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What Happened to Dads?
The National Catholic Register ^ | 4-1-13 | Matt Archbold

Posted on 04/01/2013 2:14:38 PM PDT by marcbold

My wife recently chaperoned a dance for junior high schoolers at a Catholic school. She working the door when another of the chaperones, a father of one of the students in attendance, hurried over and asked her what he was supposed to do about an eighth grade girl making out with an 8th grade guy in the middle of the dance floor.

“That’s not ok, is it?” he asked her. “Should we be doing something about this?”

The man truly didn’t know what his responsibilities were. My wife was stunned by the question. She was about to answer when another man came up to her and asked her the same question about the kissing couple. “It’s not O.K.,” she said. “Tell them to stop!”

From what I understand, after a lot of eyerolls from the couple, they stopped mauling each other with their mouths. But here’s the thing - what they were doing was completely expected. Kids do dumb things. What the kids did was something kids have been trying to do since kids were invented. Nothing new there.

What has changed in recent years are parents. Can you imagine just forty years ago two fathers frozen and completely unaware of what to do about two eighth graders kissing passionately on the dance floor? What’s happened to men? What’s happened to Dads?...

(Excerpt) Read more at ncregister.com ...


TOPICS: Catholic; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: children; dads; fathers; morals
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1 posted on 04/01/2013 2:14:38 PM PDT by marcbold
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To: marcbold

2 posted on 04/01/2013 2:17:45 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: marcbold

Answer: feminism


3 posted on 04/01/2013 2:18:50 PM PDT by WVNan
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To: marcbold
That’s not ok, is it?” he asked her. “Should we be doing something about this?” ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ANSWER Get Rev. Mother Superior over with her Convent issue ruler!  photo Nun_ruler.jpg Problem solved
4 posted on 04/01/2013 2:19:59 PM PDT by Morgana (Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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To: WVNan

Nan if by “feminism” you mean by my post 4 then yes.


5 posted on 04/01/2013 2:21:08 PM PDT by Morgana (Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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To: marcbold

And always make a point to be cleaning your gun when a potential suitor comes to the house to pick up your daughter.


6 posted on 04/01/2013 2:24:51 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: marcbold

What happened to Dads? Feminists, over-indulged children, family court judges, and a pop culture that portrays them as the family idiot who just can’t “get with the times”. Everything we do is too little, too late, too much, too early, too harsh, or too soft. Domestic violence has now been defined down to the point where it includes “criticism”, or questioning how his wife spends the money.

In short, we’re afraid to take any action. Everything we do can cost us everything and no one appreciates the effort anyway.


7 posted on 04/01/2013 2:25:37 PM PDT by Bryanw92 (Sic semper tyrannis)
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To: dfwgator

And always make a point to be cleaning your gun when a potential suitor comes to the house to pick up your daughter.


Tell him you “have a backhoe and 20 acres and they’ll never find your body”.


8 posted on 04/01/2013 2:27:31 PM PDT by laplata (The Answer To 1984 Is 1776)
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To: marcbold

What makes your wife think that they did not know what to do?

They knew perfectly well what to do, they were seeking a ‘group consensus’ before taking action.

In particular, they were making sure that the female chaperone in the room was going to support their action.

When I was chaperoning my daughters high school dances, the situation was reversed. A mom asked me and another dad to break up the grope session.

Unfortunately, breaking them up led to the second problem of the night. The young lad was too drunk to stand. The young lad spent most of the rest of the night in the men’s room hugging his favorite toilet !


9 posted on 04/01/2013 2:28:34 PM PDT by Pikachu_Dad (Impeach Sen Quinn)
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To: marcbold

Went to catholic HS in the early 60s. We danced as close as they would let us (the priests and nuns and lay chaperones).
What we did on dates after that would not have passed muster with the religious who ran the school. At that age you can only watch them for so long before they find a place to do whatever they please(or whatever the girl would allow ).

Not trying to undermine what you are trying to do. Just stating the facts as they were near 50 years ago and some things don’t change.


10 posted on 04/01/2013 2:30:25 PM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: marcbold
What’s happened to men? What’s happened to Dads?

One word: feminism.

America is falling into the hell that has been perpetrated onto the black community, and if you don't stand up to now, you will end up with the same results: massive OOW children, feral kids, and poverty.

