Posted on 06/21/2016 8:34:50 AM PDT by Kaslin
In 1862, a man named Lt. Charles H. Colley of Gray, ME was killed during the Battle of Cedar Mountain. When his grieving family opened up the casket that was supposed to contain their son, they were stunned to discover that a fully uniformed Confederate soldier had been shipped to them instead. Having no way to identify the soldier, and also lacking the means to ship him back to Virginia, Lt. Colley's family decided to bury him in Gray Village Cemetery alongside the Union soldiers who had been killed in the war. They figured that this unknown Confederate's family would appreciate the gesture, even though they'd never find out about it. The Ladies of Gray, a group of mothers whose sons were either missing, injured, or killed in the war, paid to put up a headstone for this unknown Confederate.
The headstone's inscription is simple and gut-wrenching: "Stranger. A soldier of the late war. Erected by the Ladies of Gray."
For the first 90-something years after Stranger's most unexpected arrival in Maine, his headstone was treated the same as all of the other veterans buried at the cemetery. Since 1956, however, a Confederate battle flag has been placed next to Stranger's gravesite each Memorial Day--a pop of solid red amidst a sea of American flags.
This past Father's Day, while visiting family back in my home state of Maine, I had the chance to pay a visit to the Confederate Stranger's grave, and seeing the stone was a very sobering experience. Gray sent more people to fight for the Union Army per capita than any small town in Maine, and nearly 200 of them didn't get to come home. The people of Gray, especially mothers whose sons could have been shot at or killed by Stranger, had every right to have simply buried Stranger in an unmarked grave in a field somewhere in the town. It would have been completely understandable--this person was, after all, an enemy soldier during a time of war. Instead, they recognized their shared humanity with this unknown man, and buried him alongside local heroes and treated him like one of their own.
Which brings me to today. While the nation certainly isn't as polarized as it was during the 1860s, the situation is pretty bad. People are going out of their way to isolate themselves in a bubble of only their own views. Take a look at what people are saying on Facebook about people they once called their friends: (language warning)
We've come a long way from 1862, but not entirely in a good way. People are quick to use a person's political beliefs to define them as a person, when in reality, politics are just a piece of the puzzle that makes people, people. We're all different, and somehow in the last 150 years it has become acceptable to completely remove someone from your life (or ask them to remove themselves) because of political differences. That's insane.
As a society, we should look to the actions of the Ladies of Gray for inspiration on how to behave with decency and respect in times of fighting and conflict. In 1862, America was at a war with itself--it doesn't get more polarized than that. If the Ladies of Gray could find it within themselves to create and maintain a dignified memorial to a man who was quite literally trying to kill their sons before he died, there's no excuse for the rest of us to not get along.
This election cycle has been a doozy, there's no denying that. The rhetoric being spewed by both sides is borderline nasty, and we're a nation divided once again. Despite this, it's important to remember that we have more commonalities than differences--and that through it all, we're all still human beings...regardless of who receives our vote in November.
Politics follow culture today, so identifying yourself with a political party is pretty much tattooing a label on your forehead.
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Nice story and I do know these things happened. It’s sad that the Confederate flag - which used to be sold along with the Union at battlefields all over the east has been banned. This splintering is so dangerous to America.
I'm INFECTED !
I read your tag line !
I’m too much Mississippi and W. Michigan to EVER be so damn petty to ever have written such stuff on Facebook.
Seeing that civil war story seriously made me misty though. America was like that still just 35 years ago. We were like that 15 years ago for a brief moment too.
The ladies of Gray shared a common Christian heritage which created unspoken cultural norms, with their Southern counterparts. That bound them even though their sons were killing each other.
“While the nation certainly isn’t as polarized as it was during the 1860s,”
We absolutely are. This is a very divided time. In all honesty, one side is revolutionary socialist and truly despises everything we ever learned about our country as kids in school. Then their is our side that likes thanksgiving and all that comes with it.
One small example. the men who actually fought the civil war had many reunions/BBQ/picnics afterwards. One in 1913 was nearly as big as the battle. It was complete with a reenactment of Picketts Charge, only the confederates were met at the wall with cool drinks and handshakes.
Its a joke to see people today more mad about the confederacy than people who fought against it.
The affliction manifests itself in many forms! Monitor you symptoms closely!
VavaVOOM !
It sure is, and it is a shame.
One small example. the men who actually fought the civil war had many reunions/BBQ/picnics afterwards. One in 1913 was nearly as big as the battle. It was complete with a reenactment of Picketts Charge, only the confederates were met at the wall with cool drinks and handshakes.
Its a joke to see people today more mad about the confederacy than people who fought against it.””
Ask yourself who has stirred this hatred for their fellow Christian Americans? ANS: Barack Hussein Obama, homowood, and the old media. Think about it.
Waiting for the race baiting south bashing contingent here to show up and shite on the floor
A Disease in the Public Mind: A New Understanding of Why We Fought the Civil War
In this riveting, character-driven history, one of our most respected historians traces the diseases in the public mind—the distortions of reality—that destroyed George Washington's vision of a united America and inflicted the tragedy that still divide's the nation's soul.
I agree.
The only difference is we are polarized not on a state by state basis as in 1860 but on a house to house basis.
There is Christianity and a thin veneer of civility holding the right back back but there is nothing comparable on the left. There is no violence because the left is winning.
The US was more civilized in those days....there was a thing known as honor
Big differences in CWII and CWII. The concepts of honor, integrity, virtue were so intensely held one could almost look at CWII as a fight over which side was more virtuous. The north for abolition at any cost or the south for considering a foreign invasion the epitome of rude behavior and an insult to honor that required an answer.
CWII will be the ultimate in asymmetrical morality. The only winner will be the foreign entity that becomes the subsequent world power. We can hope that CWII leaves a nation so destroyed no foreign power would want it.
Interesting times.
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