Your cheating heart

Gurdian ^ | 6/18/05 | Joanna Briscoe

[motormouth]

I agree with you. I have more male friends than female..I work with all women and can only take so much petty behavior. I have no desire to sleep with any of my male friends...Just like and appreciate being friends with them.
:o)

[Melas]

Same here. I can't imagine my wife telling me that I was supposed to quit being friends with the girl I've known since I was 9. I think I'd laugh myself silly.

[motormouth]

How does your wife feel about your friendship?

[Melas]

How does your wife feel about your friendship?

I can answer that with anectdote. Several years ago, 3 of us were supposed to go to Sturgis, my two childhood friends and myself. We all grew up together, and we've all been riding motorcycles since grade school.

My other male friend's wife threw a jealous hissy fit and wouldn't let him go without her (the wife), despite the fact that Sturgis is a big ol' biker rally, and she's not big on biker culture herself. So, rather than subject himself to her constant bitching, and subjecting the two of us to his wife, he bailed. I still love him for that.

Now my wife on the other hand, encouraged me to make the trip even after my buddy had bailed. Even though it was just me and a girl I grew up with, my wife was behind me going all the way. In the end it was a helluva trip, and my wife's stock with me soared exponentially.

[motormouth]

I think thats great...More women should be like that.
:o)

[knak]

I don't know it's all blurred to me my cousin isn't into her husbands sexual fantasys's so she encourages him to whank on Internet Porn so he will leave her alone...

Okay, that's just a bit odd.

[missyme]

Oh yes you are right....The Mind is one pretty powerful Organ!

[Melas]

You're going to really hate post 104. BTW, I've been monogomous for a long time now, and as I leave my youth and enter into middle age, it just gets easier. I don't even worry about falling off that horse anymore.

[Rushgrrl]

I soooo agree with that. Ever since the 'net stuff has come up, this "argument" of "what is cheating, what is not" always comes up. Within the confines of a moral marraige, in my opinion, any involvement with someone of the opposite sex, emotional or physical, can be a huge detriment to a marraige.

I've even seen it when people defend whatever the situation is with "but we're just friends who work together". The thing is, that is a friendship that is trampling on the toes of what a true marraige should provide for both partners: the ultimate in friendship AND romance AND sex.

The only time men, and women alike, are able to use the "we're just friends" defense is when there is something that that friendship provides, that the marraige doesn't. A lot of people are in denial about this very thing, but it doesn't make it any less true.

Take a look around at people who have affairs with people from work: how do you think THAT started? "we're just friends", until there is a moment when someone needs a shoulder or "someone to talk to". In my opinion, it doesn't always lead to anything physical, BUT....the opportunity will present itself if it continues along those pathways.

As every guy I know tells me "guys don't have women as friends unless they want to sleep with them. They have guys to be friends with."

I'm sure I will get a heap tossed on me about this, but again, this is strictly my opinion.

[MeneMeneTekelUpharsin]

Has anyone stopped to consider what Jesus had to say?

Matthew 5:27 "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery';
Matthew 5:28 but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.

[Rushgrrl]

not on both sides, I guarantee it. There is always one that is more heavily invested than the other, whether it's emotional or not.

[motormouth]

IMO
I was married for almost 14 years, in that time, I continued my "friendships" with my male friends. My husband had no female friends and yet he had no problem finding someone to have an affair with...While I never even considered the possibility of bedding one of my friends. I have respect for them as well as myself.
:o)

[Rushgrrl]

you've got that right!!!
And up until about two years ago (when I got married!) I believed I could still "be friends" with my male friends...well, guess what??? all of a sudden, being in my company wasn't that important anymore since I was no longer "available" and the remote-shag-a-bility factor dropped to nothing!
PromiseKeepers is FANTASTIC at that, you're absolutely right. Why put yourself in a situation that might be combustable at some point in time and put your marraige at risk for no reason?? If one is truly matched well w/ their spouse, they wouldn't need to go a-hunting for something else to "fill the gaps". I think this situation now is a result of people being impatient, not waiting for the one person that will fill all those needs w/out having to fill those gaps. And YES, all the years of having it forced in our heads by mag's that there is nothing wrong with it or that we should explore every avenue of filling up our lives with things OTHER than our spouses and families.

[Rushgrrl]

again, that's in reference to school-children friendships which could possibly fall into a different category, than adult "friendships" that have been developed due to different circumstances.

[Melas]

Sorry not buying it. We're both adults, hell weeeeeell into adulthood. I think looking back to length of our friendship is just a way to try to discredit the idea that men and women can just be friends.

[Melas]

Disagree. Sometimes, neither one of you wants to jump the other, no matter how attractive either of you is.