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DUmmie FUnnies 11-05-04 ("We must not hate ordinary god-fearing midwestern folk")
Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | November 5, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 11/05/2004 3:20:24 PM PST by PJ-Comix

In this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies we can see that the DUmmies and their Democrat cohorts have learned NOTHING about winning future elections. Yes, DUmmie Zuni starts out on a semi-high note appealing for understanding (actually fooling) Midwestern conservatives so as to include them in the Democrat agenda and vote total. However, the DUmmies quickly reveal their true feelings underneath that mask of “understanding” that Zuni proposes. This THREAD is yet another good reason to read the DUmmie forum (and the Dummie FUnnies) avidly for the DUmmies quickly reveal what they REALLY think beneath the phony public mask such as the one proposed by Zuni. As usual, the DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the sage commentary of your humble correspondent is in the [brackets]:

We must not hate ordinary god-fearing midwestern folk just because many of them voted for the wrong man. It is this writing off of them as unsophisticated rubes that allows the GOP to pick up their votes. These people might not be social liberals and might even trust Bush (he does try to act like one of them), but they have human blood and human concerns. If you appeal to them right and present things in the right way, they will understand why we can do more for them than the GOP can. The GOP doesn't help them. But the GOP doesn't look down on them because they have a more traditional attitude. In fact, they exploit it for their agenda.

[Thus spaketh a condescending Zuni as he asks his fellow Dummies to try to appeal to fool midwestern Red State conservatives so the Democrats can finally win some elections. It’s a cynical ploy but at least it does have a faint hint of practicality to it. Unfortunately, Zuni’s fellow DUmmies are so angry about the elections results that they are unable to even put on a fake mask. Observe…]

I'll hate anyone I goddamned please adn religious wack jobs, gun nuts and fascists are at the top of the list.

[You left out Nascar-lovin’, beer-guzzlin’, pickup truck-drivin’ rednecks. But I forgive your oversight.]

F*ck those shitheads. Pull your head out of your ass. These guys hate us. They HATE us. They want to drive us into the sea, and you want us to just give them a break?! F*ck that. And I'm from the Midwest. I know exactly what I'm talking about.

[Go Ahead and Hate your Neighbor,
Go Ahead and Hate your Friend,
Do it in the Name of Heaven,
You can Justify it in the End.]

i have three in my family, mother, father, and especially my brother. i KNOW how these f*ckers think. i love them, but they are now the enemy of democracy

[Is this what is known as a love/hate relationship?]

I live on the west coast. Most of us look at the world differently than land locked Americans do--I imagine many East Coasters do too. Perhaps that is due to the huge diversity of immigrants much earlier on in our history (at both coasts) than what the midwest is only now experiencing?

[Pathetic, knuckle-dragging, ignorant land-locked Americans lacking the huge diversity of immigrants available to us wonderful enlightened souls living on the coasts. But maybe we can fool those flyover country folks just enough to at least WIN one teeny weeny election.]

I dislike them to the extreme because they refuse to listen to reason. If they were truly "God fearing", they would have realized what an evil administration this is. That's about it. They deserve the "hell" that's about to come down upon us. I'm just sorry my kids have to suffer along with the losers.

[Why, oh why, can’t those land-locked fools simply listen to us enlightened people on the coasts? Maybe we should invite them to a few white wine and cheese parties so we can make them realize just how ignorant they are.]

Dude....I don't give a shit anymore. They are dumbass rubes and no amount of sugar coat can change that. I don't want their f*cking vote. I want them to get exactly what they asked for - because this country is headed for rock-bottom and nothing is going to change until we get there. When people will vote for the worst president in history and give him a decisive victory, what am I supposed to do about it? I'm tired of worrying about the idiots in this country. Let them trash SS, let them have perpetual war, let them have their ridiculous false sense of security that Bush** can prevent another terrorist attack. F*ck them all.

[Whew! For a moment there I thought some of you would fall for Zunis’ proposal of even attempting to work with the ignorant Red Staters so as to fool them into voting for Democrats. Thank you for disabusing me of that silly notion.]

Well, wasn't this yesterday's talking point?

