Yeah, right. Good luck with that.
Posted on 12/14/2004 6:44:07 PM PST by PJ-Comix
The DUmmies have watched too many episodes of Gunsmoke. They are now planning on forming up a posse and arresting Ohio Secretary of State, Ken Blackwell, as you can see on this DUmmie THREAD titled, “Here is a specific Ohio law Blackwell violated--I need help getting arrest.” Yeah, DUmmies, you just try to arrest Blackwell. Somehow I don’t think he will just stand idly by as you try to cuff him. Most likely he will grab you by your collars and slap you upside your heads so hard that you will be spending the next few weeks envisioning your own reality of a long hospital stay…except when you wake up you will find out you really are in the hospital. Anyway, if for some reason, Bush has a hard time finding another director of Homeland Security, may I humbly place the name of Ken Blackwell forward? He would be PERFECT for the job. Somebody who won’t take crap from the terrorists nor the DUmmies (often interchangeable). As usual the rantings of the DUmmie Posse are in Bolshevik Red while the arresting commentary of your humble sheriff is in the [brackets]:
"Blackwell decided to stop the legal recount being conducted in Greene County Ohio, in mid-count. When the volunteers asked under what authority they were being stopped they were told that Ken Blackwell had determined that “all voter records for the state of Ohio were “locked-down,” and now they are not considered public records.”
So, now that we have the specific crime Blackwell committed, what do we do to get a DA to file charges?
[You might start by smoking less powerful opiates.]
Preferably find a friendly lawyer and talk to the local DA...
[You will find Mark Geragos to be quite friendly and in need of employment. You can contact him at snottyscotty@deathrow.com.]
Round up about 100 or so willing people to help perform a citizen's arrest. Warn the police and DA that if they don't act to arrest Blackwell, then your posse will. Don't give them a chance to respond, just inform them. Then go do it. They'll have him arrested lickety-split in order to avoid a confrontation.
[Don’t forget to wear your Deputy Dawg cowboy outfits when joining the posse. And don’t be surprised if YOU are arrested lickety-split for those illegal green leaves in your pockets.]
And record it all on video for posterity's sake including the phone calls, preparation, everything.
[And have Bev Harris on hand to film it for that documentary she’s not making.]
This is a perfect stunt for Michael Moore to take on...Let's contact him and ask him to do it!
[You’ll make Bev Harris very angry. She has first dibs to film it for that documentary she’s not making.]
the part where you're all getting billy-clubbed,maced,tasered,rubber-bulleted,and stomped by black-outfitted and masked stormtrooper types will make a hell of a segment in a Michael Moore flick.
[Also for America’s Funniest Home Videos.]
I am not sure how Ohio law works, so hopefully there are some lawyers here that could provide feedback (I've never had to file charges through the DA's office either--anybody know if it is hard?) Thanks again for everybody's input into this--I am thinking we should try to get in contact with the volunteers in Greene County and see if they are willing to file a complaint with the DA (anybody know if this sounds reasonable?)
[It sounds very very reasonable. Now speak some more. This therapy session is still far from over.]
What if they don't do it? Then what are you going to do after you "arrest" him?
[Nurse the bruises on your cheeks where your faces “accidentally” smacked up against Blackwell’s hand.]
The line between "posse" and "mob" is precariously thin. I imagine to the Ohio government that it is nonexistent. If you're lucky, they'll tell you to f*ck off and go home. If you're unlucky, then the Ohio NG will be called out to "disperse the mob." I trust the pecadillos of the Ohio national guard need no elaboration.
[Wrong. If you are unlucky, Ken Blackwell will shove your arrest warrant so far up your body cavity that you will be singing alto permanently.]
I would much prefer if John Kerry would step in make the arrest.
[That would happen only if Teresa gives him permission to remove his cojones from her wall lockbox.]
Freepers have gotten to your petition! Every signature on it is from a FREEPER! G-d I HATE those people! With every fiber of my being, I hate those people..
