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DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-05 ("How is Andy doing?")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 9, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/09/2005 5:05:30 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

The first thing I did when I saw this DUmmie THREAD titled, “How is Andy doing?” at 6:50 AM this morning was enter “cancer” into the FIND function and guess what? NO mention of cancer at all on the entire page. You know if Scamdy had pancreatic CANCER it would have been mentioned at least ONCE (although they might toss that word in the thread AFTER reading this edition of the DUFUs). Therefore, if Scamdy did NOT have cancer what was the reason he went to Johns Hopkins in the first place? He could have had regular pancreatic surgery done in his home state of Washington without any need to shill for $50,000+. I put the PLUS sign in there because since Skinner had absolutely NO ACCOUNTING of the Scamdy money taken in, that figure could be well in excess of $50,000. Since Scamdy had his appeal going on OVER a hundred other Leftist websites, it is a good chance that he pocketed a SIZABLE chunk of change over and above what it cost him for mere (non-cancerous) pancreatic surgery. One interesting thing about this thread is not ONE word from Sknner or Pied Piper Pitt since they are both hoping that Scamdy just go away. Somehow Scamdy seems to have a bizarre hold over both of them. So let us now enter this Dummieland thread where all thought of Scamdy’s supposed cancer is tossed down the Memory Pitt in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who thinks Scamdy is just $10 away from mentioning “cancer,” is in the [brackets]:

How is Andy doing?

[Wonderfully. Scamdy is recuperating quickly from ROUTINE non-cancerous pancreatic surgery. Thanks to all the money he raked in over and above what was needed for the unnecessary Johns Hopkins operation, Scamdy has more than enough to enjoy a great recuperation period in the Caribbean.]

I assume we are allowed to ask that again. How is he feeling?

[Be careful how you ask that. If you ask why he went to Johns Hopkins unnecessarily because he did NOT have pancreatic cancer, you will probably be tombstoned.]

Well lets see...The incision is still tender...but my appetite is coming back and I am regaining more of my strength every day. I got back home late last night and it was awesome to sleep in my own bed again. Thanks for asking and for the concern! It has meant so much to me what DU has done for me. You all rock. I still have another pahse of treatment but the doctor is confident I will make a full recovery. Mentally I am in that space and truly, I am feeling better everyday.

[Recuperation from NON-CANCEROUS pancreatic surgery is fairly rapid, Scamdy. BTW, why no thank you to all the suckers you conned for a Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need?]

Hey, man, you oughta be in bed asleep, regaining your strength. It's great to hear from you, and I'm thrilled you're posting. Keep up with vitamins and good fruits and veggies, and drink only distilled water. I am so serious about this. We all love ya, dear. Keep posting, you make us all feel so good inside.

[Make us feel so good inside and let us believe that you really did need that money we wasted on you to go to Johns Hopkins for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need.]

I have slept alot over the last 2 weeks. today I felt the best I have since surgery. Like I say my strength is coming back more and more each day.

[You’ve certainly slept a lot better than Pied Piper Pitt, Scamdy. He is so worried sick about how you used him to put over an enormous con for a pancreatic cancer operation that you did NOT need, that he hasn’t slept since April.]

This is wonderful news! I'm glad to hear that you're up and about!

[Yes, this is wonderful news. Thank God Scamdy never had pancreatic cancer in the first place. If he did, he would probably still be flat on his back instead of being his chipper self and singing Broadway show tunes over the cell phone from his ICU.]

HI, Andy! Glad to hear you're back home and getting better! Appetite is a good sign...

[Scamdy can now afford to go to Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse on an almost daily basis thanx to all that money you folks sent him for an unnecessary Johns Hopkins pancreatic cancer operation which did NOT take place.]

Yes it is...although I have found my tastes have changed...for example. I used to love tomatoes...now they taste like straw and celery is peach sweet to me. Apparently that is one of the side effects of pancreatic surgery...changed taste buds.

[I bet Roast DUmmie suckerling tastes mighty sweet to you, Scamdy.]

pineapple and papaya are the best for you and not cooked, either. you gotta keep your weight up, my dear.

[Actually, Scamdy could stand to LOSE a few pounds since he is about to enter the Guinness Book of Records as the FATTEST “pancreatic cancer” patient in history.]

Somebody used to tell me that carrot juice was really really good for you. Good to hear you're doing well, Andy! Keep it up!

[Scamdy prefers Yellow-bellied Sapsucker.]

