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DUmmie FUnnies 12-30-05 (Pied PIper Pitt's Fictional Response To DUmmie FUnnies)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 30, 2005 | William Rives Pitt and PJ-Comix

Posted on 12/30/2005 5:24:52 AM PST by PJ-Comix

Talk about Reality Challenged DUmmies! First William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt posts this Reality Challenged THREAD titled, "Going Too Far (or, my conversation with the Bush supporter at the bar)" in which he was MIRACULOUSLY able to reproduce in word-for-word detail a long conversation he had with Ty, whom Pitt described as a Bush supporter who, under the guidance of the All-Wise and erudite Pitt, was able to see the error of his ways. Maybe I am far inferior to the incredible Pitt intellect but, sans tape recorder, I would be hard pressed to reproduce in quotes a long conversation I had even a few minutes earlier, much less from a least a day before as Pitt indicated. Even some DUmmies cast aspersions on Pitt's claim of being able to reproduce his conversation in all its fine detail. Then late last night, Pitt posted a reality challenged (fictional) account of what transpired between us in this DUmmie THREAD titled, in Pittian style, "In the shadow of staggering assholes." Pied Piper Pitt's fictional fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, about to correct the fictional record, is in the [brackets]:

In the shadow of staggering assholes

[Still talking about your failed September rally, eh Pitt?]

FOR THE RECORD: I say "Some DUer" in the post below because he introduced himself on the phone with a DU screen name. I will not repeat it; I don't know if this person is a banned former member or what, but regardless, I am not going to make Captain Ass any more famous. Don't ask who it was, either in this thread or via PM. I will not say. Sufficed to say, the following did happen, and the person was a present or former DUer.

[Congratulations for getting to the fiction RIGHT AWAY. FOR THE RECORD: I am not now nor have I ever been a DUmmie. And "DUmmie FUnnies" which is how I introduced myself, is a DUmmie screen name?]

Y'all maybe saw the essay I put up here yesterday, about my conversation with the bouncer at my bar:

["Y'all." Isn't that the type of terminology you ascribe to unenlightened Bush supporters in stark contrast to your own erudite commentary?]

http://www.truthout.org/docs_2005/122905A.shtml

["Truthout." Appropriate name.]

Well, some folks in the thread I put up on this doubted that it was true. That's fine. I laid a challenge on the table: Ten thousand dollars says anyone can come to Boston, meet this guy, and hear from him that what I wrote was true. If I lied, I pay. If I spoke true, they pay. Strangely, no one took me up on it. Go figure.

[Why go to the trouble of hopping a flight to Boston? Making a phone call is a bit easier.]

Well.

[Will.]

Today, apparently, some DUer who doesn't much like me decided to go a different route. I didn't name the bar I go to in the piece, but this DUer knew which one it was. That means, probably, that he came to Boston for the DNC and I took him into the bosom of my hospitality, brought him to my bar, bought him beers, etc.

[LOL! The fictional assumptions in that paragraph are astounding. First of all, I have never even been to Boston ever plus, I assure you I am not now nor have I ever been in the DNC. As to the "bosom of your hospitality..." Sorry, I don't swing that way.]

This DUer called Ty AT WORK to pester him about the substance of the essay. Demanded to read the essay to him on the phone, so he could ask if the quotes were accurate. Demanded and demanded and demanded, as if he had a right to f*ck with this guy at work.

[Actually, inspired by YOUR challenge, I called a couple of Boston establishments asking if a Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. Two to be exact. Both told me no Ty worked there. End of conversation. Oh, and I checked my cell phone log and the total elapsed time of the call to the bar where Ty did work act was exactly 36 seconds. Hardly time to Demand and demand and demand. An account of those phone calls was posted on this Free Republic THREAD at Reply #72 right after they happened.]

Ever have a random stranger call you at work?

[Yes. And I always enjoy the break from the routine it affords me. Of course, I never actually talked to Ty when I made those first two calls.]

Add to that the rules of this place of work: Personal calls are for emergency use only. So my boy winds up getting talked to by his two bosses because this DUer called and pushed, and pushed, and pushed, to talk to Ty.

[I asked if Ty or someone from New Orleans worked there. When told no, I hung up. Total elapsed phone time according to my cell phone log was 36 seconds. "Pushed, and pushed, and pushed, and pushed?" Perhaps in your fictional alternate reality, Pitt.]

Why?

[Why write such astounding fiction? Continue...]

