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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Illegal Immigrants Sue for Millions [semi-satire]

    08/17/2015 1:25:41 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2015 | John Semmens
    Five illegal immigrants from Guatemala, Honduras, and El Salvador have filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the federal government. As their lawyer Andrew Free explained, “they came to this country to exercise their Constitutional right to share in its abundance. Yet, unlike the Mexicans who got here before them they’ve been denied free food, free housing, free education, and free health care. Instead, they been detained in squalid conditions as if they were common criminals.” Free called this lawsuit “merely the opening salvo in a protracted struggle for social justice. There are thousands, maybe millions, of future plaintiffs. We will...
  • 5-year-old Blasts Political Correctness & Entitlement Mentality

    08/17/2015 12:24:23 PM PDT · by Patriot27591 · 12 replies
    CleanTV ^ | 8-17-15 | CleanTV
    5-year-old Talk Show host Melody Blasts Political Correctness & Entitlement Mentality on her show, "A Moment with Melody." Transcript: Today I want to talk about Political Correctness. It's very tricky because there is nothing correct about it. Political Correctness should really be called Political Incorrectness. It's really a way that one group of people Try to brainwash you to do something the bad way. And to make you feel bad if you try to go it a good way. Let me give you an example. You do lots of chores to earn money to go to the carnival. It's so...
  • EXC to FR: Details of Trump's plans to deport illegals and to create American jobs revealed [Satire]

    08/17/2015 8:52:37 AM PDT · by ken5050 · 28 replies
    one man's opinion...
    Responding to demands that he provide more details of his plans should he be elected President, Donald Trump this morning met with reporters to give specifics about his plans to remove illegals from this country, and also to provide jobs for Americans.
  • Pork Chop Hill

    08/17/2015 6:46:09 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 8-17-2015 | MOTUS
    Be sure to catch the latest blockbuster: Pork Chop Hill – now playing at a State Fair near you! Hilz had another of her derivative Veni, Vidi, Vici moments at the Iowa State Fair this weekend. While biting into her pork-chop-on-a-stick she again denied any inappropriate behavior on her part regarding her wiped-clean email hard drive, blaming the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy for this witch hunt. All I can say is ask Major Jason Brezler if it’s okay to send classified material – knowingly or unknowingly – over an unauthorized and unsecured communications channel. If your name isn’t “Clinton” you’ll be...
  • Not Just Hillary's Credibility/Tanking Poll #s- She's Ultimately Doomed Because Obama Hates Her Too

    08/17/2015 3:40:14 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 38 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 17 August 2015 | Reaganite Republican
    Many have long thought of a Hillary nomination/presidency as all but certain even throughout her never-ending scandals, but this 'inevitability' thinking was long based on polling and the idea that it was simply 'her turn' and therefore the entire Democratic Party machine is going to be behind her... there wasn't even need for debates. And who was going to challenge all that? But now that Hill's popularity with actual voters is slipping, you have to ask yourself how 'inevitable' a Hillary Clinton presidency -or even nomination- is (even though WaPo is promoting the narrative that it's already too late for the DNC to change...
  • Newly Released Emails Said to Exonerate Lerner [semi-satire]

    08/16/2015 3:07:25 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2015 | John Semmens
    A newly released batch of emails from Lois Lerner, former IRS official in charge of denying conservative groups the same tax-free status as left-leaning groups, is said to have largely exonerated her of charges of unwarranted discrimination. Attorney General Loretta Lynch cited email content in which Lerner referred to conservative groups as “evil and dishonest” as “fundamentally exculpatory. As a public servant, Ms. Lerner was certainly within her rights and duties to block the misuse of tax-exempt status to groups that in her mind posed a genuine danger to the government. While conservatives might be expected to disagree with her...
  • Satire | North Korea announces bold new peace plan

    08/16/2015 12:16:54 PM PDT · by DanMiller · 3 replies
    Dan Miller's Blog ^ | August 16, 2015 | Dan Miller
    Editor's note: This is a guest post by Kim Wu-hu, the highly respected director of North Korea's Ministry of Everlasting Truth. She is variously believed to be Kim Jong-un's sister or illegitimate daughter.Kim Jong-un (also known as Kim Chi-un), the universally beloved Dear Leader of the Democratic Peoples' Republic of Korea, today announced a bold new plan for peace with the illegitimate regime known as the Republic of Korea. It was met with tremendous joy and relief worldwide. Millions gathered in Pyongyang to celebrate, as even the leader of the rogue regime known as Obama's America held a televised press briefing...
  • Our Next First Lady or Laddy: Choose Wisely Weedhopper

    08/16/2015 7:54:52 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 15 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 8-17-2015 | MOTUS
    In her recent column S.E. Cupp asks Who Are Trump’s Supporters? She seems to think that the conservative base is “too principled” – and she means that in a pejorative way – to chose the chameleon Trump:The idea that in 2016 these voters would simply turn off their hardwired orthodoxy and support a guy who has voted for Democrats, said "the economy does better under the Democrats," refused to pledge to support the Republican nominee if it's not him, openly defended Planned Parenthood, approved of exceptions to abortion bans, supported a single-payer healthcare system, backed an assault weapons ban and...
  • Reaganite's SUNDAY FUNNIES

    08/16/2015 4:03:06 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 4 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 16 August 2015 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican
  • Obama Admin Urges Court to Block Restitution to Terror Victims [semi-satire]