I am eating like a madman the last couple of days in fact I ate dinner and I am hungry again.

[Yeah, all that “chemotherapy” is giving you quite an appetite, Scamdy.]

for example tonight I had real turkey breast sliced on a tortilla with roasted red peppers lettuce and dijon mustard. It was yummmmmmy. For breakfast I had 9 grain bread with grits and 2 eggs.

[Don’t hold back. Pig out at your local buffet, Scamdy. After all it is well known that pancreatic cancer patients develop quite an appetite.]

Well Joan Krawitz is honorable and I think Ms Harris' troubles are just beginning. But I am not going to focus on her. My job right now is to get well...that is where my focus must and will be.

[Methinks YOUR troubles are just beginning, Scamdy. I am sure there will be an investigation into YOUR fraud. Your job right now is to use those enormous funds you scammed to hire a good defense attorney.]

Is it very nice to hear the good news! And I am glad it all worked out in terms of getting great treatment. You gave of yourself and that inspired others to take care of your best interest.

[The ease with which Scamdy conned the DUmmies out of $50,000 for pancreatic cancer operation at Johns Hopkins which NEVER took place will certainly inspire other con artists to enter DUmmieland.]

Hint from a recent surgery patient: Get a neosporin scar patch at the pharmacy. I had a hysterectomy last year and my scar is 100% gone! This is an amazing product.

[Don’t give Scamdy any ideas. He might end up hitting on the DUmmies for another $50,000 for a hysterectomy operation.]

Hey I have ICU and scar pics... I just don't want them posted on that website. you know the one I mean.

[DUmmie FUnnies or Scamdy.Com?]

Wow, Andy, it is TOO good to hear from you....And sounding so chipper, too!! Glad you are coming out of this. I knew you'd beat this thing.

[Careful…careful. It is okay to use the vague term “thing” but DON’T use the word “cancer” or it could mean your tombstoning.]

Andy, this is wonderful to hear! Nothing like being back at home too. Lots of rest now, heal up, and yep, be in the place where you'll be after the next phase of treatment.

[Scamdy’s next phase of treatment will be sun & sea therapy in the Caribbean.]

I have a couple of rounds of chemo and radiation to go through...but the doctor said I should be fine.

[Please send money for unnecessary chemo and radiation that needs to follow the non-existent pancreatic cancer operation.]

Good to see you back!! Now, close your eyes and visualize. a complete recovery and perfect health! I'm serious, it works

[It sure does. Obvious scams ALWAYS work in Dummieland.]

I have been doing that. I am using a screen nightly to screen all the bad stuff from my body. I know visualizations work...

[Scamdy is now in the process of visualizing another reality of a Dummieland scam.]

OK good night everyone...I am going to lay down and rest.

[Meanwhile, one the other side of the continent from Scamdy, Pied Piper Pitt is lying awake worrying about his defense plea when he is charged with aiding and abetting Scamdy.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andystephenson; dummies
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To: franksolich

please ping me!


621 posted on 06/11/2005 6:16:56 AM PDT by Amityschild (Catching up on the Andy thread!!!)
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To: MisterRepublican

I meant to include you in my post with thanks for your post about Pitt's Lament. I didn't bring the printed excerpts back with me so was glad to see what I was looking for in your post.

When Pitt is talking about getting "frightened PMs and e-mails" from reps of the websites that allowed Andy's personal fund-raiser on their sites, I don't think he means that the reps are frightened that they haven't raised enough money to save Andy.

So, what are they "frightened" of?


622 posted on 06/11/2005 6:20:47 AM PDT by Barset
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To: Amityschild

You know, madam, I worked last night--put 24 hours of accounting work into 8 hours--and a friend, and a friend of his, dropped by. I wasn't in the mood for company, but I'm a good sport anyway.

So the friend, the cop, had been chewing on the idea that this actually involves some sort of blackmail, while his friend, the tax-man, swore it seems like a "collection" to pay gambling or drug debts.

(This story has engrossed thousands living in a New Jersey-sized section of the state.)

Well, I am skeptical of the latter; the red round one is not a known drug-user (excepting an excess of adult beverages, which is not good for weight and diabetes), nor is the red round one a known gambler.

I don't know what to think; as you might imagine, there are all sorts of theories and guesses spinning around all over the internet--even if the DUmmie FUnnies, Scamdy, Free Republic, that other conservative web-site, and DUmmieland were to evaporate, well, this is just S-O-O-O all over the internet, it is not going to die, until its inevitable inexorable conclusion.