Because this DUer fancies himself a writer in his own right. But rather than carve out a place for himself the hard way like I did through hard work, dilligence, truth-telling and the development of sources over ten years, this DUer wanted to take a shortcut. He called Ty to try to get him to say I lied in my story.

[Actually Ty called ME back later as I recounted immediately afterward in my Reply #111 in this Free Republic THREAD. He had NOT heard about your piece about him and was curious for me to read it to him. He even waited until I booted up my computer. Since the connection was bad, Ty told me he would call back later on a landline so he could hear the rest of the piece. Oh, and that part about "truth telling" by Pitt gave me a chuckle.]

In other words, this DUer tried to crawl up over my back, tried to get immediately famous by "exposing" me. That way, he could write about it and make a splash.

[You've already been exposed MANY times in your own words here on the DUmmie FUnnies, Pitt. My fave was the bit about a fascistic "Third American Empire" and how rampant fanatical nationalism was born the day the USA won the 1980 Olympic Hockey Game against the Soviet Union.]

Too bad for him, though, that the story was true. Ty had his number from the earlier call, and I called this asshat back, and handed the phone to Ty. Ty said, "Every word Will wrote was truth. He quoted me exactly. I don't need motherf*ckers calling me at work. F*ck off."

[WRONG AGAIN, Baked Bean Breath! You called me back and told me Ty was standing next to you when I asked if he was there. Then you REFUSED to let me read to Ty word for word your own piece. Get your fictional narrative straight, Pitt. Oh, and here is the account at Reply #129 at this FR THREAD immediately after you called me. Five minutes later (according to phone log) I called you back and Ty in that timeframe had somehow miraculously read that piece at the bar which sparked my skeptical antenna. An account of this posted immediately afterwards in my Reply #143 on this FR THREAD.]

Now here's the funny part.

[DUmmie threads are ALWAYS FUnnie.]

I got back on the phone with this poor excuse for a poop, and he tries to grill me on ANSWER, tries to grill me on impeachment, tries to pry a story out of his failed attempt to f*ck with my friend. After I finished yelling at him, he said, "Well, I have a lot of good material now." It was pathetic.

[Not as pathetic as your claim that even though you admitted that PDA worked with A.N.S.W.E.R. to organize the September Rally, you yourself NEVER EVER had any dealings with ANYBODY from A.N.S.W.E.R.. Yes, you were hermetically sealed and remained virgin pure. Oh, and you claimed that you never read the leftist Daily Kos piece declaring the September rally to have been an embarrassing flop. More fiction, Pitt?]

But not as pathetic as when he said, "So, will you do a podcast for me?"

[That was in FIVE MINUTES later (according to cell phone log) when I called you back. Yes, I am planning a DUFU Podcast and to make it interesting I want guests who are either not into politics are have loony leftwing views like you, Pitt. Invitation still open. I'll even allow you to read your fiction on the Podcast.]

I told him to f*ck himself. Loudly, colorfully, offering both directions and a map.

[No directions and map did you give but you did curse colorfully. I'll give you that, Pitt.]

Morals:

1. I don't lie in my essays;

[I BEEEEELEEEEVEEEE!!! I BEEEEELEEEEEVE that Pied Piper Pitt has the astounding ability to accurately quote long detailed conversations WORD FOR WORD days after they take place without the use of a tape recorder. I BEEEEEELEEEEEEVE!!!]

2. If you have questions, I am not hard to find;

[Why go to you for a source? Just from this post you are proving yourself to be a fiction spinner.]

3. Don't f*ck with my friends;

[Maybe you shouldn't PUBLICLY post private "conversations" with friends and then offer a money bounty on its veracity.]

4. Don't try to crawl over my back to make yourself famous. Put the work in;

[DUmmie FUnnies already has the BIGGEST Ping List on the FR. However, I do give you credit for the wealth of comedic material you have provided the DUFUs in the past, Pitt.]

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

[Maybe Ty will eat YOUR liver when he actually gets around to reading how you portrayed him plus that public bounty offer you made, Pitt.]

6. Don't beg for a podcast after making an asshole out of yourself.

[I think it was more "ask" than "beg." Strange thing is that Publicity Hound Pitt, after initially rejecting the idea, then started to seem open to it. Offer still stands, Pitt.]

Final moral: We are all in this together, but some think this is all a big paycheck. This guy wanted to do damage to me in order to better his own pathetic state of affairs, and had no hesitation to f*ck with a friend of mine he had never met in order to do so.