[Your hate against the Freepers will turn to uncontrollable rage once you read the latest edition of the DUmmie Funnies…. And may I add you to the DUFU PING List?]
I signed that petition. How do you know they are all freepers?
[Because most likely at least 90% of all DUmmies are secretly Freeper Trolls. And how do I know that YOU are not a Freeper?]
Here's a small sample. This morning there was 55 sigs and most were like these. I removed names that seem to be legitimate.
Name City, State
33. Mark Johnson - I post at DUmmieUnderground. I am not real bright. 32. Tiffany Sledzianowski - I post at DUmmieUnderground. I am not real bright. Please save the DUmbocracy. democraticunderground.com
31. Joshua L. Bessom - I post at DUmmieUnderground. I am not real bright. Please save the DUmbocracy. democraticunderground.com
27. berni_mccoy - I post at DUmmieUnderground. I am not real bright. Please save the DUmbocracy. democraticunderground.com
26. I voted! Where is my vote? I wrote in Pat Buchanan and this does not match the official totals. One chance in two billion of that happening! democraticunderground.com
25. uninformed republican fool trying to obscure the truth fact vs faith
24. Save the DUmbocracy!!!!!! democraticunderground.com
21. Arneback - The case is breaking wide open. I talked to the Ohio Chief Justice. He laughed and then presided over the casting of Ohio's electoral votes. Why did he laugh???? democraticunderground.com
19. Jesse Jackson Please donate to Rainbow?PUSH. My illigitimate children need shoes bad! democraticunderground.com
18. Send your money to Cobb. He reaaly needs it. Use your credit card and go into dept. It is WORTH it! democraticunderground.com
16. Donate to Nader. He needs our money bad! democraticunderground.com
15. DUmmieUnderground.com Help us vote! We do not understand how! I am still in line in Dayto Ohio. Kenneth Blacwell ate my baby! Confusion
13. Bev Harris Donate to me at BigMacVoting.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BigMacVoting.com
11. Admin@democraticunderground.com (Donate to DUmmieUnderground.com) Please, helpme. I am still in line waiting to cast my balot. DUmmieunderland.com
10. Skinner (Donate to DUmmieUnderground.com) Please, I am broke and my childeen are hungry. DUmmieunderland.com
[Hmmm…. I see your point but I think this one sounds legit: “Tiffany Sledzianowski - I post at DUmmieUnderground. I am not real bright. Please save the DUmbocracy. democraticunderground.com.”]
You are correct--how can we screen out the freeperpeepers?
[How do you know that Skinner isn’t really a Freeper? Only IndianaGreen is legit. You can trust him. Absolutely. IndianaGreen is definitely NOT a deep cover Freeper troll. (hee! hee!)]
Jesus H. Christ! Did you see what the freepers did to that petition?
[As God is my witness, as God is my witness, I’m not going to sign another DUmmie petition again! I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never sign one again! No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill! As God is my witness, I'll never sign a DUmmie petition again!]
If we are afraid to act, we are being ruled by fear. The only way this ends possitively is for some to overcome their fears.
[But what if you are ruled by ridicule?]
From what I have been reading, it is probably best to go to the DA's office first and try to file charges. I am not sure how that process works in Ohio, so maybe if we have any lawyers that are reading you could help? Somebody said that freeperpeepers were signing the above petition? Do you think that if you bring a signed petition to DA's office it might motivate them to want to take action?
[If you bring that petition signed by “freeperpeepers,” the folks in the DA’s office most likely will laugh their asses off.]
I signed petition and I Am NOT A FREEPER. By the way, this is the first time I've posted...I signed the petition and I am not a freeper,,,I just want justice.
[I signed the petition and I Am NOT A FREEPER!!! (snort! chuckle!)]
F*CK THE SUIT! He is a criminal!! He needs to be jailed!
[But you’re just gonna let someone ELSE try to jail him, hotshot.]
