Posted on 05/26/2015 9:21:40 AM PDT by Kaslin
So Memorial Day is over. You had a great time with whomever, but let me guess—it was not so great on the highway, when about 100 million others joined you on the asphalt jungle. In just about six weeks, we’ll get to do it again for Independence Day, an apt name for any day on the roadways when the morons amongst us demonstrate just how independent they can be.
My email inbox recently gave me the “Bill of Non-Rights” with stuff like (“You do not have the right to a free house…,” etc.), and so, here’s my stab at a few “New Rules for Some Drivers.”
Preamble
WE the people of the United States built vast ribbons of transportation variously called roads, highways, interstates, or turnpikes. Each of them is designed to move people and their vehicles from place to place efficiently, and accidents with injuries and death are low probabilities as long as each driver demonstrates a modicum of reason, safety, and courtesy while operating their vehicle. Toward that end, each state has devised a manual for operator survival. WE know everyone read it at least once. WE understand, however, that some have discarded these carefully written rules, instituting their own entitlement philosophy instead, simply because they are better than everyone else. For the special “some” of you, the rest of us would like to mention our decreasing tolerance for a few things—besides abusing drugs and alcohol—you may not do while driving:
You may not camp in the left lane, talk on your cell, or text, or engage in other intensely personal activities, slowing while doing so, even if your girlfriend is dumping you for being a self-centered piece of work. She is probably right. Unless you’re going faster than the rest of us (passing?), move over.
In construction zones, you may not pass all those who followed signage instruction to form one lane. Would you crash a bank line? A grocery line? Surprise—we have to get there, too. When a trucker moves to the empty lane, keeping pace with the turtle-like traffic, the rest of us do not honk or swear. Why? We’re glad they keep clowns like you from making the delay so much longer than it needs to be.
You are not entitled to treat the highway as your personal Dodgem ride at an amusement park. That means kissing the bumper in front of you at eighty miles per hour on I-Whatever puts you in the category of stupid, reckless, or crazy. Maybe all three? But remember: if you act like Putin, don’t expect everyone else to act like Obama with a fake red line. For the men who think highways are a high-definition video game, if after threatening everyone else’s very existence, you flip your car during one of these maneuvers, don’t expect cards or flowers.
You are not entitled to stand on your brakes for a turn you knew you were going to make, and then turn on your signal as you make the turn. The exercise you get in flicking the lever will be just as great if you do it as all states require: signal your turn well before you brake.
If your car has Bluetooth, you may not make left turns into heavy traffic while talking to the phone in your left ear, holding a cigarette, shushing your kids, and steering—scaring the living hell out of us. This is not brilliant multi-tasking, ladies (sorry, it’s nearly always you). Get connected!
Are there other “New Rules” I didn’t mention? Have I touched a nerve with the self-important practitioners of stress, injury, and death? I hope so. The rest of us want the next driving jaunt to be much more pleasant, with or without you.
Nice drawing. Too bad it’s not reality!
I remember when they widened Fort Campbell BLVD (Highway 41A) here in Clarksville from a 4way lane with a median to a 6way (three lanes going North and three lanes going south and the median becoming a turning lane. Anyway when I noticed some idiot trying to cut in I pulled over to the line so the idiot couldn't pass. When the other cars noticed what I did, they did the same. I made sure I watched the traffic though
The only place they seem to stop is in traffic circles even when they have the right away.
Traffic Circle Lesson No.1: Traffic circles are not stop signs. Yield to traffic within the circle that is coming from the left (or to the right if in Ireland). You do not have to come to a complete stop when entering a traffic circle except when yielding to another vehicle that is already in the circle, and you do not have to stop when you are in the circle to allow another vehicle to enter the circle.
Just sayn'...
INCOMING!
5.56mm
Yep, I’ve seen a few of them. Law of averages says karma will catch up to them if that behavior continues long enough, problem is we’re never there to observe/enjoy it when it happens...............sport bikes are the same, act like idiots.
I hate to stereotype, but sometimes there is good reason: Asians as a whole are really bad drivers regardless of their SAT scores. The good news is that they generally drive too slow to hurt someone.
I’m here to tell you many people simply cannot accurately process 1 light and two wheels as being another vehicle particularly at night, when the motorcycle is coming towards them. Their brains are looking for a box with two lights. Saw a rider get creamed this way one dark morning a few years ago. He was doing everything right (bright clothes, right of way, etc.) and the SUV turned right into his path. My guess is other oncoming headlights confused or drowned out his headlight giving the appearance of the rider being further away.
Then there are the people on meds, diabetics with morning blurred vision, etc.