    08/15/2015 12:42:07 PM PDT · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2015 | John Semmens
    Deputy Secretary of State Tony Blinken argued against the imposition of jury-awarded damages to the victims of Palestinian terrorist attacks in 2002-2004. The jury award of more than $200 million in actual damages to ten families with three dozen injured, maimed, or killed is vigorously opposed by the Obama Administration. Despite proclaiming its sympathy for the victims, the Administration seeks to void the damage award because, according to Blinken, “the amount represents a significant share of the Palestinian Authority’s annual budget. The loss of so large an amount would seriously infringe upon the PA’s ability to carry out its functions....
  • Crimes Committed by Illegals “an Acceptable Cost” Says Congressman [semi-satire]

    08/10/2015 9:32:09 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 8 Aug 2015 | John Semmens
    Rep. Luis Gutierrez (D-Ill) told Spanish channel Telemundo that “we shouldn’t overreact to a little thing like the murder of Kate Steinle” by a criminal illegal alien. Gutierrez advised that “we need to keep things in proper perspective. The thousands of crimes committed by the those who enter this country without permission should be weighed against the benefits to the tens of millions who don’t commit crimes.” “Why should the much larger number of poor and oppressed people seeking refuge in the United States be deported and denied the food, housing, education, and medical care they so desperately need just...
  • [Satire] Carson, BLM Clash on Issues

    08/15/2015 12:28:17 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2015 | John Semmens
    GOP presidential hopeful Dr. Ben Carson and leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement clashed this week following Carson's assertion that BLM is "creating strife." As Carson sees it, "Blacks have been led down a dead-end road to dependency and murder via abortion by Democrat policies." "The message that Democrats are sending by their support for the welfare state is that Blacks can't make it on their own efforts," Carson argued. "This is ridiculous. Blacks are as capable as whites if they apply their God-given talents to the world around them." The candidate was even more critical of Democrats' unwavering...
  • Court Rejects Challenge to Executive Amnesty [semi-satire]

    08/15/2015 7:08:47 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 Aug 2015 | John Semmens
    The U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia rejected Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio's bid to halt President Obama's executive grant of amnesty to those in the country illegally, calling the Sheriff's reasoning "tenuous" and "unduly speculative." "First, the argument that the grant of amnesty is imposing extra burdens on the Sheriff's office cannot be supported by the facts," Judge Nina Pillard wrote. "The laws against entering this country illegally are federal laws. The federal government has made it clear that it does not intend to enforce these laws. Sheriff Arpaio cannot claim his office is being burdened...
  • Is That Mud I Smell?

    08/15/2015 7:01:33 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 7 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 8-15-2015 | MOTUS
    “I just provided my server to the Justice Department…but here’s what I won’t do. I won’t get down in the mud with them.” Is it possible that the smartest woman in the world was completely baffled by her own email server? Did she just push the “wipe the hard drive clean” button by mistake? Apparently so.Whoops!Nevertheless, she stands defiant. Speaking at a rally at the Iowa State Fairgrounds, with the slight whiff of  cow dung drifting through the air, she joked (“I love my new Snapchat account.Those messages just disappear all by themselves.”), wagged her finger at the Vast...
  • DUmmie FUnnies 08-14-15 (Hillary's Last Stand in DUmmieland)

    08/14/2015 5:32:21 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 21 replies
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 14, 2015 | Dummies & PJ-Comix
    The few, the brave, the.....WAAAAAH! The demoralized. I mean utterly DEMORALIZED. Who? The handful of Hillary supporters left in DUmmieland. Like George A. Custer at the Little Big Horn, their numbers were never great but now they have dwindled down to a pathetic few. Yes, they had a big boost initially from DUmmie Leader Skinner who hyped Hillary bigtime. Of course, it was Clinton Cash that influenced his decision and until recently he was giving pep talks to boost the morale of those few, very few, Clinton supporters in DUmmieland. However, even Skinner now appears to have given up...
  • A sad but funny last request...

    08/14/2015 3:18:06 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 8 replies
    American Irony ^ | 8-14-15 | The Looking Spoon
    # I've got to give credit where it's due, I adapted this from this meme.
  • Hillary Clinton Email Scandal Song

    08/14/2015 1:26:47 PM PDT · by marktwain · 12 replies
    YouTube ^ | 11 March, 2015 | Funnin Gunnin
    This is a parody song about the Hillary Clinton email scandal. It is only one and a half minutes. I thought freepers would enjoy it. I did. Link to YouTube Hillary Clinton Email Scandal SongIt starts with this line: "Goodbye Hillary, Will you ever prove it all that you had your own email, or keep them for yourself?" The keeper line: "It seems to me that you lived your life like a scandal in the wind..."
  • Litany for the conversion of internet thugs

    08/14/2015 11:10:46 AM PDT · by grey_whiskers · 9 replies
    Fr. Z's Blog ^ | (unknown) | Father Zuhlsdorf
    A work in progress. I am willing to take some intelligent suggestions and additions. Litany for the conversion of internet thugs. (private use only, and when truly irritated, and when the alternative is foul language) Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy. Christ, hear us. Christ, graciously hear us. God, the Father of Heaven, have mercy on us. God, the Son, Redeemer of the World, have mercy on us. God, the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us. Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us. Lest internet thugs be eternally tormented by all the fiends of hell, convert...
  • Elusive Alchemy

    08/14/2015 6:14:25 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 8-14-2015 | MOTUS
    As the country remains immersed in The Donald, email servers wiped clean, and Iowa corndogs we take a small break to check in on how the Won’s vacation on the Vineyard is going: Last night we enjoyed dinner at popular downtown restaurant Alchemy* – which may be considered by some to be an ironic statement on the Obama presidency. [*alchemy - a seemingly magical process of transformation, creation, or combination. It was concerned particularly with attempts to convert base metals into gold.] It was a quiet dinner with some of the folks (Eric Holder and his wife, National Security Advisor...
  • TGIF 'toons

    08/14/2015 2:44:32 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 6 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 14 August 2015 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican