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DUmmie FUnnies 06-01-05 (Scamdy Post-Hospital Thread On DUmmieland DELETED By Skinner!!!)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 1, 2005 | Andy Stephenson, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/01/2005 8:07:19 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

It’s Pied Piper Pitt’s WORST nightmare. Scamdy has left Johns Hopkins Hospital (according to Scamdy) and is now posting in DUmmieland as you can see (UPDATE: Thread ELIMINATED by Skinner) in this THREAD titled, “Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?” Actually, Scamdy, the only thing I really want to guess is why the April 27 FAX posted by your cheerleader Pitt as “proof” that you have pancreatic cancer was able to accurately predict back then that you would have surgery on the week of May 23 when it was ORIGINALLY scheduled for May 10. Perhaps Mrs. Harasaki is the one who sent the FAX and possesses some sort of psychic powers to look into the future since it wasn’t until almost two weeks AFTER the FAX was sent that your surgery was rescheduled to the week of May 23. However, welcome back Scamdy. Your recovery has been truly miraculous. In fact you were even able to make cell phone calls and sing Broadway show tunes from your ICU and even make a few posts on the Web even though Pitt has recently threatened to “smash you” if you make more posts in DUmmieland. UPDATE! UPDATE! UPDATE! Apparently Skinner is also quite FRIGHTENED by Scamdy’s appearance in Dummieland since he just tossed this whole thread down the Memory Pitt. Unfortunately for Skinner most of that thread has been PRESERVED here on the DUmmie FUnnies. As usual the jolly healthy Andy Stephenson posts are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering how many more of Scamdy’s posts will be tossed down the DUmmieland Memory Pitt, is in the [brackets]:

Anyone want to guess who the former Mrs. Harasaki is?

[The person who sent that Faux Fax that you suckered Pied Piper Pitt into posting on the Web as "proof” that you had pancreatic cancer?]

Guess why this is important and you win a big door prize. First right guess gets a cupie doll.

[That’s KEWPIE Doll and I award those to DUmmies who have a very brief moment of mental clarity. Such an award will be given to the first DUmmie to wonder how someone who supposedly had pancreatic cancer surgery has managed to remain as incredibly active as you have been, Scamdy.]

Andy ... how ARE you doing? Shouldn't you be resting?

[Resting? Hell no! Scamdy is feeling so chipper on the heels of his pancreatic cancer surgery that he is happily belting out Broadway show tunes on his cell phone from his ICU.]

Yeah Andy. How are you feeling these days?

[MUCH BETTER than Pied Piper Pitt. That’s for sure! Pitt has been spending all his time recently on his knees staring mesmerized at Scamdy’s zipper while waiting to be fed the latest bogus document that pops out of Scamdy’s toaster.]

Not feeling so great...

the incision will hurt for at least 4 weeks...then I get to have chemo and radiation. Fuuuun!

[The Fuuuun begins when you hit up DUmmieland again for money to pay for the chemo and radiation therapy.]

Who ta hell is Harasaki? Isn't it past your bedtime?

[Why should Scamdy hit the sack when he is so full of energy and other things?]

I am in too much pain to sleep. got out of the hospital today and the bed I am in is...well not as comfortable as the Hopkins bed was.

[Scamdy is not comfortable in his hotel bed. Please send money now for Scamdy to stay in a 5-Star hotel room.]

Got drugs?

[Better hope that Pied Piper Pitt doesn’t have drugs or we might have an OD case.]

yes but not as good as those delivered intravenously.

[Especially those drugs delivered via an intravenous rectal intrusion, Scamdy.]

Happy to see you in back in the game mode Andy!

[Just like he was back in ICU.]

I bet it was the surgeon, yes! and she was married to some other doctor but fell in love with Andy and got divorced and now she's the current Mrs. Andy Stephenson! And now that he's coming off the morphine he's thinking maybe he made a mistake.

[Yes, definitely a mistake. If Scamdy found himself married to Petra Verkaik he would also find himself in a state of deep revulsion. Now…if that fantasy included marriage to Pied Piper Pitt, that would be so much more romantic to Scamdy.]

God I hope not the former Mrs H is well lets just say not the marryin type. Her chidren have been known to desecrate church sancturaries.

[Which is worse: desecrating church sanctuaries or scamming people on the Web?]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; andystephenson; dummies; skinner; willpitt
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To: PJ-Comix

Peej, another fab edition of the DUFUs! More intriguing than a game of Twister!


901 posted on 06/02/2005 6:17:16 PM PDT by The Right Stuff
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To: PJ-Comix
Lauderdale. The Jerk Chicken I get tomorrow is near State Rd 7 and Pembroke. In an industrial park

If I ever make it back, I will try to look it up. Love jerk. Sometime I will relate a story about getting thrown out of a restaurant in Lauderdale.

