Posted on 05/11/2017 3:56:51 PM PDT by SoFloFreeper
SANFORD, FL—A newly formed health insurance company owned by a group of devoted Calvinists announced that they will not cover any health condition, since every condition of humankind was pre-existing and established by sovereign God before the foundation of time.
The company, Total Deductibility, states clearly in its bylaws that “pre-existing conditions may not be covered, which include every possible ailment and so-called ‘accident,’ all of which God foreknew and predestined to occur prior to the existence of the client’s policy, and time itself.” The firm was thrilled when the new GOP health care law, which drops the requirement to cover some pre-existing conditions, passed the House, according to a company spokesperson.
“We can now reject every single claim, based on its pre-existing status,” she told reporters. “Whether or not the client was aware of the condition has no bearing; God sovereignly pre-arranged every condition before the dawn of the universe, and therefore we must refuse all claims based on this truth.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
It’s satire.
I opine that The Babylon Bee is the only real satire left; everything else suffers from reality being stranger (and stupider) than fiction.
That’s funny, I don’t care who you are!
GRPL Ping!
At my age, the weekend begins today, so it must be Friday.
It is friday someplace.
They forget that the Healer was prepared before the foundation of the world.
When a three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”
Is this satire?Why in the world would anyone buy insurance from this company if they are not going to cover anything? Am I missing something here?
Yes, it is.
Babylon Bee is a Christian satire site.
Not a Christian hating website. Quite the opposite.
Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. One doctor steps forward and tells St. Peter, “As a pediatric surgeon, I saved hundreds of children.” St. Peter lets him enter.
The next doctor says, “As a psychiatrist, I helped thousands of people live better lives.” St. Peter tells him to go ahead.
The last man says, “I was an HMO manager. I got countless families cost-effective health care.”
St. Peter replies, “You may enter. But,” he adds, “you can only stay for three days. After that, you can go to hell.”
Vicar: It’s about this letter you sent me regarding my insurance claim.
Devious: Oh, yeah, yeah - well, you see, it’s just that we’re not, as yet, totally satisfied with the grounds of your claim.
Vicar: But it says something about filling my mouth in with cement.
Devious: Oh well, that’s just insurance jargon, you know.
Vicar: But my car was hit by a lorry while standing in the garage and you refuse to pay my claim.
Devious: (rising and crossing to a filing cabinet) Oh well, Reverend Morrison, in your policy... in your policy... (he opens the drawer of the filing cabins and takes out a shabby old sports jacket; he feels in the pocket and pulls out a crumpled dog-eared piece of paper then puts the coat back and shuts the filing cabinet).... here we are. It states quite clearly that no claim you make will be paid.
Vicar: Oh dear.
Devious: You see, you unfortunately plumped for our ‘Neverpay’ policy, which, you know, if you never claim is very worthwhile, but you had to claim, and, well, there it is.
Vicar: Oh dear, oh dear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO2R_DDZPCM
The Babylon bee is Christian satire. Yes.
What do an insurance policy and a woman have in common?
They are both expensive, difficult to understand and what you get is not guaranteed.
But I believe in Free Will.
I have no choice.
Review later.
“I am rapture ready!”
I love that. Me too.
I am rapture ready!
12 posted on 5/11/2017, 7:17:50 PM by Dr. Sivana The premiums can’t be beat.
LOL! In the immortal words of Billy Preston, "Nothing from nothing leaves nothing..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aj5DccgBYeM
TULIP humor. Funny.
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