11 posted on 04/01/2013 2:30:25 PM PDT by Clock King
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To: marcbold

What’s happened to men? What’s happened to Dads?...


Well... That really quite simple. No matter what we say or what we do and what sort of example we set... We’re wrong.

Where did it start? I’m not really sure, feminism maybe? A big point was no-fault divorce and the family court system. Dad’s are evil and never good parents. Yes that’s a stereotype but it’s actually pretty accurate.

Then there’s TV, Dad’s are the most common butt of jokes on a sitcom. Commercials, Oh dear lord when was the last one made that showed an intelligent Father in a family setting. (I really don’t know, I quit watching TV for my blood pressure in the late 90’s.)

So when I go to the school as part of my grand-daughter’s activities when parents are invited I am not surprised to see that Dad’s are in the minority.


12 posted on 04/01/2013 2:31:03 PM PDT by The Working Man
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To: The Working Man
Well... That really quite simple. No matter what we say or what we do and what sort of example we set... We’re wrong.

If a man is alone in a forest and his wife isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong?

13 posted on 04/01/2013 2:33:24 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: laplata

Don’t forget to add, “I aint afraid to go back to prison, boy”


14 posted on 04/01/2013 2:34:30 PM PDT by cuban leaf (Were doomed! Details at eleven.)
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To: cuban leaf

Don’t forget to add, “I aint afraid to go back to prison, boy”


LOL!!!!


15 posted on 04/01/2013 2:42:54 PM PDT by laplata (The Answer To 1984 Is 1776)
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To: Vaquero

Went to catholic HS in the early 60s. We danced as close as they would let us (the priests and nuns and lay chaperones).


Same here. We had Christian Brothers. They were tough, too.

At one of those dances I learned that some girls wore “falsies”.


16 posted on 04/01/2013 2:45:26 PM PDT by laplata (The Answer To 1984 Is 1776)
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To: marcbold

I may be way out of line but I don’t really agree with the article or the example used. When I was a kid, Dads didn’t chaperone school events. That was the Moms jobs. Dads would coach basketball or a sport, show up at the science fair but they didn’t “tread” on the chaperoning deal. That being said, kudos to the Dads in this article for chaperoning and volunteering their time. Perhaps they felt “out of place” and unsure what is acceptable in a school environment and didn’t want to step on toes. At least they pointed out a situation and asked for direction. IMHO... if the writer of the article wanted to make a point about lack of a moral compass for Fathers... this wasn’t a good example. Just my opinion...


17 posted on 04/01/2013 2:51:12 PM PDT by momtothree
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To: Clock King

A few years ago one of my young workers got married. His mother was at the wedding. He was a younger fella so naturally he requested a gangsta rap song that had a lot of motherf&^*%r this and that and other non flattering words. One of my junior supervisors just looked at me then got up and took him to the side.

We had more family friendly music the rest of the wedding.


18 posted on 04/01/2013 2:53:10 PM PDT by USAF80
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To: marcbold

At our dances, our dean had a little bell she rang if you were dancing to closely or whatever; then she would run between you like a mac truck. She never missed a one.


19 posted on 04/01/2013 2:55:00 PM PDT by freekitty (Give me back my conservative vote; then find me a real conservative to vote for)
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To: laplata

My HS was run by Marist brothers. But the dances were run by the parish many miles from the HS. and the parish priests and the grade school nuns ran the dances. And yes it is amazing what tissues and rolled up sox could do to fill out some missing curves. This was easily fond out with the slow dances. Till the ‘authorities’ pried you apart.


20 posted on 04/01/2013 3:03:02 PM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: Vaquero
whatever the girl would allow

That's the real goal of feminism/progressivism, getting the girls to let you. If modesty and virginity are undermined, women are relegated to sex objects and mere property.

It's no irony that the rights women struggled for through all of human history are being lost with their full and enthusiastic consent.

21 posted on 04/01/2013 3:13:44 PM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
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To: Pikachu_Dad

Brilliant - they’re cowards, complete moral and I suspect physical cowards.


22 posted on 04/01/2013 3:14:10 PM PDT by 1010RD (First, Do No Harm)
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To: Vaquero

LOL

A slow dance is how I found out. LOL

We had a Brother that would pop you in the head with a chalk board eraser. He was accurate, too.

