Ten Reasons Why Liberals Can't Stand Thanksgiving

markoutland.com ^ | November 23, 2005 | Mark Outland

[moutland]

Ten Reasons Why Liberals Can't Stand Thanksgiving

[moutland]

1. Millions of dead babies is a civil right, but millions of dead turkeys is a holocaust.

2. Pilgrims were Christian fundamentalists.

3. Having a national holiday to thank God for our blessings violates the separation of church and state.

4. Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday, and anything American has got to be bad.

5. If all the money people selfishly spend to gorge themselves on Thanksgiving was instead confiscated by the government and given to the poor, what a better world this would be.

6. Families travelling by car and plane to visit relatives drastically increases pollution levels, and therefore hastens global warming and world-wide climactic catastrophe.

7. In our sexist society, women are forced into the kitchen to cook and clean for hours while men watch football and drink beer.

8. None of the Pilgrims were black, gay, or had abortions.

9. Why celebrate the arrival of the white man, who eventually stole the continent from the peaceful, environmentally friendly Indians?

10. Thanksgiving takes attention away from the UN's International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, on November 25.

[nmh]

I like that and it is sooo true.

Liberals are the most UN-thankful and UN-grateful people you will ever meet.

[fanfan]

4. Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday, and anything American has got to be bad.

Hey!
We Canadians have Thanksgiving too.
We just have to have it in October so that we actually have a hope of thawing out the bird.

[Chewie84]

That was pretty close to the truth about why leftists ahte Thanksgiving.

[Chewie84]

Oops, I meant "hate,"

[fanfan]

LOL.

Leftist hate everything.


Happy Thanksgiving!

[Fenris6]

3. Having a national holiday to thank God for our blessings violates the separation of church and state.

It goes beyond that - the Left is hostile [and rightly so] because they recognize that God and Socialism are in conflict. Religion demands that man subordinate his soul to a power higher than the State.

[bigsigh]

Isn't Canada in America?

[fanfan]

Isn't Canada in America?



Canada is in North America.

America is the accepted term for the United States of America.

:-)

[bigsigh]

B+ Thanx for playing. Next contestant.

[fanfan]

I beg your pardon?

[bigsigh]

Let's start with Canada IS in America, then everything else may make some sense. And stop begging.

[fanfan]

There is no need to speak to me like that.

I was simply pointing out that Canada is part of what we call North America.

The Continents in the Western Hemisphere are known as the Americas, including North and South America.

Chill.

[GMMAC]

Aside from semantical arguments being almost solely a liberal venue, one of the very few things Kanuckistan seems to have right is its timing of Thanksgiving.

The second Monday in October much more nicely breaks up the stretch from Labor Day to Christmas and, for the bulk of North America, makes more sense from both ideal climatic and seasonal standpoints. Beyond limited celebration of Columbus Day, the Northern U.S. really doesn't have a Fall holiday. Especially when right now, regardless of what the calendar says, it looks a whole lot more like Winter in much of that area.

[H. Paul Pressler IV]

8. None of the Pilgrims were black, gay, or had abortions

I imagine some may see that as a good thing.

[bigsigh]

can't move Thanksgiving to October, makes too much sense if it's closer to harvest time and extends Christmas shopping beyond tolerable limits.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

We Canadians have Thanksgiving too.

And what continent is Canada on? BTW, do you have Canada Goose for Thanksgiving? If so, I can suggest a place to take all you want.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Liberals hate Thanksgiving because it's all about gratitude and liberals are all about resentment.

[fanfan]

LOL.
Canada is on the continent we all call North America.(World leader in being just North of the United States.)

OTOH, a holiday called an "American" holiday, generally refers to a holiday in the United States of America, such as Lincoln's Birthday, Independence Day, etc. which are not also celebrated in Canada.

------------------------------------

Some hunters have Canada Goose for Thanksgiving, but we always have turkey.

;-)

[GMMAC]

"Some hunters have Canada Goose for Thanksgiving ..."

Hopefully this practice isn't widespread among conservatives, since any regular consumption of these de facto feathered garbage dumpsters would probably lower birth rates among those not fatally poisoned outright to leftist-like levels.

BTW, perhaps any confusion which exists from there being two 'Thanksgivings', each with its own respective date, could be rectified in typical Kanuckistani fashion?

Whereby the Liberal government establishes a multi-million tax dollar Royal Commission, headed up by an out-of-work socialist academic (Bob Rae?), which can then spend years attempting to determine the best way the insert a superfluous 'u' into the Northern version of the name for this same holiday.

Suppose, depending on your point of view, the downside/upside is that 'solutions' - "ThanksUgiving"? - eventually rendered by such make-work entities typically aren't then acted upon.