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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: Darksheare
LOL!
The ugly Orc in the third film (by the way) was the same guy who fought Boromir in the first film. But you probably already knew that...
1,521
posted on
02/15/2008 3:49:26 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
Recycled orcs, most efficient usage.
1,522
posted on
02/15/2008 3:53:53 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Darksheare
Why not? I mean, they were “indestructible,” right?
(The original zombies?)
1,523
posted on
02/15/2008 3:57:07 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
1,524
posted on
02/15/2008 4:01:20 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Darksheare
*sigh*
Well, it was a thought.
1,525
posted on
02/15/2008 4:02:19 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
Ringwraiths were the zombies..
(Scarier too)
1,526
posted on
02/15/2008 4:04:33 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Monkey Face
Welp...I’m gone for the night. I’ll see y’all tomorrow!
1,527
posted on
02/15/2008 4:04:54 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Darksheare
Ringwraiths were the worst things I ever read about. And they were really convincing in the movies.
1,528
posted on
02/15/2008 4:06:25 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(Always remember ~ you are unique ~ just like everyone else!)
To: Monkey Face
Yeah, and you couldn’t hurt them because you got hurt in return for your efforts.
1,529
posted on
02/15/2008 4:08:34 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: NicknamedBob
MSM Newcast later tonight:
This just in: According to right wing blog “Freeper” NicknamedBob,
Laura Bush says about former president Bill Clinton, “I don’t think Bill would have been able to measure up.”
Back to you, Juan...
Gretta, have we gotten a reactor from Senator Clinton on this remark?
No, Juan, and Mr Bush has not returned our text message either.
OK, thanks Gretta. Next - are asteroids the answer to global warming? A scientist in Bora-Bora says “pehaps...”, after these messages....
1,530
posted on
02/15/2008 4:14:00 PM PST
by
NonLinear
("They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -Thomas B Reed)
To: NonLinear
April, 2009:
Three ex-presidents walk into a bar.
“I’ll have a beer.”
“Yes, Sir!”
“Wait a minute! You didn’t card him! Why it seems only yesterday that he was just a baby.”
“I’ll have the usual.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. President. The dancers haven’t arrived yet.”
“Darn! I guess I’ll have a beer too.”
“I must say, gentlemen, it certainly is an honor to have three former presidents here in my establishment.”
“You think so? We’ve been kicked out of four other places already.”
“YOU’ve been kicked out of four other places already!”
“Yeah? Well, their dancers HAD arrived.”
“Drink your beer, Bill.”
.
.
(Actually, I could like these guys.)
1,531
posted on
02/15/2008 4:39:33 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
To: Monkey Face
};00Þ
1,532
posted on
02/15/2008 5:39:42 PM PST
by
rottndog
("The Ides Of February, they have come." "Aye, but they are not gone..." And now they have.)
To: NicknamedBob
LOL! You’re going to get us in trouble, Bob!
1,533
posted on
02/15/2008 5:53:13 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: Tax-chick
I heard a radio commercial featuring the “supposed” voices of 41 and 42.
42 kept falling asleep, and 41 wanted him to get a Sleep Number Bed so he could get proper rest.
1,534
posted on
02/15/2008 6:07:47 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
To: NicknamedBob
1,535
posted on
02/15/2008 6:17:28 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: NicknamedBob; Tax-chick
Hey, if the Ice Queen inhabited my room, I’d need to find someplace else to sleep.
1,536
posted on
02/15/2008 6:22:51 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Darksheare
Excellent point. She probably snores, too!
I only have husband, catz, snake, and 2-year-old in my room :-).
1,537
posted on
02/15/2008 6:24:35 PM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ trimom)
To: Tax-chick
Sceery.
I may be able to drain heat from things, but she’s near absolute zero..
1,538
posted on
02/15/2008 6:34:47 PM PST
by
Darksheare
(Do you or anyone you know suffer from Bunny on the Head?)
To: Darksheare
Oh, come on! She has more delegates than that!
1,539
posted on
02/15/2008 6:38:22 PM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(Hillary is a member of the Senate, but the house is circling overhead . . .)
To: NicknamedBob
1,540
posted on
02/15/2008 6:41:12 PM PST
by
darkangel82
(If you're not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. (Say no to RINOs))
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