About the petition--it has some facts wrong. I sent the petition over to my friend for analysis. Here is what she says:
"The petition gets a lot wrong. For instance, the Greene County recount had not begun when this occurred. They were doing research for the recount, which is another thing entirely, and which blows the whole petition out of the water as a result. I wouldn't recommend circulating the petition, as the only real use of something like this is as a PR ploy, and that will backfire because of the misinformation involved. No, the DA's office wouldn't be motivated by a petition like this."
[BANG!!! Yet another Acme Co. package blows up in the DUmmie Coyote’s face while the Blackwell Road Runner zooms untouched off into the distance. BEEP! BEEP!]
Here's the catch: the records were being examined by Green volunteers while the law requires a DEMOCRAT and a REPUBLICAN both to be present during the recont examinations. Since there were none present only the Greens, they decided to take the records away.
[BEEP! BEEP!]
Not taking credit for 278? LOL
Is she related to Anita Gethoff?
Castro just signed
Algore just signed...
Oh!... This is so much fun... I've got to get more creative!
No, but I did take a moment to giggle.
Signed it FReepers R. Yournightmare.
Rushisright@hotmail.com
What morons.
278: Anita Di*k - I really do ,CALL ME
LOL!!!! It's like reading the men's room wall!
Much like the DUmpster itself.
Bloody peasant...
This one needs to be on the Greatest Hits compilation. Best one yet.
You must be the king...you aven't got $#!t all over you.
I second your Schadenfreude!! ;) Bwwaaaaahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
And, by some odd coincidence, Yassir Arafat signed just before Yasser Arafat signed.
the part where you're all getting billy-clubbed,maced,tasered,rubber-bulleted,and stomped by black-outfitted and masked stormtrooper types will make a hell of a segment in a Michael Moore flick.
[Also for America’s Funniest Home Videos.]
Too funny. Just too funny. Keep up the good work.
Yeah, right. Good luck with that.
| Name | City, State | |||||
| 343. | Yasser Arafat | So I'm dead... WHO CARES!!! Us DUmmies can vote when dead. It happens all the time. We vote in more than one state too. Why is it so dark and cramped in here??? And why is my heart not beating??? | ||||
| 342. | Yassir Arafat | Land O' Milk and Honey, Middle East | ||||
| 341. | Harry Palms | |||||
| 340. | Mr. Whipple | Please stop squeezing the electoral college! | ||||
| 339. | Dick Hurtz | It really does!!! I'm not kidding!!! Anyone have antiseptic? I live at the DemocraticUnderground (this is why it hurts). That's all we do there... DUmmies FOREVER!!! Beat, beat, beat... | ||||
| 338. | Nestle Quick Bunny | I'll be at the next protest with lots of chocolate syrup. Make sure you DUmmies bring the milk! | ||||
| 337. | Ted Kennedy | Where's my drink. | ||||
| 336. | Tinky Winky | Falwell was right, I am a little light in the loafers. | ||||
| 335. | Bob Dobbs | Columbus, OH -- Jeez, we in Ohio voted against Kerry so you DU, MoveOn people would get the hell out. So do it! | ||||
| 334. | Sandi Burglar | Is That a Document in my Shorts???? | ||||
| 333. | Arrest Mr. Blackwell! | even though we ain't got sh*t, and frankly we ain't got no brains either. But we ain't happy 'bout this election, so go on now, arrest dat man! | ||||
| 332. | Single Cell Amoeba | Progressive DU member | ||||
| 331. | FReepers R. Incontrol---RESISTANCE is FUTILE | |||||
| 330. | Liza Minnelli | I'll join your posse and I have a sweet uppercut too | ||||
| 329. | Jimmy Hoffa | fifty Yard line, Giants Stadium (East Rutherford, NJ) | ||||
| 328. | Hillary Clinton's Feminity | whereabouts unknown | ||||