Can you imagine a teacher popping a kid with an eraser today?


23 posted on 04/01/2013 3:16:02 PM PDT by laplata (The Answer To 1984 Is 1776)
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To: dfwgator
"And always make a point to be cleaning your gun when a potential suitor comes to the house to pick up your daughter."

As a twenty-ish guy, I would find that pretty underwhelming. Throw in some facepaint, some kind of medieval horse-gutting device and a bottle of strong alchohol on the table beside you and I might be a little perturbed. A little.

24 posted on 04/01/2013 3:19:11 PM PDT by Wyrd bi ful ard (Gone Galt, 11/07/12)
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To: The Working Man
‘Then there’s TV, Dad’s are the most common butt of jokes on a sitcom. Commercials, Oh dear lord when was the last one made that showed an intelligent Father in a family setting. (I really don’t know, I quit watching TV for my blood pressure in the late 90’s.)’

This trend began far earlier. A major transitional stage in moving from ‘Father Knows Best’ to ‘Father Molests’ which appears to be the ‘new normal’ for TV was “Father id a Fool’. This was a big part of late 50’s and 60’s sitcoms with the Bill Ewell's Show being the most egregious example. We have become so accustomed to the routine disparagement and even vilification of white middle age , middle class father figures we don't even notice the trope any more. One has to go back to the early 60’s to find cultural critics noticing this pattern. Two card carrying liberals, the Hechingers, who were the NYT ‘Education Columnists’ for a long time, wrote a book published about 1963 titled ‘Teenage Tyranny’. What it described was the opening and middle stages of the infantilizing of American culture by advertisers wand businesses who understood how much discretionary income spending adolescents in the consumerist 50’s and 60’s impacted. The result was to influence programming to use themes for TV shows that adolescents would supposedly identify with. One sure fire target of attraction ws denigrating father figures. This is a fascinating book to read today. Later in the 60’s and 70’s real cultural radicals began being hired as various types of TV scripters and idea persons. The assault of father figures and authority in general and the general normative structure of U.S. society moved on apace until we have the combination of PC, cultural marxism and smut that form the basis of most television ‘drams’ or sitcoms.

25 posted on 04/01/2013 3:44:07 PM PDT by robowombat
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd
Where does one even find medieval horse-gutting devices? I only have ones for humans.
26 posted on 04/01/2013 3:47:57 PM PDT by Colorado Doug (Now I know how the Indians felt to be sold out for a few beads and trinkets)
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To: marcbold

The dad’s are off making more kids for the prom.


27 posted on 04/01/2013 3:50:12 PM PDT by SgtHooper (The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.)
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To: marcbold

What’s happened is a societal deemphasis on their importance, and with the radicalization of the feminist movement, a general dislike and distrust of them.. especially those who seek to teach their kids traditional values. In New America, fathers aren’t viewed as an integral part of children’s upbringing.. That’s been supplanted by Daddy Government.


28 posted on 04/01/2013 3:58:25 PM PDT by ScottinVA (Gun control: Steady firm grip, target within sights, squeeze the trigger slowly...)
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To: Colorado Doug
If you can't find the proper gutting device, show the kid one of these.


29 posted on 04/01/2013 4:01:20 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Colorado Doug
I had a great reputation while my stepdaughter was in school. Unfortunately her grandparents were big time enablers of her delinquency. They would let her stay out all night and do whatever she wanted to and give her a hundred dollar bill anytime she was low on money. She was seeing this little thug wannabe. I busted them, found out where the punk's parents lived via the Internet and went over to pay them a visit. Judging from arrest records,they were the same kind of trash as their son. I just about knocked the door off the hinges to summon their attention. When the door was answered, I just started ripping into the two that came to the door. Once I finished my rant to my satisfaction, one of them pointed across the street and meekly said, “they live over there.” Kinda took a little wind out of my sails for my next performance but I successfully got my point across and they never saw each other again.

Of course I went rounds time and again with her and her grandparents but that was not nearly as funny as what happened that day. In the end, she turned out good.

30 posted on 04/01/2013 4:07:46 PM PDT by Colorado Doug (Now I know how the Indians felt to be sold out for a few beads and trinkets)
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To: marcbold

The government ceased it’s protection of them (that’s why these fathers were frozen), and then paid a bounty for divorcing them.