I really dislike intruding on P-J's turf, but I think there is a book in all this--the story is packed full of crime, passion, lust, mystery, drama, deceit, comedy; even show tunes and a radio show.

There is just so much here, it would make a 750-page book.

I wonder if the Max Amann of the Andyites might be interested in publishing the book.....


623 posted on 06/11/2005 6:33:08 AM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: MisterRepublican

You know, I had a dream the other night.

I dreamt that I met the erstwhile and much-maligned Bev Harris--not to give her money, because her cause and my cause are different (she likes machines, I like paper-and-pencil)--but just to give her a "howdy" and a couple dozen roses, and to get her autograph.

So she offered to take me to see something in Seattle; some great big huge building with thick walls. We stood on top of one wall, looking down at a bunch of ant-like creatures in striped black-and-white suits, each with a bowling-ball attached to one leg, and they all were hacking away at rocks.

She pointed out one to me, who had lost considerable weight.

So then we went out to dine, and I got Bev Harris a bottle of Chateau Rothschild 1928--an excellent year--while I myself simply settled for a bottle of St-Louis Beaujolais, that bitter red wine that tastes like the blood of one's enemies.

You know, I have no complaints; throughout my life, a lot of my dreams have come true.


624 posted on 06/11/2005 6:41:38 AM PDT by franksolich (wolkenkuckucksheim)
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To: All

Scamdy.com is back up! New homepage! Hehehe


625 posted on 06/11/2005 8:53:01 AM PDT by CaliGirl-R
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To: Duke Nukum

Why trembles honesty and like a murderer,
Why seeks he refuge from the frowns of his immortal station,
Must the generous tremble & leave his joy to the idle: to the pestilence!
That mock him? who commanded this, what God? what Angel!
To keep the gen'rous from experience till the ungenerous
Are unrestrained performers of the energies of nature;
Till pity is become a trade, and generosity a science,
That men get rich by, and the sandy desart is giv'n to the strong
--William Blake, America a Prophecy, plate 13

Great quote. It bears repeating!


626 posted on 06/11/2005 1:13:17 PM PDT by TenthAmendmentChampion (You should be TERRIfied that you may someday be SCHIAVOed to death!)
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To: SCALEMAN
'Andy's gonna die of pancreatic cander if we don't get him to John's Hopkins NOW...'

Ooooh nice pun.

627 posted on 06/11/2005 1:21:20 PM PDT by TenthAmendmentChampion (You should be TERRIfied that you may someday be SCHIAVOed to death!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
OMG!! Some people just SCREAM pretentious and Pitt is one of them!!!

NOTE Moderator, please delete photo if they put something else in its place or re-direct or remove if it's against the TOS. thank you.


628 posted on 06/11/2005 1:29:58 PM PDT by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Ha, I read that as Haliburton was the grand prize, LOL.


629 posted on 06/11/2005 1:31:14 PM PDT by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: Deetes

When I lived in Puerto Rico there was an Eskimo kid in my class. The kid was huge. He was about 6 feet tall in the seventh grade. I still remember his name. Fred Duncan. Kind of strange an Eskimo in Puerto Rico. What happened is that he was an orphan and an older white couple adopted him. I wonder what happened to Fred Duncan. Could he be back in Alaska?


630 posted on 06/11/2005 1:49:40 PM PDT by PJ-Comix ( Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
You all rock.

Lame DUmmies trying to sound HIP!

631 posted on 06/11/2005 8:32:37 PM PDT by Dr.Hilarious (If Al Qaeda took over the judiciary and mainstream media, would we know the difference?)
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To: PJ-Comix
A 6 foot tall 7th grade Eskimo . Hmmm. I guess he "got milk" ..... Don't know that name.

We drove up north today and Danali was (no cloud cover) right there. along with about 15 other mountains that sit right by it. 20,000 feet high.

632 posted on 06/12/2005 12:22:35 AM PDT by Deetes (God Bless the Troops)
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To: imskylark

Man, it is wild over in DU. Reminds me of the Jim Jones/ Jonestown thing. Those who refuse to drink the koolaid are shot/banished. Maybe we could call this SKonestown. Short for Skinner and Jonestown, and its obvious that Andy is very familar with scones.


633 posted on 06/12/2005 4:05:28 PM PDT by Cruzin2fold
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To: PJ-Comix

Andy Stevenson died last night. May God go with him.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x4046336


634 posted on 07/08/2005 2:01:10 AM PDT by commonsense04
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