Posted on 04/09/2026 1:21:22 PM PDT by algore
An entitled Oregon shoplifter has sued a grocery store after a clerk beat him up for stealing a cart full of corn dogs and cookies.
Joshua Merkel is asking for $10,000 to cover the medical expenses and mental anguish he claims was inflicted during the foiled heist in southwest Portland.
Merkel has sued Albertson's grocery store and cashier Matthew Cooper for allegedly attacking him outside the store, leaving him with a black eye and a shattered jaw.
The incident happened two years ago, but Merkel filed a civil lawsuit, seen by The Oregonian, last month in Multnomah County Circuit Court.
Merkel, 45, has claimed Cooper, 31, went 'way too far' when he intercepted him - though a jury found the clerk not guilty of second-degree assault in a criminal case.
The shoplifter claims he committed the crime because he was 'ravenous'. Despite that apparent hunger, he still took the time to fill his cart with T-bone steaks and frozen corn dogs.
Merkel had cash in his pocket at the time of the crime.
'I understand I was committing a crime. I shouldn't have done it, and it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been there, stealing and hungry,' Merkel testified during the criminal trial, 'But it went way too far.'
'I didn't at all want to fight. I just wanted some food,' Merkel said in court.
Merkel's lawyers tried to depict him as a 'starving' man who stole out of desperation.
Meanwhile, Cooper's defense attorney Jason Steen pointed out that Merkel had tried to make off with high-dollar items like T-bone steak.
Steen argued that he intended to trade some of the goods for methamphetamine.
Cooper would have been jailed for almost six years if he had been found guilty at the criminal trial, but he was acquitted in September.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Nevermind I don’t know why i thought cvs?
He should put some raw meat on that eye.
"He should put some raw meat on that eye."
Lawyers made western civilization a joke.
Big time.
Sad but true.
Said every thief ever.
To quote Red Foreman of "That 70s Show", "That's not food; that's what food EATS!"
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