Posted on 06/12/2007 1:15:54 PM PDT by PercivalWalks
Anne Heche's recently announced divorce/custody settlement with her estranged husband, Coley Laffoon, has some of the marks of the types of custody decisions which I and the fathers' rights movement have often criticized. According to the Entertainment Television story "Anne Heche's Hubby Gets Custody, Cash" (6/11/07):
"Anne Heche has to pay up, in more ways than one.
"A Los Angeles Superior Court judge awarded the actress' estranged husband, Coley Laffoon, primary physical custody of their five-year-old son, Homer, and an unspecified amount of child support.
"Heche, who's headed back to Vancouver next month to start shooting the second season of Men in Trees, will have alternate weekend visits with the boy.
"A source told E! News, however, that Laffoon—who was originally gunning for $33,000 a month in spousal and child support to maintain the 'marital standard of living' to which he had become accustomed—got 'far below his original demands.'
"The freelance videographer and stay-at-home dad, who filed for divorce in February, petitioned the court in early May for joint legal custody and primary physical custody of Homer, stating in his filing that Heche had 'poor parenting skills' and had exhibited 'bizarre and delusional behavior' that made him wary of leaving Homer in her care.
"Laffoon alleged that he was the one who had created a stable home life for Homer and requested that Heche be required to undergo a psychological evaluation.
"Heche, who went public with her longtime struggle with mental illness in her 2001 memoir Call Me Crazy, fired back, saying that, yes, Laffoon might spend more time at home than she does, but only because she's out earning a living and home is where he could engage in his favorite hobbies—playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating.
"'Coley does stay at home while I am working, but not to parent,' she stated in court documents."
Read the full article here: www.comcast.net/entertainment/index.jsp?fn=2007/06/11/232459.html
I have mixed emotions about the settlement. Below are some of my views, in no particular order:
1) It's nice to see a case where when a court decides to award custody to the primary caregiver and the primary caregiver is a man, they actually give him custody instead of finding some excuse to give it to the woman.
2) Heche has trashed her ex-husband, but at least she hasn't done what some female breadwinners do in order to get custody: pretend the primary caregiving father is violent or abusive, get a restraining order to boot him out of the house, and then win sole custody.
3) I believe in shared parenting, not sole or primary father custody, and I don't like it that Heche will only "have alternate weekend visits with the boy." However, since the couple lived in LA but she's currently working in Vancouver, that may be all that's possible. They had apparently planned that the boy would spend the summer with his mom in Vancouver, since he's not in school, but it's unclear if that is still the plan.
4) Heche has a well-documented, admitted history of mental illness, which may or may not have been resolved. I'm for shared custody for fit parents, and Heche may not be one. Laffoon's charges that Heche is mentally unstable could be a custody ploy, but they probably have at least some basis in fact.
5) I don't know how much money Heche has, but Laffoon's child support demands seem excessive.
6) I don't like it when primary caregiving dads are disparaged by their wives, ex-wives and the media as being lazy ne'er do wells. Laffoon has been staying home and caring for his 5-year-old son--nobody calls stay-at-home moms "lazy." In fact, they're often perceived as victims who have sacrificed their careers and fulfillment for their husbands and their kids. Obviously Laffoon appears to have an easy life because of Heche's money, but that's also true of the wives of wealthy men, and those wives still are usually treated sympathetically.
7) One reason why men hesitate to become their children's primary caregivers is their fear--often quite justified--that once their wives' careers soar past theirs, they will be disparaged as "losers." They also fear--with good reason--that their wives will become angry over the burden of having to be the family's primary breadwinner. Sometimes a woman is content being the primary breadwinner until the day she doesn't like her job, and then all hell breaks loose.
8) Heche says Laffoon's hobbies include "playing ping-pong, playing poker, checking out online porn and masturbating." She says that like it's a bad thing.
9) Heche says Laffoon might spend more time at home than she does, but only because she's out earning a living. That seems a fair complaint, and one often voiced by male breadwinners.
To read more on similar issues, visit Glenn Sacks' blog at GlennSacks.com.
Oh, I’m not questioning “Homer” as a name. I’m just guessing that many 7-to-13 (or so) year-old boys WILL find “Homer Laffoon” to be a name they want to deride, etc.
It’s Anne Heche. Also, I’m obeying the rules.
Ouch!
The author thinks that's a good thing.
Women with money, like anne heche and britney spears shouldn’t bother gettting married. What on earth do they have to gain? What happens if they died while married to these losers? The husband would try to get every cent and their blood relatives would be left high and dry. Look at anna nicole smith, the old guy had a will and look at what happened with that case. Heche didn’t even bother getting a prenup? That’s not very smart. Britney Spears almost didn’t want to bother with a prenup, but her mom and the lawyers insisted. I bet she’s glad she listened to mom. Paul Mccartney’s marriage was “true love” so he didn’t need a prenup. ROFL!
D'OH!!..
Hmmmm: His wife used to have sex with Ellen.
She is a known nut case.
She accuses him of watching internet porn and masturbating.
Does he do this in front of her? How else would she know?
Is she trying to say the guy thinks his hand is better sex than an ex-lesbian? Maybe she is right? His hand may indeed be better than she. She looks hot, maybe thats why Ellen liked her, she may be a hot lesbian and a sorry lay for a heterosexual. We may have to wait and see which side of the street she plays now.
By the time she reaches fifty, looks gone, emotionally unfullfilled, she will kill herself. That is how they usually end up.
Well, she certainly does prove that orienttion can be changed. Anyone who says it can't should plese explain what happened with her. She may be nuts, but she's evidence.
I watched her interview with Baba Wawa in which she talked about her abusive father, her determination to eradicate any sense of shame by indulging in drugs, booze, and sex, and her belief she had contact with space aliens. When she said she had found a guy, Walters asked if she had considered having children. I screamed, "No! Sterilize this woman!" But Walters said that she had gotten word after the interview was taped that Heche was pregnant.
One more thing -- Heche and Ellen DeOverrated got together when she was rebounding from a relationship with Steve Martin. When she said Ellen was the best sex she ever had, I almost felt the punch in the gut that must have been to Martin.
She is, in a way. But crazy always trumps hot in my book.
Many years ago, when I first discovered Dr. Laura Schlessinger, she was called by a man who said he didn't know what to do. Should he, he asked, go for full custody of his kids in light of the fact that his ex-wife was part of a crowd that believed in some new age/psychic/space alien/Eastern guru nonsense, and she would drag the kids to conferences and such. Dr. Laura asked the caller when the ex started going off the deep end with such behavior, and the caller said she had been like that as long as he had known her. Dr. Laura gasped, and shouted, "AND YOU MADE BABIES WITH THIS WOMAN?!"
At first the guy tried to laugh it off, but DLS was having none of it. She asked, "What was it about her that made you think she would be a good mother to your children?" He hemmed and hawed, and finally, Dr. Laura said, "I'll bet she's really good in bed! That's it, isn't it?" He mumbled, "Yeah, that's it."
With such women, the good crazy stuff ain't as good as the bad crazy stuff is bad. I wouldn't touch Anne Heche with a vaulting pole.
I don’t want to make babies with anne i was just sayin
I like your home page
Make sure you're just "sayin" and not "doin." With crazy chicks, you never know. It's not unheard of for crazy chicks to sabotage protection.
He’s really starting to look the the OwlGore, but without the calm, sane, caring look deep in the eyes.
Kind of like “a boy named Sue”
barbra ann
Kind of like “a boy named Sue”
barbra ann
Sounds like the hobbies of the average American male. Clearly the judge agreed.
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