| 327. | Rosy Palm | Got lube? | ||||
| 326. | Yeast Infection | The folds of Maureen Dowd's naughty bits. | ||||
| 325. | Fidel Castro | Why doesn't Carter call anymore? | ||||
| 324. | Massive Cock | dummyland, DU | ||||
| 323. | Jimmy Hendrix | A friend with weed is a friend indeed | ||||
| 322. | Alberto Georgio Geaore - I HATE GEORGE BUSH!!!! I gained 90 pounds becaue he beat me in 2000... no, wait... I'm not really Algore in case Tipper is reading this. I'm Alfred Goretag. Yeah.. that's it. And I post to DUmmie land all the time. | Hooterville, MO | ||||
| 321. | Freepers R. Yournightmare | |||||
| 320. | I'm Barbara Streisand - I've got a big nose | CA | ||||
| 319. | Spade Cooley | Jimmy Hoffa isn't at Giants Stadium, he's buried under Tammy Baker's makeup | ||||
| 318. | Gerry Nadler | I don't care about this election fraud crap. I just need to know where to get a good Cheeseburger. | ||||
| 317. | Scott Shuster | |||||
| 316. | Skinner is a girly man ("I'm Skinner and I approve this message)") | DUland, OH | ||||
| 315. | DUmmie R Dirt. They are some inanely stupid that they feel that all of the rest of the world is as stupid as they are. FREEPERS RULE, MOONBATS! GEORGE IS THE PREZ! | Washington, DC | ||||
| 314. | Skinner from Democratic Underground - Bush is chimp and I'm a prick | OH | ||||
| 313. | Rove K. Karl | Lawrence, KS | ||||
| 312. | My God, I'm fat - Mikey Moore | MI | ||||
| 311. | I'm a gigantically fat Mike Moore | MI | ||||
| 310. | Germany and Russia are better than us :-( DUmmies!!!!!!!!!!!! Save the DUmbocracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | DUmmieWonderLand.com!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||||
| 309. | Mikey Moore | MI | ||||
| 308. | M I Arse | You pathetic dummies don't even make a pimple on a FReepers arse. | ||||
| 307. | Art Bell | |||||
| 306. | Charles Q. Farley | Dummyland, DU | ||||
| 305. | Inneed O Education | The demands in this petition are not legal. Being the intelligent, omniscient beings that you would have everyone believe you to be, you sure are *leans into mic* STUPID. lolololololol | ||||
| 304. | Jimmy Hoffa | fifty Yard line, Giants Stadium (East Rutherford, NJ) | ||||
| 303. | James T. Kirk | Starbase12, Alpha Centuri | ||||
| 302. | DiabolicalDieboldHalliburtonRoveMachine | |||||
| 301. | Carl H Griffin | |||||
| 300. | Michael Moore | Dummyland, DU | ||||
| 299. | DU Stinky---DU'ers do not have the ability to clean themselves or wipe their asses | Loserville Insane asylum, CA | ||||
| 298. | Jimmie Ray Valentine | Dummyland, DU | ||||
| 297. | They're Coming To Take Me Away | HeeHeeHoHoHaaHaa | ||||
| 296. | Ima Schlemiel | EMERGENCY... Fund Bev's crack investigations before we run out of time. My next donation will be in the mail on the first. | ||||
| 295. | DUmmies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DUmmieWonderland.com!!!!!!!!!!! | I post at DUmmieUnderground. I am not real bright. Please save the DUmbocracy. DUUUmmies!!!!!!!!!!!! Can we arrest Bush??? I think so. Didn't they arrest Nixon??? I do not know. Born in 1990. Is the Campaign | ||||
| 294. | FREEPERS FOREVER | FREEPERS OWN YOU! You are little rodents that live in basements. Where did you get the money to donate to the Billionaire Kerry. How funny is that... you are eating Ramen noodles and he's flying around in his jets. AND YOU GAVE HIM $$$$. You make me LAUGH! | ||||
| 293. | Mental Breakdown | I demand my constutional right to commit fraud and steal this election. You conservatives are violating MY RIGHTS! AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH | ||||
|
||||||
LOL!
345. Pinot Moore, Seattle Washington.
Tee hee.
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