Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Calvinist Health Insurance Company Declares All Conditions Pre-Existing
Babylon Bee ^ | 5/10/17

Posted on 05/11/2017 3:56:51 PM PDT by SoFloFreeper

SANFORD, FL—A newly formed health insurance company owned by a group of devoted Calvinists announced that they will not cover any health condition, since every condition of humankind was pre-existing and established by sovereign God before the foundation of time.

The company, Total Deductibility, states clearly in its bylaws that “pre-existing conditions may not be covered, which include every possible ailment and so-called ‘accident,’ all of which God foreknew and predestined to occur prior to the existence of the client’s policy, and time itself.” The firm was thrilled when the new GOP health care law, which drops the requirement to cover some pre-existing conditions, passed the House, according to a company spokesperson.

“We can now reject every single claim, based on its pre-existing status,” she told reporters. “Whether or not the client was aware of the condition has no bearing; God sovereignly pre-arranged every condition before the dawn of the universe, and therefore we must refuse all claims based on this truth.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; fakenews; health; humor; joke; satire
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-46 last
To: Hot Tabasco
Yea, you are. It's a grossly satirical article posted from a Christian hating website..........Lots of chuckles..HaHa

Thank you, FRiend! I have never seen this website before. :)

All the best to you and yours, Julie

41 posted on 05/11/2017 7:41:23 PM PDT by proud American in Canada ( God Bless America (Trump: I will bear the slings and arrows for you, the American people))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 16 | View Replies]

To: ctdonath2; Hot Tabasco; All
It’s satire.

I opine that Th!e Babylon Bee is the only real satire left; everything else suffers from reality being stranger (and stupider) than fiction.

Thank you both for enlightening me! Never heard of this place before. :)

Take care, both of you. :) Julie

42 posted on 05/11/2017 7:48:42 PM PDT by proud American in Canada ( God Bless America (Trump: I will bear the slings and arrows for you, the American people))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: proud American in Canada

Yes, it’s hilarious satire by devout Christians laughing at themselves (something most of us don’t do enough). I learned about it right here on FR. I recommend checking it out -

“Tim Tebow fly ball taken up to heaven”

“Joel Osteen saw his own shadow, guaranteeing six more weeks of taking scripture out of context”

Cheers!


43 posted on 05/11/2017 8:10:21 PM PDT by PlateOfShrimp
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: PlateOfShrimp

And well done Christian satire at that!


44 posted on 05/11/2017 8:18:31 PM PDT by Mom MD
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: proud American in Canada

There’s always Lark News http://www.larknews.com/, and if you want the latest political developments, check out the People’s Cube. http://thepeoplescube.com/


45 posted on 05/11/2017 8:29:49 PM PDT by PAR35
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: P-Marlowe; Gamecock; blue-duncan; SoFloFreeper

46 posted on 05/12/2017 11:07:06 AM PDT by xzins (Retired US Army chaplain. Those who truly support our troops pray for their victory.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-46 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson