Posted on 09/03/2017 11:34:00 AM PDT by EdnaMode
Thanks to cheap sex, marriage may be doomed.
The share of Americans ages 25-34 who are married dropped 13 percentage points from 2000 to 2014. A new book by sociologist Mark Regnerus blames this declining rate on how easy it is for men to get off.
Regnerus calls it “cheap sex,” an economic term meant to describe sex that has very little cost in terms of time or emotional investment, giving it little value.
Regnerus bases his ideas, in part, on the work of British social theorist Anthony Giddens, who argued that the pill isolated sex from marriage and children. Add online pornography and dating sites to the mix and you don’t even need relationships.
The result is “two overlapping (but distinctive) markets, one for sex and one for marriage, with a rather large territory in between comprised of significant relationships of varying commitment and duration,” Regnerus writes in “Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy” (Oxford University Press).
In generations past, women generally made men wait until marriage to have sex. To get a wife (and, therefore, sex), men had to be clean and presentable and have a good job. This, Regnerus reasons, gave men all the motivation they needed to become respectable members of society.
Now with porn on-demand and greater reproductive freedom, sex is a commodity available at any time. This has left men with little motivation for marriage, writes Regnerus, who cites demographer Steven Ruggles’ prediction that one of every three people in their 20s will never marry.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
You might do better looking for a soul mate in a Chelsea leather bar.
Well Miss M, see you are still with us.
Not all men “bashing” women are anti-women.
Many of us observed the situation for these past 50-yrs and have a different perspective on things. (I’ve been married to the greatest woman ever. We married when we were in college and at the young age of 21).
Again, just because some men find the risks outweigh the rewards doesn’t automatically mean someone is spewing “hate.”
Many of the posts a not “hating,” just a recognition of how things changed and now the entire world is now different.
Teach college and you will observe how much things have changed.
Oh, come on! Did you read these posts? I know guys stick together but to be in this creepy crowd...yuck!
My late hubby and I were nerdy hippies. We decided to marry in the late 70’s for the wrong reason (our landlady would not rent to unmarried couples) but it was a good decision and we both knew we were “long term.” He recently passed away after a long illness he fought for two decades. As I age, I am not inclined to remarry. At least for now. There are huge benefits and rewards to marriage but also a variety of personal and financial costs to that legally binding commitment. To be honest I have begun taking a very long run view — I am seeing life-extension techniques and medical advances improving rapidly — and I want to preserve my economic resources in order to support my own potential longevity. I realize that sounds harsh but as I march toward old age and death, I do so with the much resistance and defiance. I cannot say that my outlook is shared by most people, but it does seem that many today, both young and old, think they will live much longer and, someday - indefinitely (i.e. “forever,” barring the odd accident with a big-rig), and so are taking a ‘longer view’ that may be shifting their focus from quickly snagging a spouse and starting a family in their 20s and 30s, toward longer term self investment and self development. [In other words, online porn and gold-digger divorcees are not necessarily the only causal forces at work, here, despite a book by a “sociologist” - whatever THAT is. (As an economist, I’m professionally obligated to make fun of that other discipline.)]
Certainly, sharing household expenses and daily living tasks with someone to whom you are legally committed in marriage can facilitate this personal goal but such jointly shared responsibilities can redound in the opposite direction as well (unfortunately). Though with a Ph.D., I won’t declare I’m a Leftist/feminist but I will say I’m glad to be able to access more opportunities and options (whether remarried or single) over time thanks to an education past high school. The institution of marriage remains absolutely essential and central to successful families, however, and ensures children will enjoy consistent, jointly-provided role modeling and irreplaceable moral and emotional support as they grow. Just my two cents.
How did the medical community come up with the term “PMS”?
“Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
There’s nothing wrong with being single - especially if you think it’s going to benefit you financially. And, after all, you had one good, long-term relationship - which is better than most of the guys writing here can say!
“Women love men that are powerful, in charge, and to some extent put them in their place”
A Bad Boy?
These are the jokes? Phew. Pathetic.
I went with education for the sake of learning, hunting, travel, own my home outright in Silicon Valley, personal machine shop, collection of vintage Italian motor bikes(>10), dogs, garden & rental properties.
Retired 2 years ago @ 55 years of age.
Spoil my nieces & nephews rotten.
I learned German and spent a month in Germany this year, with a lady friend who paid for her own way.
Last year I built all the cabinets in my new kitchen...learned how to cut & polish granite counter tops.
I have over 500 books on my shelves and am taking classes to learn metal casting.
I did not have to ask permission to do any of that.
Just say’n.
My point was to take the nastiness out of this discussion - and give another reason for the lags or decline in marriage choice we see. Things are just really different today...
This was an interesting discussion.
Ain’t that the truth!
The cure for nymphomania...marriage.
And. . .for something completely different and funny: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR5NcenuWNA
The author implicitly asserts that men had/have no motivation in life beyond attaining sex. This is stupid. Men had authority and responsibility in their lives and family. Today their family’s can be takenjoyed away from them on a mere whim. Big difference.
Very wise, sincere and perceptive disputation you make. Bitterness? Some, but I’ve been married 56 years. Big issue is a son who through an indiscretion got royally hosed by a Jimmy Swaggert type ultra devout “Christian” woman and a very defective judge. Woman and her husband are very well off and son is living in penury for 18 years. Totally criminal unfair system. For that yes I am bitter.
I am confused by your vitriol, truly am.
Was pointing out that people can observe things differently, have different experiences and histories that shape their perspectives, and then pointing out that not ALL men are women “haters,” and my experiences and opinion prove that.
I have a different opinion from many others here, be them male or female. I can “get” the “haters” points while at the same time I can “get” the other side.
Do I have to have to join the “man haters” club otherwise I am a “woman-hater.”
You are the exception. I retired at 52, 20+ years ago, wood and machine shops, commercial property in the bay area, home on the river. I attribute it to my wife, who helped me do it all. In my experience,the truly successful men were all family men
Join whatever you want.
I have expressed no “vitriol” towards you but you don’t appear to have read all the posts or you have and you agree with them. There is someone here who believes in Sharia Law for women, did you read that one? Do you agree with that one? Do you agree with the one who called me a sow because I dared to point out the hostility towards women on this thread? Do you think all divorced men are victims of evil women? Do you think all American women are fat and ugly compared to the Cary Grant-like svelteness of the average American male? If you agree with all those points we have nothing to say to each other.
Who on this thread said they believe in Sharia?
So every man who does not genuflect to gynocentrism is ‘creepy’.
Feminism has destroyed marriage, women have voted for government to replace husbands...and men have taken notice.
I wear ‘creepy’ as a badge of honor.
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