-chick
The catz at the zoo will let you know when it is time for you to feed them.

Five AM the George cat is yowling, "Feed me! Feed me! I am starving! Oh, pity the poor starving cat."

Pah! And his bowl is still half full. If you get up and grab a handful of the food already in there and drop it back in the bowl he settles down to eat. You can then go back to bed for an hour or so.

1,551 posted on 02/16/2008 8:11:36 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

My cat does this also. I think she just likes it stirred.


1,552 posted on 02/16/2008 8:13:50 AM PST by NicknamedBob (Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

I sometimes have to shake the food evenly across the bowl to make Shannon and Wednesday happy. It’s all in the presentation, you know.


1,553 posted on 02/16/2008 8:18:17 AM PST by Tax-chick ("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; Tax-chick; NicknamedBob

The dogz have their own ritual...around 5-5:30 in the am one will wake up, and then instantly both are literally bouncing around the bedroom. It’s like having our own little earthquake everyday....200 pounds of dog shaking the bed until they get to eat...and they WON’T quit until we feed them.


1,554 posted on 02/16/2008 10:39:36 AM PST by rottndog ("The Ides Of February, they have come." "Aye, but they are not gone..." And now they have.)
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To: NicknamedBob

Yes, the headmistress of the lollipop league.


1,555 posted on 02/16/2008 11:13:22 AM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; NicknamedBob; Tax-chick

Kearen is always huungry.
It takes alot of energy input to keep that amount of bulk happy, and not eating my ankles..


1,556 posted on 02/16/2008 11:14:19 AM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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To: Darksheare; NicknamedBob; Tax-chick
When Hubbie was home with a bad cold he said George kept on waking him up by climbing on his chest and butting his chin.

I told him George was just checking to see if it was safe to begin eating him yet. :)

1,557 posted on 02/16/2008 11:26:11 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes into it.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Reminds me of Agnes. Wednesday and Shannon ganged up to try to get to the snake this afternoon, but they didn’t succeed. Wednesday sat on the windowsill and locked eyes with Susan, while Shannon tried to jump on top of the cage!


1,558 posted on 02/16/2008 11:37:57 AM PST by Tax-chick ("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
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To: Darksheare

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/1971511/posts?page=10

Live Zot over here.


1,559 posted on 02/16/2008 11:49:29 AM PST by Tax-chick ("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; NicknamedBob; Tax-chick

When I trip over something and knock my noggin for a loop, Kearen will run over and snuffle me while bumping me with her head.
If I don’t move quick enough in response to her inspection, she begins nipping my ankles.

(When you fall and your cat runs over to look at you, they aren’t checking to see if you are hurt. They’re checking to see if you are hurt enough for them to take down..)


1,560 posted on 02/16/2008 12:00:32 PM PST by Darksheare (Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
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