That accident reminded me why I gave up riding in my 20s -after a very similar incident happened to me. I only lost a chunk out of my calf which eventually healed.
For a motorcyclist, the most dangerous time in traffic is being between two vehicles. By placing themselves to the side or lane splitting, it’s giving themselves an out and improving their visibility which, exposed on two wheels, may very well save their lives. The sooner the rider can separate themselves from the tons of metal piloted by ignorant, distracted, impatient idiots, the safer they will be.
An added benefit of lane splitting means drivers like you don’t have all those motorcycles to sit behind in traffic, which means you are already closer to your destination.
Give them a break and keep that door shut. Rider’s trying to stay alive is tough enough already.
Physics clashes with emotions (based on people’s idea of “fairness”). I say use both lanes and merge at the end. At any rate, the optimum method ought to be taught in driver’s ed. People who obey the rules and follow the signs that say “move over” shouldn’t be taken advantage of by those who think the signs don’t apply to them. An improvement might be to not have the signs start nagging you miles before the merge. It would be better if they let you know where the merge was so you could be prepared instead of moving over miles in advance.
Related peeve: One lane bridges where cars take turns one at a time in each direction. This takes about 30 seconds per car. If 3 cars went in each direction, it would add on about 5 seconds and would take 35 seconds for 3 cars, which is much more efficient. This should also be taught and/or there should be a signs that says 3 cars go at a time in each direction.
“For a motorcyclist, the most dangerous time in traffic is being between two vehicles. “
LOL! Putting yourselves within inches of metal masses is safer?
Statistics show that the most dangerous times are when he hits a left turning car and
When he is drunk.
Those two are about 80% of the fatalities.
I won’t add to the above the helment usage.
LOL...too bad that third car back will let this jackwagon cut in line :(
I have to enter the military installation where I work through a main gate that has a 2 lane road up to the gate. It has 3 auto lanes and 1 large/truck lane. At certain times of the day, mainly in the early morning, they only have one lane open for traffic and the line for ID checks can get backed up for over a mile in some instances.
The whole situation can be a mess and no one is sure if it’s by design or just laziness on the part of the guards.
There are certain drivers who will not get in line for their turn and go all the way up to the front of the line and be allowed in by idiots. This only delays our opportunity to get through the ID check.
It has gotten to the point where other vehicles now in the correct lane, waiting their turn, will block the other lane, preventing them from cutting the line...
There’s gonna be a shooting one day.
I quit riding after 2 separate instances where oncoming traffic on 2 lane roads REFUSED to get back in their lane when passing other cars...I flashed my headlight from LOW to HIGH like a beacon and they still REFUSED to merge back into their lane.
I was run off the road both times...after the 2nd time, I got home and promptly rolled the bike out onto the driveway with a FOR SALE sign on it. Sold it within the hour...
I do miss riding, but I like living more.
I understand your frustration. I think the analysis that I read had to do with highway traffic where there is no gate but rather a stream of stop and go traffic. When cars move in multiple lanes and “fill-in” the empty spots more cars will get through a given point than when cars remain in a single line. I doubt the analysis would hold where there was an extended pause at the gate guard.
LOL, yep!
See my #52...it’s exactly as you said.
True, but I’ve been wanting to post that image for a while now...
This thread seemed like the perfect opportunity.
When traffic is moving towards a merge point, I try to do what you mentioned...just find a hole, get in line and keep moving.
Here’s the scenario:::
Guy sees a rider splitting lanes.
Guy opens door on the rider.
Rider is gravely injured.
Guy is also injured from debris coming into his vehicle, if not the entire bike.
Motorcycle is totaled.
Guy’s car is totaled.
Police and ambulances are called.
Rider is in the hospital with his family praying for him by his bedside.
Guy is most likely in hospital with police awaiting his exit to arrest him.
All because Guy wanted to be the “lane police”.
Sometimes slow, overly-cautious drivers are more of a threat than someone that is going like traffic needs to go.
I despise overly-cautious drivers. Sure, there is a time to slow down and play it safe... be safe all the time... but there is also a time to GO. Go Go GO, or get out of the way so others can GO.
I haven’t quit riding, but I haven’t been on my bike in about 2 years.
After years of ending up in bars and riding home at 3am with my wife on the back... its kinda like the Gambler song... ‘you gotta know when to fold em”.
I realized my lucky hand wasn’t going to last forever. Sooner or later gonna get dealt a loser.
My wish for people who cut the line when traffic is down to a single lane due to construction is that they burn in the fiery pit of hell for all of eternity.
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