Posted on 02/07/2006 9:18:36 AM PST by rushlimbaughshow
Given the end of football season and the tragic loss of the nature-loving Seahawks to the capitalist pig Steelers, environmentalist wackos everywhere turn their attention toward the NCAA and the approaching men’s basketball tournament in March. Here’s a breakdown of this week’s biggest game...
ACC Basketball: Duke Blue Devils vs. Maryland Terrapins
Saturday’s NCAA men’s basketball showdown between #2 Duke and unranked Maryland pits two of the ACC’s top non-Native American bigot, pre-approved, officially sanctioned school mascots against one another. Both are to be heralded for their choice of politically-correct mascots, yet from an environmentalist wacko perspective, one has a decided advantage over the other…
The University of Maryland has done more to promote the terrible plight of the terrapin than any organization of record. As a result of their efforts, the turtle is no longer viewed as a speed-challenged creature but as a relentless warrior (not to be confused with Native American warriors) enjoying all the benefits of high self-esteem. Furthermore, the University of Maryland heightened awareness of the dangers of capitalism run amuck when it highlighted the horrors of plastic six-pack rings and other chemically-produced materials of industry that have caused the death of 18 trillion sea turtles, thus threatening the ecosystem and the very foundation of life itself.
On the other hand, Duke University made a brave and courageous decision when it named its sports teams in honor of the Blue Devils, a French military outfit from the World War I era. This is to be viewed in its rightful context as an outright endorsement of French socialism and the subsequent policy of French pacifism since that war. Socialism must always be celebrated. Nevertheless, the Duke Blue Devils remain symbols of a white male-dominated culture of European oppression and colonialism – the same white male culture that created plastic and attempted to use it to strangle terrapins and make the sea turtle an endangered species.
The outcome of this game rests upon one simple truth – turtles are superior to humans, both morally and within the context of the ecosystem.
Therefore, the Maryland Terrapins prevail over the Duke Blue Devils.
Pick: Maryland Terrapins 85, Duke Blue Devils 78
Past Environmentalist Wacko Picks
Go, Blue Devils!
Go, Blue Devils!
We know where but
we don't swear...
Go, go, Blue Devils!
-- Politically incorrect cheer (unofficial) of the Peters Township Indians against the Burgettstown PA Blue Devils (ca. 1970's)...
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