DUmmie FUnnies 11-04-04 PM Edition ("I Don't Give A F&@#!")

Various DUmmies and Assorted MOrons | November 4, 2004 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Blind DUmmie rage continues unabated in you can see in this THREAD chronicling the rantings of the Berserkers. Somehow I don’t think this anger will cool down anytime soon and we can expect the Dummies to be in full Rage Mode for at least the next four years. So sit back and relax, folks! The DUmmie FUnnies show is about to begin. As usual the bilious DUmmie droppings,beginning with a charming soliloquy by Mallrat are in Bolshevik Red while laughing in the upper galleries is your humble correspondent whose bemused commentary is in the [brackets]:

My new mantra: I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[My new mantra: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!]

Starting today, and effective until January 20, 2009, every time something bad happens to a red city in a red state-- something which a John Kerry Presidency might have prevented-- my response will be this:

[Um, let me guess, Mallrat. You don’t give a…hmmm. My memory seems to fail me. Help me out here, Mallrat.]

I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[Yes! Yes! That’s it, Mallrat. Thanks for refreshing my memory.]

Massive layoffs in Wichita? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[Soooo Mallrat. Does this mean you won’t be sending any gift baskets to Wichita this Christmas? I’m sure those folks will miss having those chemically enhanced Summer Sausages.]

Skyrocketing gas prices in Birmingham? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[Yeah but what about skyrocketing Malted Milk Dud prices in Birmingham? Surely you wouldn't give them the cold shoulder in that emergency case?]

Seniors unable to pay for prescription drugs in Salt Lake City? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[Such a charmer you are, Mallrat. Have you ever thought of becoming a Wallmart greeter?]

Young men and women from Omaha, Knoxville, and Jefferson City getting drafted and killed in preemptive wars based on cherry-picked fake intelligence? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[I have a philosophical question for you, Mallrat. What if someone from Omaha gets drafted but he really grew up in Peoria, which is in a Blue state? We need a convocation of theologians methinks to resolve this moral question.]

Outsourced jobs in Tulsa? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[But what if the job is outsourced to a Blue state? Again another moral dilemma here, Mallrat.]

Record bankruptcies in Pensacola? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[So what do you think about Hurricane Ivan hitting Pensacoloa? Silly me. Need I even ask?]

National Guardsmen from Fort Wayne being held over in Iraq due to a reserve system stretched thin? I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[I think we can scratch Fort Wayne off your list of cities in which to commence a political career, Mallrat.]

I DON'T GIVE A F*CK ANYMORE. If you feel so strongly that this President's supposed "values" trump everything that he's done wrong, then fine. Last time I checked, opposing gay marriage didn't create jobs, and banning abortion didn't get us out of a quagmire in Iraq.

You've made your priorities clear. Now I have mine. And Red America, you're not one of them anymore.

[Something missing here, Mallrat, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.]

I DON'T GIVE A F*CK.

[That’s it! You never disappoint, Mallrat.]

[PJ-Comix]

DUmmie FUnnies now has a little over 200 PINGees on the PING List. Let me know if you want to be added to the PING List.

[PJ-Comix]

PING!

[Terpfen]

Oh, man. This is great. Could you add me to your pinglist, please?

[JakeWyld]

I'd like to be on the DUFU list. Especially with such a clear victory for the prez and our party.

I hate to think i already missed some good laughs!

[PJ-Comix]

I left it at just posting the Mallrat rantings because I suddenly feel the Sandman beckoning me and can hardly keep my eyes open. Therefore feel free to post here more of the pickings from this DUmmie thread. You don't need to sign in anymore.

[BenLurkin]

DU is irrelevent. Let it fade into obscurity.

They certainly don't deserve hits from FReepers.

[GraceCoolidge]

I've been checking in tonight for the latest update. I think I was in DUmmie FUnnies withdrawal till this appeared....

[PJ-Comix]

I hate to think i already missed some good laughs!

Just put "DUmmie FUnnies" in the FR Seach Engine and you find them all conveniently listed for you.

[jwalburg]

Here's another one: Next time a corporate charity ask for my $$$ I am going to direct their request to the white house. Next time I hear someone complain about not getting a job, I will direct them to the white house, next time I hear someone b*tch about high consumer prices and inflation, I will direct them to the white house, and so on and so on. If we are going to play this every-man-for-himself-game, I am ready, I have plenty of money, and I have a really pissed off attitude that is not going to go away anytime soon....

They have "plenty of money." And probably drive a fleet of SUVs while complaining about other people's gas guzzling habits. There are so many of these rich liberals whose cushy government jobs we pay for, who think they stand up for the little guy, but their attitude is crystal clear now. If they don't get their little way in their little blue states, they don't give a ...

[Rocko]

See how they're working to patch together some thoughts?

[PatriotGirl827]

Go check out the editions from yesterday - like 7 of them - some of the best ones ever. Word of caution: don't drink anything in front of your computer screen while reading them. They're that funny!

[Freepdonia]

Too bad they don't have a live cam at DU so we could see them crying and bashing their heads into the wall.