[Yes, I did hear a lot of this yesterday. The premise was that the Democrats had to pretend to understand the concerns of ignorant Red Staters so as to fool them into voting correctly in the future. But please continue…]

We "insulted" the folks so they didn't vote? Screw that. Let me say this as plainly as I can:

[Stand by, folks. Antigone382 is about to let loose with a big blast of bile…]

ANYONE who voted for * is 1) a MORAN! 2) a greedy, bloodthirsty elitist ( just like Jeebus told them to be) and C) the enemy of this nation, her Constitution, and her people who wish to be truly free.

[Don’t stop now, Antigone382. You’re on a ROLL!!!]

If they don't like it, screw them. This is not GOP lite. This is the party of thinkers.

[A party of deep thinkers just like you, Antigone382. GIVE US MORE!]

* won because THEY CHEATED. and the f*cking retards in the midwest and South LET THEM DO IT !!!!!!!F*CK YOU SOUTH> F*CK YOU MIDWEST>

[I’m about to reach DUmmie CLIMAX!!!]

Most especially F*CK YOU GEoRGE BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[YES! YES! THAT FEELS GOOD! Was it also good for you, Antigone382? And do you have a cigarette?]

Praising the lord in churches apparently, and preaching against certain groups of people and seeking to reduce women to handmaids for Christ and their husbands. So we should be more like them because that is what it takes to win an election. Uh huh--I got it now.

[By George, she's got it!
Now, once again, where does it rain?
On the plain! On the plain!]

Sorry I can't be nice to them. Let them rot in their "nice" churches and praise the lord for all the deaths that are to occur and al the injustice that is being meted out in Iraq. Let them continue to praise the lord for death and destruction, for people who will suffer for lack of jobs and for lack of health care. Let them praise the lord for their continued "safety"--hell, there is nothing there that any terrorist would target after all. It is the commies on the coast that will be attacked and that of course, should it happen again, will\ be the lord's justice. I travel around a lot. At one time it was my goal to visit every state in my country to enjoy the people living in each state and meet them up close and personal. I will never spend another penny in any god fearing red state. I am ashamed of my fellow Americans using the lord to vote in a man who claims to be a god practically, while destroying my country. They are stupid, ignorant and prone to be blind followers of an evil man because god speaks to him and god put him in office.

[The Red States Motel Six chain sincerely regrets the loss of your patronage.]

I like the idea above of exacting tax justice on the red states. They are willing to gut every safety net, every step toward justice, equality, fairness, humanity for goddess sake, to keep same sex couples out of the same bed and enforce childbearing, then let them live in the world they choose. Let them starve when they are out of work. Let them sleep in the streets when their farms are forclosed. Maybe then they'll decide that economic justice is more important then who loves whom.

[I like the idea of sowing the Red State soil with salt so they will be unable to grow crops and will starve. Then spread radioactive waste on their lands so those states will be uninhabitable for the next 30,000 years. That will teach them to vote the wrong way in an election. YEAH!]

F*ck everyone who voted for Bush. I hope every calamity known to man hits them.

[Including having to listen to Bruce Springsteen albums for all eternity.]

Why aren't we able to DEMAND that they respect our version of morality? TWO percent more republican votes than Democrat's votes recorded in ONE state isn't a referendum on values in America.

[We DEMAND that those ignorant rubes respect us and know that we are not condescending elitists!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; redstates
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To: txradioguy
No foreign policy or national security has gotten into the top four issues in the last three elections.

Thanks to Ronald Reagan winning the cold war.
101 posted on 11/06/2004 3:29:12 AM PST by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Count Petofi will not be denied!)
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To: SpookBrat
Call me a goody-goody, but their profanity is just awful.

It is amazing that given their superior intelligence and cultural sophistication, their vocabulary is so limited.

102 posted on 11/06/2004 5:37:43 AM PST by GraceCoolidge
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To: Ostlandr
" Why aren't we able to DEMAND that they respect our version of morality?"

I think what it boils down to is these constant whines to "respect" their lifestyle are disingenuous. I have no problem tolerating most lifestyle choices (I draw the line at "respecting" the right to murder unborn babies, however, and some other issues). But for the most part, the left doesn't want us to tolerate them. They want our "respect" (which I don't owe anyone), or they want us to "celebrate" their "diversity" (i.e., gay education in schools or whatever) and they want us to finance it (tax hikes for their dimwitted social programs). Funny, though, how they can't stand to "respect" our electoral results! As for these posts, if one tried reading them and substituting African-American for "midwesterner" or "Jewish" for "God fearing" (or whatever term they use for believers).... it is quite clear how tolerant they are, isn't it?