902 posted on 06/02/2005 6:17:49 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN

Well Ladies and Gents, I think I will call it a night. Will check in in the a.m.


903 posted on 06/02/2005 6:19:11 PM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: The Right Stuff

The DUmmies are in for a HUGE SHOCK when they find out what they are up against in '08. BTW, my source was NOT Karl Rove but it was high up. (I assume Rove must know about this.)


904 posted on 06/02/2005 6:20:36 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
The DUmmies are in for a HUGE SHOCK when they find out what they are up against in '08. BTW, my source was NOT Karl Rove but it was high up. (I assume Rove must know about this.)

Dammit, PJ! You are worse than a Mexican Soap Opera! They are masters at ending the episode right when there is supposed to be a big relevation!
905 posted on 06/02/2005 6:48:00 PM PDT by speed_addiction (Somethings gnaw on a man worse'n dyin'.)
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To: Roscoe Karns
EEEEEEEUUUUUWWWWWWWWW! The DUmmies have invaded, the DUmmies have invaded! Where is my can of Raid!!!!
906 posted on 06/02/2005 6:50:19 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: PJ-Comix

Ooooooo--can hardly wait till you make your revelations, PJ! I eagerly await the *ping*! Nothing more fun than sending the DUmmies into a tizzy--not that it takes much. They're like baby chicks that scatter in all directions if you throw a small pebble into their midst!


907 posted on 06/02/2005 6:54:29 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: franksolich
Tremors in Dummieland; 5th Assistant Grand DUmmie "EarlG" unwittingly reveals there is in fact a feud going on in DUmmieland, between the currently-on-top Andyites and the currently-underdog authentic real legitimate DUmmies.

It is this that makes me think that the money involved amounts to WAY more than $50,000. Skinner is either being allowed to skim off of the top or he has gotten a kickback from the Andyites. He has basically been bought!
908 posted on 06/02/2005 6:56:07 PM PDT by speed_addiction (Somethings gnaw on a man worse'n dyin'.)
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To: ScubaGuy
Since it's a slow Andy day you may want to check this out to pass time and have a few laughs. Caution do not go to link on a full stomach.

There are only two women on the whole thread I would consider attractive. And this is only in a tuesday or wednesday night date way. I would not burn a friday or saturday on any of them. The one in the very first pic, though...I can only say poor, poor girl. What a woofer.
909 posted on 06/02/2005 6:58:52 PM PDT by speed_addiction (Somethings gnaw on a man worse'n dyin'.)
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To: franksolich

Ah, the Lizard of DUmmieoz is scurrying around behind the curtains. Their tiny little dramas we eagerly await! Maybe there will be a coup and the AUthentic DUmmies will conquer the DUmpster once more!


910 posted on 06/02/2005 6:59:09 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W
DUMMIE ALERT!


DUMMIE ALERT!


LATEST NUMBERS OUT ON THE DUMMIE FUNNIES!


EXCEED ALL EXPECTATIONS, ALL ESTIMATIONS!


MORE TRAFFIC ON DUMMIE FUNNIES THAN IN DUMMIELAND, IT SEEMS!


MARY MATALIN, PLEASE TAKE NOTE!


Image hosted by Photobucket.com


I'm giving you your own exclusive DUmmie Alert!, madam.

The numbers as of circa 8:30 p.m., Nebraska time, June 2, 2005:

views 218,160

comments 12,731

These are the numbers for the DUmmie FUnnies involving what the Grand DUmbo "Skinner" calls "the Andy situation"--beginning with "What didn't happen in Ohio" (and apparently not in Maryland either) up to the current edition.

These numbers do NOT include three editions that got lost in the rush, and hence with low view-counts and few comments--although there are comments about what the Grand DUmbo "Skinner" calls "the Andy situation" on them too.

In case anyone has forgotten those editions neglected in the mad haste to solve what the Grand DUmbo "Skinner" calls "the Andy situation," those included editions about Johns Edwards and Mary Jo Cahill, why the DUmmies don't hate Bush, and how Rove has failed the Republicans.

Excellent editions, these three lonely ones, but they got stampeded.

911 posted on 06/02/2005 7:00:29 PM PDT by franksolich (checking with Western Union)
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To: franksolich

Wow! I feel so priviledged having Fred all to myself! These three weeks have been a constant stampede and if Mary Matalin doesn't get a clue pretty soon, she is going to be soooooo sorry. Especially if this thing goes to trial and our mountains of saved evidence is called for!