[mlocher]

add me. the comical relief is unbelievable. zucker et.al. have nothing on these amphioxi.

[shezza]

My, they are in a tizzy over in the DUmpster, aren't they? No wonder you've named these threads the DUmmie FUnnies - they're loaded with references to F-U. As always, I appreciate your willingness to dredge the muckpits to bring us such hilarity.

[JakeWyld]

Thanks for the warning! :)

[PatriotGirl827]

"Next time a corporate charity ask for my $$$ I am going to direct their request to the white house"

What the heck is a corporate charity? Do they mean like when Halliburton calls and asks for a donation?

[killjoy]

I want to be on the DUFU list too!

[jwalburg]

I kind of wondered about that too. But if this lib has "plenty of money" he's in a different circle than I am and probably gets different kinds of calls for money than I do.

[BearCub]

LOL - great job. Add me to your ping-list too, if you intent to keep this up.

Thanks for the laugh!

[Rocko]

They're still hiding under their beds....

X anyone bothered to watch any news since wed. morning?  rainy   Nov-04-04 07:09 PM   #0 
  - Nope  TimeToGo   Nov-04-04 07:09 PM   #1 
  - Hell no.  Iris   Nov-04-04 07:10 PM   #2 
  - no  ogradda   Nov-04-04 07:10 PM   #3 
  - No more media whores for me. I'm done.  ccbombs   Nov-04-04 07:10 PM   #4 
  - Finished  katmondoo   Nov-04-04 07:12 PM   #8 
  - I have not watched any news.  freetobegay   Nov-04-04 07:11 PM   #5 
  - too f****g painful to watch  GreenGreenLimaBean   Nov-04-04 07:11 PM   #6 
  - Lets do that  katmondoo   Nov-04-04 07:14 PM   #15
    - Zero news for me. Just watch Daily Show and C-SPAN. nt  libbygurl   Nov-04-04 07:12 PM   #7 
  - Not since Democracy died  Generator   Nov-04-04 07:12 PM   #9 
  - No  Junebug1920   Nov-04-04 07:12 PM   #10 
  - not once.  ladjf   Nov-04-04 07:12 PM   #11 
  - can't do it. I tried today when DU said there was a Press Conference  skylarmae   Nov-04-04 07:13 PM   #12 
  - no news for me  going to school   Nov-04-04 07:13 PM   #13 
  - NO WAY  Carolab   Nov-04-04 07:13 PM   #14
    - I have not watched news for mohhs, all my news comes from  nadinbrzezinski   Nov-04-04 07:15 PM   #16 
  - No, haven't watched news for three years  DanaM   Nov-04-04 07:17 PM   #17 
  - Zero TV news for me  tridim   Nov-04-04 07:20 PM   #18 
  - No. I didn't watch them before  desert   Nov-04-04 07:21 PM   #19 
  - No  blackspade   Nov-04-04 07:27 PM   #20 
  - wow!  theoceansnerves   Nov-04-04 07:29 PM   #21 
  - No  Gothmog   Nov-04-04 07:30 PM   #22 
  - no! Canceling cable because it's better for my health and the TV.  neverforget   Nov-04-04 07:30 PM   #23 
  - Can't bring myself to go near the thing n/t  VirginiaDem   Nov-04-04 07:32 PM   #24 
  - No way  high density   Nov-04-04 07:34 PM   #25 
  - Nope, just like last time  LizW   Nov-04-04 07:38 PM   #26 
  - Not since 11:00 election night.  Carey46955   Nov-04-04 07:44 PM   #27 
  - In the Uk , the only fully American news channel is Fox  Delightful   Nov-04-04 07:48 PM   #28 
  - no nt  Changenow   Nov-04-04 07:49 PM   #29 
  - No. I'm done with the news. It's counterproductive to my goals.  bling bling   Nov-04-04 07:50 PM   #30 
  - TV off 48 straight hours  kerry2win   Nov-04-04 07:56 PM   #31 
  - no  scarletlib   Nov-04-04 08:32 PM   #32 
  - Nope  ethereal   Nov-04-04 08:34 PM   #33 
  - No. Not even the Daily Show  XanthaS   Nov-04-04 08:35 PM   #34 
  - What news?  Doodlesweaver   Nov-04-04 08:37 PM   #35 
  - couldn't stop  medeak   Nov-04-04 08:39 PM   #36 
  - No  Andromeda   Nov-04-04 08:49 PM   #37 
  - I'll never watch network or cable  LibDemAlways   Nov-04-04 08:49 PM   #38 
  - Nope. But I hear they're blaming us gays for the chimp's win.  tedthebear   Nov-04-04 08:56 PM   #39 
  - sadly and unfortunately...  Neecy   Nov-04-04 08:57 PM   #40 
  - Tried - 3 minues and off again  KT2000   Nov-04-04 09:06 PM   #41 
  - Haven't had cable hooked up for several months  lulu in NC   Nov-04-04 09:16 PM   #42 
  X Nope  Jawja   Nov-04-04 09:23 PM   #43