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DUmmie FUnnies 09-26-06 (DUmmies Underwhelmed By Joe Biden's Presidential Candidacy Announcement)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 09/26/2006 6:22:11 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The first of the contenders for the Democrat nomination for president in '08 announced his candidacy this past weekend and hardly anyone noticed. The few people who did notice were notably underwhelmed, whether they be of the Left or Right. Perhaps this is because the newly announced candidate is the blowhard serial plagiarizer with the tranplanted Chia-Pet hair that few (except himself) take seriously---Senator Joe Biden. Personally, I am happy that Joe Biden is going to run because his histrionic antics will provide a WEALTH of comedic material for the DUmmie FUnnies. In fact, I am currently looking for Biden's best comedy performance ever. It is a video from about 20 years ago when during a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing, Biden had a nervous breakdown implosion while questioning then Secretary of State George Shultz about Africa policy. It has to be SEEN to be believed. If found, this video will definitely hit the top of the YouTube chart for popular videos. So my homework assignment for you DUFU fans out there is to locate that Biden Meltdown video so I can post the link an an update to this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. Even if Biden had the slightest of chances to be nominated, that video alone would knock him out of contention. You don't want a President with his finger on the nuclear button if he acts like he needs to be institutionalized as is the case with Biden in the video. Of course, that damning video won't be necessary to keep him from the presidency since Bidens long record of blow hard histrionics has turned off even the Left as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, "Biden says he's going to run." So let us now watch even the DUmmies look upon Biden with complete disdain in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering why I am the first PJ-Comix in a thousand generations to have a web blog, is in the [brackets]:

Biden says he's going to run

[And almost nobody noticed.]

Sen. Joe Biden, D-Del., bucked a trend by announcing his intention to run for president over the weekend - distinguishing himself from other visiting hopefuls who have dodged the question on their respective visits to Iowa.

[Yeah. The trend is that you wait until at least AFTER the mid-term elections before announcing your candidacy. Of course, such an unspoken rule does not apply to egotistic blowhards that love to hear the sound of their own voices talking about nothing in general.]

Biden swept through eastern Iowa on Sept. 23, stumping and raising money for Democratic congressional hopeful Dave Loebsack during a two-day tour of the state.

[Loebsack? Any relation to the equally unknown Tom Vilsack?]

"I'm coming back next year to do something else," Biden said near the end of his speech in Cedar Rapids, referring to next fall's run-up to Iowa's January 2008 caucuses, which signal the official start of the presidential election cycle.

[Biden is coming back to Iowa next year to deliver another long-winded, possibly plagiarized speech.]

Delaware's senior senator touched on health care, the minimum wage, the balance of power in Congress, and the overall direction of the country to the crowd of roughly 40 Democratic supporters.

[Most of the 40 were probably there to chow down on the free eats, not to listen to the Senatorial Chia Pet endlessly pontificate to death subjects they aren't paying attention to.]

blah. The less you know about Biden the better he looks.

[But the more you know about Biden the FUnnier he looks.]

Biden is poll worthy.. That is, if anyone cares to do a poll about him running..

[I have noticed that polls about prospective Democrat presidential candidates rarely include Biden in the listings. Maybe his candidacy announcement is Biden's way of declaring, "Hey, looky me! I EXIST!!!"]

The only support Biden will get is from a jockstrap.

[Extra-large if it is John Kerry's jockstrap. John Kerry wants you to know he wears an EXTRA-LARGE jockstrap.]

He's running on a platform of appeasement. A sure winner. F*ck Biden and everything about him. He has NO spine.

[Does this mean that you don't like Joe Biden?]

Biden can kiss my happy backside! Freakin' bloviating blowhard.

[Hey, it sounds like Pied Piper Pitt can get a job with the Biden campaign. Freakin' bloviating blowhards are known to bond right away.]

I know someone who went to Syracuse Law with him who said his reputation was that he was not smart at all. Where did this idea that he was smart come from?

[From Joe Biden.]

War on Plagiarism Threat Level: Red: Severe Risk

[LOL! Even DUmmies sometimes come up with FUnnie laugh lines on purpose.]

He hasn't got the proverbial snowball's chance in hell.

[True. But he will be a great unintentional supplier of comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies so I welcome Joe into the '08 presidential race.]

Just how out of touch with reality is he?

[Shhh! Don't discourage Joe. He is an impressive candidate in his own mind.]

Is this why he rushes toward any available camera?

[He wants to show off the progress of his Chia Pet hair.]

The most dangerous place in America, is between Joe Biden and a television camera...

[Did Joe run over Chuck Schumer?]

Oh brother....I'll look forward to his preening and posturing..

[Me too!]

Every time Biden opens his mouth it just seems way more obviously calculating and designed to get him press and attention than it does for most other people. I am not naive and realize this is the case with most politicians but with Biden I just think he's so shitty at hiding it.

[Joe finds it impossible to hide his narcissism.]

Joe, put the bong down, Joe.

[And have a hit from the crack pipe.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: chiapet; dummies; joebiden; neilkinnock
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To: PJ-Comix
Biden is poll worthy.

Biden is pill worthy. When he keeps going on and on and on, it's like a sleeping pill.

21 posted on 09/26/2006 7:01:10 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson ("Plugs" Biden: Master of the 20-minute question.)
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To: PJ-Comix
22
22 posted on 09/26/2006 7:02:48 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't deserve to win, but America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats.)
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To: PJ-Comix

That's an interesting photo of Biden. Looks like he's got Nancy Pelosi's plastic surgeon.


23 posted on 09/26/2006 7:03:13 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Freedom isn't free, but the men and women of the military will pay most of your share)
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To: PJ-Comix
He's running on a platform of appeasement.

Give appeasement a chance.

24 posted on 09/26/2006 7:03:32 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Appeasement in our time.)
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To: PJ-Comix
I believe that exchange between Biden and Secretary of State George Shultz probably took place on July 23, 1986, if that helps. I didn't read this news article but that was the day Shultz testified at a hearing of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee about U.S. policy on South Africa.
25 posted on 09/26/2006 7:04:04 AM PDT by faq
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To: PJ-Comix
The most dangerous place in America, is between Joe Biden and a television camera...

I think somebody's been listening to Rush.

26 posted on 09/26/2006 7:05:01 AM PDT by beckysueb (Pray for President Bush and our country.)
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To: Ditter
After looking at Bidens picture I think he has plenty of hair, it's just a funny color and texture. I think he should dye it baboon red. That would make him stand out in a crowded field of 'dim prez wanna bees'.

A little of Kerry's botox wouldn't hurt either.

27 posted on 09/26/2006 7:08:15 AM PDT by beckysueb (Pray for President Bush and our country.)
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To: PJ-Comix

What is it with democrats and fingers?


28 posted on 09/26/2006 7:09:28 AM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
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To: Gabz

Bindenizer ping.


29 posted on 09/26/2006 7:18:57 AM PDT by NeoCaveman (The race is on http://BlackwellvStrickland.blogspot.com (now linked on RealClearPolitics.com))
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To: PJ-Comix
He has NO spine.

Maybe Doc Dean can give him a spine transplant:


30 posted on 09/26/2006 7:20:35 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Mad Doctor.)
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To: PJ-Comix; kevkrom
Biden can kiss my happy backside!

Is that you, benburch?

31 posted on 09/26/2006 7:23:08 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Meeting our benburch joke quota on a daily basis.)
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To: PJ-Comix
[Hey, it sounds like Pied Piper Pitt can get a job with the Biden campaign. Freakin' bloviating blowhards are known to bond right away.]

Joe "20-Minute Question" Biden is the Ponderous Pitt of politics. Bloviation is their métier. And the métier is running . . . on and on and on and on. . . .

32 posted on 09/26/2006 7:27:19 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Pitt and the Ponderous.)
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To: PJ-Comix
War on Plagiarism Threat Level: Red: Severe Risk

You're right, PJ. That is a rare witty remark by a DUmmie. Must be a . . . LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!

33 posted on 09/26/2006 7:30:18 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Generally unFUnnie DUmmies.)
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To: PJ-Comix
He hasn't got the proverbial snowball's chance in hell.

Just like Jean-Fraud Kerry hasn't got a snowboard's chance in Hil.

34 posted on 09/26/2006 7:33:00 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The Rove has already declared: "Hillary!")
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To: PJ-Comix
But he will be a great unintentional supplier of comedy material for the DUmmie FUnnies. . . .

Right again, PJ. "Plugs" Biden is comedy gold. Not only does he possess the Pitt Ponderous Pontificator Quotient, he can combine that with Howard Dean-like wackiness and excitability. "Plugs" must be a manic-depressive or something. "Bipolar" Biden?

35 posted on 09/26/2006 7:38:43 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson ("Bipolar" Biden?)
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To: PJ-Comix
Just how out of touch with reality is he?

Not as much as The Reality-Based Community™.

36 posted on 09/26/2006 7:43:42 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (DUmmieland: The Reality-Based Community.)
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To: PJ-Comix
The most dangerous place in America, is between Joe Biden and a television camera...

Even the DUmmies know their Biden.

37 posted on 09/26/2006 7:45:53 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Joe "Look to the red light" Biden.)
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To: PJ-Comix

BTW, if you hadn't guessed already, this "story" falls under the category of manufactured news. The Biden quote falls far short of actually being an announcement of candidacy. What happened is that this student reporter just manufactured Biden's announcement.


38 posted on 09/26/2006 7:57:58 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: faq

Yeah. I think that's the date. The video is INCREDIBLE but I couldn't find it on the web. If you ever see it, I guarantee your jaw will drop. Biden just implodes all over the place and every time you think he is done, he keeps going on like a crazed Energizer BUnnie.


39 posted on 09/26/2006 8:00:14 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
It must now be a DNC regulation that the Dem primaries feature a certain amount of comic relief. Of course 2004 was a bumper crop for comic relief, featuring laugh riots such as Dennis Kucinich, Al Sharpton and Carol Moseley Braun, not to mention that monarch of mirth, Howard Dean.

How can they top those performances? Well, they can't put their best material on first, so they'll start with Joe as a warmup act. He'll get a few chuckles with the plugs and "borrowed" speeches, but for the real boffo material they need a mainline act. I don't think John Edwards is it. There is just so much you can get from the Breck girl hair schtick.

No, they need someone to offset Hillary shriek, droning Kerry and wooden Algore. Al Franken has been considering a run for political office. Hmmm.
40 posted on 09/26/2006 8:12:40 AM PDT by DeFault User
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