Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^ | William M Briggs

[mattstat]

A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

[Monkey Face]

Well, maybe not, but as Bob likes to remind us: This is a family thread.

*snort*

[darkangel82]

I don’t feel so great either, join the club.

[Darksheare]

Well, yes.

But remember, spay and neuter your pets for their sake and everyone’s.

*groan*

[Darksheare]

She likes to claim sickness when she isn’t.
So coming from her, it is taken with a salt lick block.
(She called out, claimed to be sick, and was seen not two hours later at the loal mall.)

[Monkey Face]

LOL!
Like I said: STAPLE HER!

[darkangel82]

Maybe it was all in her head. Or she can have whatever I have if she wants to be sick.

[Darksheare]

You’re better off not getting close enough to her to get her sick.
You might have to amputate body parts to regain your freedom.

[DJ MacWoW]

Yup and my family’s on the thread. :-D

[darkangel82]

Unngh, that bad?

[Darksheare]

Archer T-50, when you absolutely need to reupholster... things.

[Monkey Face]

See? It IS a “family thread.”
Ohyah...I forgot MY own family, too! LOL!

[Monkey Face]

That would be my choice. (I think I have one in my toolbox...)

[Darksheare]

Yes.
Her checklist goes thus: Is it breathing? If not, is it still warm? Is it remotely male? Is it blind? Can it be blinded readily? Is it financially well off enough for my purposes?

[darkangel82]

Ugggh, what a leach. I guess I’ll go back to drinking orange soda and puking, then.

[Darksheare]

Works wonders, multipurpose.

[DJ MacWoW]

The only problem with that is Mom gets blamed for, um, character. ;)

[Darksheare]

Envision a slightly thinner Rosie O.D.

[Monkey Face]

Well, see...I nipped that in the bud: I told them once they hit 14, they were responsible for ALL decisions, and if they made bad ones, they had to live with the consequences.

My kids are SOO straight! Of course, some lessons had to be repeated a time or two before it sunk in. ;o])

[DJ MacWoW]

But everyone LIKES mine because they’re twisted. LOL

[Monkey Face]

See?

Of course, mine have their quirks, but they’re funny, like your kids...well, OK...close