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Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
http://wmbriggs.com/blog/2008/01/31/zombie-attacks-might-increase-due-to-global-warming-study-shows/ ^
| William M Briggs
Posted on 01/31/2008 3:36:33 PM PST by mattstat
A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”
Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”
The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: allyourzotrbelong2us; callingartbell; globalwarming; molassesmiasma; monkeyfacerules; undead; undeadthread; zombies; zotemifyougotem
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To: Snickering Hound
LOLOLOL! That is hilarious!
1,141
posted on
02/10/2008 10:45:41 PM PST
by
NRA2BFree
("The time is near at hand which must determine whether Americans are to be free men or slaves!")
To: Monkey Face
As John Candy sleeps...
So should I.
Unfortunately, I have to ride home first.
1,142
posted on
02/10/2008 10:56:43 PM PST
by
rottndog
(This tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
To: NRA2BFree; sionnsar; Darksheare; Dead Corpse; Tax-chick; FRiends; NicknamedBob; All
Hello! Do you know you've fallen into the Undead Thread?
If not........ it looks as though you're ready for whatever came your way.... Welcome! We're always happy to get fresh
meat ideas!
Having an arsenal is a good thing!
1,143
posted on
02/10/2008 11:05:58 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: Monkey Face; NRA2BFree
Having an arsenal is mandatory around here....what, with all the flying pleisiosaurs and stuff...
1,144
posted on
02/10/2008 11:31:38 PM PST
by
rottndog
(This tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
To: rottndog
1,145
posted on
02/10/2008 11:35:32 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: rottndog
I have alway admired Burt and Heather Gummer family arsenal.
1,146
posted on
02/10/2008 11:37:51 PM PST
by
ThomasThomas
(Pro football is just a nanny state version of rugby!)
To: ThomasThomas
EK-SELL-ENT!!!
Hiya, TT!
What are you doing here so late?
1,147
posted on
02/10/2008 11:39:42 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: Monkey Face
I am just getting an early start on tomorrow.
1,148
posted on
02/10/2008 11:44:33 PM PST
by
ThomasThomas
(Pro football is just a nanny state version of rugby!)
To: Monkey Face
Just now sqeezing into those chaps...
I’ll be on the road in 5 minutes.
1,149
posted on
02/10/2008 11:44:46 PM PST
by
rottndog
(This tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
To: ThomasThomas
I have alway admired Burt and Heather Gummer family arsenal.
Oh...so you're a minimalist when it comes to firearms?
1,150
posted on
02/10/2008 11:45:46 PM PST
by
rottndog
(This tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
To: ThomasThomas
Me, too, *she says, coyly*
Strange stuff, this...
1,151
posted on
02/10/2008 11:46:34 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: rottndog
OY!
Why do you work on Sundays?
1,152
posted on
02/10/2008 11:47:18 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: Monkey Face
Well, customer brings in part on Friday, says must have it on Monday, drops big $$ on my desk in exchange for promise of delivery, and Saturday is taken up with some far more important business.
That leaves Sunday. Which is now just minutes from Monday.
Got my chaps on. I wonder if the Blue Oyster Bar is open this late on Sundays....
1,153
posted on
02/10/2008 11:50:44 PM PST
by
rottndog
(This tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
To: Monkey Face
And now I really must be going.
See Ya!
1,154
posted on
02/10/2008 11:52:21 PM PST
by
rottndog
(This tagline currently closed for maintenance and rehabilitation.)
To: rottndog
How would it be if you told said customer that you didn’t work on Sundays?
Would s/he tell you they would pay extra? And what if you said it didn’t matter, Sundays were out?
I bet, if you didn’t work Sundays for an entire month, your bottom line would look MUCH better...
1,155
posted on
02/10/2008 11:57:24 PM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: rottndog; Monkey Face
1,156
posted on
02/11/2008 12:01:43 AM PST
by
ThomasThomas
(Pro football is just a nanny state version of rugby!)
To: ThomasThomas
OY!!!
The sound effects alone are enough to send me screaming into the darkness.....
1,157
posted on
02/11/2008 12:10:36 AM PST
by
Monkey Face
(A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer.)
To: Monkey Face
1,158
posted on
02/11/2008 4:17:07 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ metmom)
To: Tax-chick
Good Morning, T-C!
Um, it’s Monday, isn’t it? I just knew it.
Why does this have to happen to me?
1,159
posted on
02/11/2008 5:03:50 AM PST
by
NicknamedBob
(When will John McCain realize those MSM slaps on the back were just posting "Kick Me!" signs?)
To: NicknamedBob
Yes, it’s Monday here, too. And it’s cold.
1,160
posted on
02/11/2008 5:29:30 AM PST
by
Tax-chick
("Good guy wins, bad guy gets dead. Nothing to cry over here." ~ metmom)
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