You can just barely begin to hear the scurrying of little roach feet over there in the DUmpster as the rumble for power begins. They will have their wet noodles out ready to strike!

You need to start pinging Tony Snow--he is a FReeper AND he is a good friend of Mary! Would that help any?

Those three "lost" DUFU's were so neglected that I don't think I even got a chance to read them. Too....much....information around here! Thanks, Frank!


912 posted on 06/02/2005 7:10:12 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W

You like my subtle little touch about "Johns" Edwards?

That was on purpose, by the way.

I was hoping someone would notice it.....


913 posted on 06/02/2005 7:11:27 PM PDT by franksolich (checking with Western Union)
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To: Chappaquiddick Crawdad


The AndyScam--("The Candy Man")

Who can make some dough-rise?
All he needs is you
Blinded by your hatred and
Your lack of judgment too
The AndyScam...
The AndyScam can
The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)

Who can take compassion?
Wrap it in a lie
Oh, those checks were deposited
Now where's that Termite guy?
The AndyScam...
The AndyScam can
The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)

The AndyScam makes the schemes he bakes
Appear on the up-and-uppy
Don’t listen to that Freeper yuppie
Here’s a pic of my new puppy!

So, it's way past tomorrow
No evidence have I seen
But the DUmmies won't believe me
Until their bank accounts are clean
The AndyScam...
The Andyscam can
The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)

The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good....


Scamming Queen--("Dancing Queen")




You can scam, you can jive
Weaving the lie of your life
See that boy, watch your green
Diggin’ the Scamming Queen

Friday morn’ and the funds are low
Searching round for a place to go
A looney-moonbat website, believing anything
You come in and look for bling

Not anybody could be that guy
Only a DUmmie could believe the lie
”Help me fight the system”, they’ll never question why…
You’re in the mood for a scam
And when it’s time to jam

You are the Scamming Queen, pale and fat, smell like Vaseline
Scamming Queen, thinks he can fool Pajama-hadeen, oh yeah!

You can scam, you can jive
Weaving the lie of your life
See that boy, watch your green
Diggin’ the Scamming Queen

You’re a schemer - sympathy you play on
Leave them busted, and then you’re gone
Looking out for another, to clean the puppy-poo
You’re in the mood for a scam
But now you’re on the lam…

You are the Scamming Queen, pale and fat, smell like Vaseline
Scamming Queen, thinks he can fool Pajama-hadeen, oh yeah!

You can scam, you can jive
Weaving the lie of your life
See that boy, watch your green
Diggin’ the Scamming Queen
914 posted on 06/02/2005 7:13:00 PM PDT by motzman (now whatda?)
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To: franksolich

Veeeerrrryy subtle Frank! I would like to say I did notice...........

But very funny!


915 posted on 06/02/2005 7:13:51 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: beandog
Try the 694-494 around the Cities...never seen a time there wasn't road construction...
916 posted on 06/02/2005 7:14:45 PM PDT by ReeWalker (Life isn't fair...GET USED TO IT!!!)
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To: CaliGirl-R

To the tune of “The Candy Man”….

“The AndyScam”

Who can make some dough-rise?
All he needs is you
Blinded by your hatred and
Your lack of judgement too
The AndyScam
The AndyScam can
The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)

Who can take compassion?
Wrap it in a lie
Those checks were not deposited
But don’t you wonder why
The AndyScam
The AndyScam can
The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)

The AndyScam makes the schemes he bakes
Appear on the up-and-uppy
Don’t listen to that Freeper yuppie
Here’s a pic of my new puppy!

So, we’ll be here tomorrow
Who could miss the scene?
Monitor the sorrow
And watch the DUmmies scream
The AndyScam
The Andyscam can
The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)

The AndyScam can
Cause a tumor could be cancer
If the money’s good
(If the money’s good)


917 posted on 06/02/2005 7:20:22 PM PDT by ReeWalker (Life isn't fair...GET USED TO IT!!!)
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To: speed_addiction

Speed,

I do believe your the kinda guy my mother warned me about!/sarcasm

Cindie


918 posted on 06/02/2005 8:14:15 PM PDT by gardencatz (A brass unicorn...has...catapulted across a...street and impaled an eminent surgeon. Words fail me!)
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To: ReeWalker
Where did everybody go?

Hello?.......Hello?

said in my best uncle teddy voice

919 posted on 06/02/2005 8:14:58 PM PDT by CAluvdubya (You don't have to bother with me....I'm NON-RELEVANT!)
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To: CAluvdubya

I don't have a clue....I'm wired up bad tonite......


920 posted on 06/02/2005 8:16:31 PM PDT by ReeWalker (Life isn't fair...GET USED TO IT!!!)
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