103 posted on 11/06/2004 5:54:09 AM PST by GraceCoolidge
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To: PJ-Comix

LOL...every Democrat everywhere has been blaming this election loss on Evangelical Christians....lol.....they need to look in the mirror and figure out why they lost.


104 posted on 11/06/2004 8:24:12 AM PST by Blue Scourge (Off I go into the Wild Blue Yonder...)
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To: PJ-Comix

Please add my name to your PING list!


105 posted on 11/06/2004 8:27:49 AM PST by Tom602 (I used to suffer from DIPS!! Democrat Induced Profanity Syndrome. Now I just smile... :^D)
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To: cmsgop

I checked out the thread you indicated at DU. Those people are deranged. And as always they can conjure up hatred of everyone except Muslim terrorist animals. They'll piss into the open graves of men killed in combat but give themselves screen names like "Ilikenicepeople". Hypocrites.


106 posted on 11/06/2004 10:21:11 AM PST by MadAnthony (Wile E Coyote: The new symbol of the Democratic Party)
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To: All

DU- where TRUE ignorance abounds.


107 posted on 11/06/2004 12:46:23 PM PST by 383rr (Those who choose security over liberty deserve neither-)
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To: daguberment
PJ - You bring a sociologist's perspective to this bizarre segment of our country's subculture. Better still, a sociologist with a sense of humor.

I consider the DUmmies to be like my personal ant farm. Everyday I look into the Dummie Ant Farm and am never disappointed in the Laugh Dept.. DUmmie Ant Farm culture is my hobby.

108 posted on 11/06/2004 1:24:05 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: KSCITYBOY
PJ = Every man woman and child in this country should read this stuff. The dems would be lucky to garner 1% of the vote.

That is WHY I want the DUmmie FUnnies to be published in book form complete with related comix stories and illustrations. I KNOW such a book would be a big hit especially with college students. The DUmmies and their liberal cohorts would become the laughingstock of the country. As an example of some of the stuff that I would also like to do in comix form in a DUmmie FUnnies stuff (along with the text you read already in the DUmmie FUnnies) would be something inspired by the following DUmmie quote:

ANYONE who voted for * is 1) a MORAN! 2) a greedy, bloodthirsty elitist ( just like Jeebus told them to be) and C) the enemy of this nation, her Constitution, and her people who wish to be truly free.

Okay, I would then do a comix story from the DUmmie point of view called "Johnny Reb and Jeebus" where a Redneck and "Jeebus" (white robe and sandals) ride around in a pickup truck (and gun rack) deep inside a red state wasting suspected "libruls." A comix story like that would illustrate the absurdity of the DUmmie view of Red State folks by highlighting it.

109 posted on 11/06/2004 1:34:45 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: rocky88
Or PJ-Comix could publish this in a book!!!!

As long as it is NOT out of my pocket. I already went the self-publishing route. An EXPENSIVE proposition. Even more so in this case because I want a lot of the comix stories accompanying the text to be in color. I need an established publishing house for this stuff.

110 posted on 11/06/2004 1:37:18 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: jenidelight
PJ - You have to get this published before the next election.

I would love to see it in print before a year is up. BTW, have you noticed how after every presidential election a spate of books are published about the election that are mostly UNREAD ("Making of a President," 1960, a notable exception)? A DUmmie FUnnies book would be read by MILLIONS who would never touch a political book. Yeah, the "professional" political book authors would probably hate it but I don't give a crap. A DUmmie FUnnies book with WILD comix stories and illustrations would break the mold of such books because it would be a FUN read.

111 posted on 11/06/2004 1:41:47 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
We DEMAND that those ignorant rubes respect us and know that we are not condescending elitists!

I love the smell of DUmmies irony on a Saturday evening. You can't make up stuff that good.

112 posted on 11/06/2004 1:42:39 PM PST by Fzob (Why does this tag line keep showing up?)
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To: najida
"These cretins have CHILDREN"

Actually they will become extinct in our time due to excess...ie. abortion.

113 posted on 11/06/2004 7:51:14 PM PST by hope (The rats got the spanking of their life and they still don't get it.)
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To: DYngbld

ping


114 posted on 11/16/2004 6:19:30 AM PST by wasp69 (Hey, DUmmies! Can ya feel it? Does it hurt?)
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