Posted on 03/09/2005 11:46:07 AM PST by Chris Haire
The case against Jackson Browne's inclusion in the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame
I have just bitten off the head of Jackson Browne. I chewed until I was done, and then I spit him out. “Running on Empty”? Why, I'm running on bile.
If I could ever get my hands on the real Jackson Browne, not the measly photograph of the sensitive singer-songwriter I now hold, I'd make sure he paid for all of the ill he has brought to the world. His body needs to be strung up by guitar strings and hung on the front gates of Graceland, where a vengeful public can toss scalding deep-fat-fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches at his body.
I acknowledge this. You acknowledge this. The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame does not. They choose to honor him. They choose to accept him with open arms, the same way they have treated the Beatles, Dylan and Hendrix. But Jackson Browne is not rock & roll. He is a man whose music is so tame that it isn't fit for the dining room at the Early Bird Buffet, or even Laurence Welk's soap-bubble-filled pastel blue coffin. And yet somehow the Hall has accepted him.
This week the Hall will open its doors to another batch of artists: U2, Percy Sledge, the O'Jays, Buddy Guy and the Pretenders. Each year a new batch is admitted, but one thing remains the same: Black Sabbath isn't among them.
(Excerpt) Read more at freetheseed.com ...
Sabbath isn't in the Hall?! More proof the Hall is useless junk. Most of my taste in music spawns from Black Sabbath.
I agree, he should not be even considered, let alone inducted.
Jackson Browne is a friggin' limpwristed tool.
....lotta good tunes, for sure.
And a ground breaking sound that's still borrowed from today. Any time a band kicks out a guitar line that sounds like a funeral dirge they should write a thank you note to Tony Iommi. And Sabbath and BOC pretty much invented the sub-genre of fantasy metal.
" "War Pigs,"
If you played that now, you'd probably get called an anti-patriot, terrorist-lover.
Even though you're right - Sabbath was awesome.
If that's true, they might as well name Jackson Browne the Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of Rock and Roll for all I care.
True enough.
At this rate being inducted into R&R HOF will soon be be like winning the Nobel Peace Prize -- an insult.
Exactly, maybe they should make an alternate HOF for the real musicians. As always Steely Dan put it best in their 2000 form letter:
We have just received word and wish to acknowledge that we have been [chosen/again passed over] for membership in the internationally renowned Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It is indeed a [great honor/great honor] to even be considered and short-listed for this prestigious award and we stand prepared to [join/be blackballed from] the august company that comprises the inductees of the Hall of Fame, including but not limited to Eric Clapton, James Taylor, Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Bonnie Raitt, Paul McCartney, and the Yardbirds including Eric Clapton.
As you may be aware, we are in the midst of a [spectacular comeback year/demeaning sequel to an otherwise perfectly serviceable career] which has already been acknowledged and honored in a profound and moving way - and [induction into the Hall/having been nominated, considered and ultimately rejected by you guys again] is certainly the icing on the cake for us.
Rest assured that we will be celebrating this momentous occasion by [lollygagging at our ranch with a dog named "Spot" and a boil on our face/skulking out to Starbuck's for a double decaf latte and a pistachio cone]. Of course we shall stand ready to [participate in/boycott] the festive induction ceremony at the pleasure of our fans, to whom we owe everything and whom we have vowed never to disappoint, [ever/or as infrequently as possible]. We shall be [wintering/falling back to lick our wounds] in Hawaii starting any day now, so please let us know as soon as possible [where we can pick up our trophies/that we should go fuck ourselves] and what, if anything, we should wear. Mahalo and aloha nui loha
Truer words have not been spoken. The hardest rock band in yet is AC/DC, and it took them too long. Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin are the only others, if you can count them. Ozzy Osbourne, Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler, and may I add Ronnie James Dio? Gods amongst mortals.
Jackson Browne is no more significant than the lines of ants Ozzy sniffed up his nose, ala a line of coke, whilst he was trying to gross out/impress Motley Crue.
I forgot Bill Ward!!!!! Damn my blind eyes!
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