[I'm not so sure he will be a friend of yours after he reads what you wrote about him. That plus your public bounty offer.]

In other words, some pigs think they are more equal than others.

[Try actually reading "Animal Farm," Pitt. It's anti-communist theme might even seep thru your thick skull.]

Anyway, this was my night. Fun, eh?

[Fiction, eh?]

Anyone who thinks being well-known (for me, even minorly well-known) is a good thing needs a beating. I can't write a personal essay without the people involved getting messed with.

[Maybe you shouldn't publicly offer bounties to defend your dubious veracity, Pitt. In any event, if your account of your original conversation with Ty is as accurate as the fiction you spun here, no wonder folks are casting doubt on it. However, thanx mucho for that chuckle about me being in the DNC!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: du; dufu; dummie; dummies; pitt; ty; williampitt
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To: Choose Ye This Day

At least we got a first-hand look at how Pitt spins these wild conspiracy theories. I amazed he doesn't think Karl Rove was somehow involved in all this. What a loon.


61 posted on 12/30/2005 8:08:57 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: PJ-Comix
OMG. What a day. This story is getting more interesting than scAmdy.

Even though you said "Dummie Funnies" to Pitt, he still didn't realize it was Freepers messing with him.
62 posted on 12/30/2005 8:12:54 AM PST by varyouga (I no longer fear death. I only fear the day when the DUmmies take over.)
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To: PJ-Comix

If there ever really was a "Ty" he certainly was never a supporter of Pres. Bush. Nobody who is a supporter of the Pres. would ever be friends with that lying POS Pitt.

The only place Pitt is "famous" is in his own mind and a very small mind it is.


63 posted on 12/30/2005 8:16:01 AM PST by beandog (Proud bRushbot)
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To: PJ-Comix
You know what's even more hilarious?

Pitt couldn't even recite one line from your 36 second conversation a few hours before but somehow writes 4 pages about a long conversation that happened the day before.

Pitt has been DUmmie FUnnied!
64 posted on 12/30/2005 8:23:22 AM PST by varyouga (I no longer fear death. I only fear the day when the DUmmies take over.)
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To: varyouga
Pitt couldn't even recite one line from your 36 second conversation a few hours before but somehow writes 4 pages about a long conversation that happened the day before.

The 35 second conversation was when I first called the bar and supposedly DEMANDED AND DEMANDED AND DEMANDED AND DEMANDED to talk to Ty even though total conversation time was 36 seconds. When I later talked to Pitt, it was about 6 minutes. Oh, and even though he quoted word for word conversations from days earlier, he complete screwed up his account of our conversation. He couldn't even get the name I gave him correct. Last I checked, "DUmmie FUnnies" was NEVER a DUmmie screen name.

65 posted on 12/30/2005 8:29:55 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
PJ, this thing is better than Scamdy! Unless Pitt ends up mysteriously dead from trenchmouth or something, but I digress..

5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

This sounds like a threat. To "Ty" and Pitt, I say, Bring It! PJ has got mad backup down here in South Florida, and we dont f*ck around. Check the news...

66 posted on 12/30/2005 8:31:26 AM PST by Paradox (Time to sharpen ole Occam's Razor.)
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To: Paradox
5. Ty wants to eat this guy's liver; he genuienly wants to do violence to this person, so f*cking with Ty is a bad idea;

Oh blow me Pitt. Ty too. I'm a former Marine, you want to threaten me with violence, you better be prepared to go the distance. Keyboard Commando. LOL.

67 posted on 12/30/2005 8:36:58 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: PJ-Comix

Dummie "Youth in Asia" posted on Pitt's Fictional Response to DUFU, "He's a Freeper Alright," and provided the links to the Dec 29th Dufu and this one.

He posted it at 9:25 A.M. today and it is still up. Those lovable little sleepy-heads at DU will probably get around to banging the Alert button this afternoon.

Not to worry, Pitt-iful. The Dummies are so terrified of going near a Conservative site, that even with Skinner, aka, David Allen, away at the safe house for debriefings by Agent Mike, the Dummies will not activate Youth in Asia's links to DUFU to learn what really happened.

Pavlov's dogs - Skinner's Dummies.


68 posted on 12/30/2005 8:40:31 AM PST by Barset
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To: Barset
LOL. DUmmies never get up as early as FReepers. Maybe that's why they never get the worm.
69 posted on 12/30/2005 8:44:54 AM PST by varyouga (I no longer fear death. I only fear the day when the DUmmies take over.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Just on a slightly different line, have you ever witnessed a DUmmie "tombstone" of the wrong person? I've seen it a couple of times and it's hilarious. They've probably turned some people from the dark side just by doing it. Also when they try to clear "Freepers" out of DUmmieland and miss is comedy gold.

FYI to all, Pitt used to post here and IIRC, Jim Rob gave him every opportunity to make his points with fact based arguments and Pitt failed, several times.
70 posted on 12/30/2005 8:45:29 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: PJ-Comix

OMG. This is a funny one PJ. Your ant farm is going nuts:

#62 "Looks like PJ-Comix of DUmmie Funnies fame is also a mole here on DU."

#67 "You be careful Will Pitt. Obviously, this freeper went to a DU gathering in Boston and mingled with fellow DU'ers."

I expect they'll be an inquisition by noon, or the thread will be yanked once they realize how stupid they look.

I blame Karl Rove. LOL. Thanks for the laughs PJ!


71 posted on 12/30/2005 8:50:49 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Fenris6
I hate to play master of the obvious but anyone else notice how quickly the supposed "tolerant" lefties mention physical violence as a means of solving disputes?
72 posted on 12/30/2005 8:51:19 AM PST by Hillarys Gate Cult
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To: PJ-Comix

Somebodys last brain cell exploded:

"Stephanie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Fri Dec-30-05 10:49 AM
Response to Reply #54
65. oh my god, it IS those Scamdy freaks!


They have taken harrassment to a new level. Will, these are the exact same fuckheads you were going to wipe the ground with last spring when Andy was being harrassed to his grave. "


73 posted on 12/30/2005 8:51:37 AM PST by nonkultur
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To: Barset

Here's another classic from this thread. The DUmmies just keep stuning their beebers.


FlemingsGhost (1000+ posts) Fri Dec-30-05 03:49 AM
Response to Reply #35
37. Dude ... isn't it, like four in the morning in Beantown?
Meth? Snow? Uppers? C'mon ... what are you on?



WilliamPitt (1000+ posts) Fri Dec-30-05 04:01 AM
Response to Reply #37
39. Nah
Sleep is for the weak.

(he says, on the way to bed)

My sleep schedule is generally deranged. I work better at night. The essay at the center of this whole thing, for example, I wrote near midnight.

It is what it is.

'night.


74 posted on 12/30/2005 8:53:08 AM PST by varyouga (I no longer fear death. I only fear the day when the DUmmies take over.)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
I hate to play master of the obvious but anyone else notice how quickly the supposed "tolerant" lefties mention physical violence as a means of solving disputes?

Yup, I was about to post along those lines. We're the "fascist regime", yet they are the ones who always invoke threats of violence in an attempt to bully things their way. Don't take them seriously though - most Lefty's would wet themselves at the first face-to-face enounter. The trembling, the shrill voice, the fear in thier eyes. LMAO.

75 posted on 12/30/2005 8:55:12 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Fenris6
#67 "You be careful Will Pitt. Obviously, this freeper went to a DU gathering in Boston and mingled with fellow DU'ers."

LOL! I've never even been to Boston...ever.

76 posted on 12/30/2005 9:02:07 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: varyouga

Oh yeah. I forgot about how much trouble insomniac Pitt has sleeping. We had a DUFU on that topic as well.


77 posted on 12/30/2005 9:03:41 AM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: Hillarys Gate Cult
sfexpat2000 #73. Will, if you want the Nickel Street Protection Agency to Break this idiot's legs, you have our card.

LOL. Lets RICO their butts. Ha.

78 posted on 12/30/2005 9:08:43 AM PST by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: DeusExMachina05; PJ-Comix
This is your penultimate piece of work.

This is your next to last piece, PJ?

I hope it is NOT!!

79 posted on 12/30/2005 9:19:19 AM PST by freedumb2003 (American troops cannot be defeated. American Politicians can.)
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To: Amityschild

Because it's all a lie, he had a friend pretend to be Ty since he realized that some were intent on checking out his grandiose tale. I'm sure he had to find a friend to pretend to be Ty. The reason he insists that it is a disgruntled DUmmie is probably that he doesn't want the DUmmies to read the FUnnies and find out what a lying asshat he really is.

He's the elite; a leader amongst the lesser equals, in his own mind. I'm sure he thinks he can keep the DUmmies from finding out the truth.


80 posted on 12/30/2005 9:25:40 AM PST by kenth (Merry Christmas!)
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