Worked like a charm.
Now everyone needs the government more than ever.
And the media makes more money from advertising.

It’s a “win-win”!


31 posted on 04/01/2013 4:09:43 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat Party!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
Ha Ha! I love it! Thankfully, I don’t have much need for one any more. The stepdaughter is off and married with two daughters of her own. Serves her right. I figure that she has about another five years before she gets her turn.
32 posted on 04/01/2013 4:13:20 PM PDT by Colorado Doug (Now I know how the Indians felt to be sold out for a few beads and trinkets)
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To: Clock King

“Poppa was a rollin’ stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died
All he left us was alone”


33 posted on 04/01/2013 4:20:35 PM PDT by RinaseaofDs
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To: robowombat

Good post. Ties it up nicely.


34 posted on 04/01/2013 4:34:44 PM PDT by spankalib (The downside of liberty is the need to tolerate those who despise it.)
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To: marcbold
What Happened to Dads?
"Be a Dad!" (Book Review)
Divine Fatherhood is the Source of Human Fatherhood: Fathers as Gift
Priests of the Domestic Church: A Father's Day Homily (Tissue Alert)

A Prayer for Fathers
No Better Gift for Father’s Day
Gift of Fatherhood: Kneel before the Father from Whom Every Family in Heaven on Earth is named
Fathers are important
Fathers
Fatherhood and Religion
The New Catholic Manliness (about priests)
Dads: Men for All Seasons
The Father of Fathers
On The Demise of Fatherhood

Father’s Day 2009: “An End to Buffoonish Fathers”
Of Treacheries, Tykes, and the Trinity (Fatherhood, Family, Effects of Abortion)
Priests and the importance of fatherhood [Catholic Caucus]
[OPEN] The Government, Divorce, and the War on Fatherhood
Study Shows Christianity Makes Men Better Husbands and Fathers
Study Shows Christianity Makes Men Better Husbands and Fathers (Open)
Honoring Thy Fathers
Priests of the Domestic Church: A Father's Day Homily
The Blueprint for Heroic Family Life [Fathers' Day] [Ecumenical]
Honoring Thy Fathers

A Father's Tough Love
Children Who Have An Active Father Figure Have Fewer Psychological And Behavioral Problems
Where Have All the Christian Men Gone? My Conversation with John Eldredge
The Transforming Power of Prayer [Part 1] (Catholic Man)
The Transforming Power of Prayer, Part 2 (Catholic Man)
The 10 Paradoxes of Fatherhood, There is a certain immediacy about motherhood that cannot
The Story of Champions [Father's Day]
What Makes a Man a Hero? [Father's Day]
The New Catholic Manliness
Applying St. Benedict's Rule to Fatherhood and Family Life - Using 6th-Century Wisdom Today

35 posted on 04/01/2013 4:48:21 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: marcbold

As I said on anothr thread — Next year when Holy Thursday rolls around.......I encourage all men and young boys to go forward and volunteer to have their feet washed! Then we won’t have this women and girls thing happening.

Go activist!


36 posted on 04/01/2013 4:49:51 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: Colorado Doug

LOL! Hope your state gets rid of the morons running things. It’s a weird day when NM is saner about guns than CO.


37 posted on 04/01/2013 5:39:15 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: dfwgator

The first time I saw this application was right here on FR, many many moons ago, and someone (I can’t remember who) posted answers to the questions. It was one of the most hilarious posts I’ve ever seen, and I CAN’T FIND IT!!

You don’t happen to have it, do you?

Regards,


38 posted on 04/01/2013 5:40:01 PM PDT by VermiciousKnid (Sic narro nos totus!)
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To: marcbold

I suppose dads don’t say “I’ll kill you and make another one just like you” any more......


39 posted on 04/01/2013 5:44:32 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
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To: Tijeras_Slim

I’m quicker with my pocket knife.


40 posted on 04/01/2013 6:07:15 PM PDT by B4Ranch (When democracy turns to tyranny, we still get to vote. We just won't use voting boxes to do it.)
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To: marcbold

That situation is easy. Both of those men knew that if the girl’s mother was the wrong type of woman, they could get blasted.

Our society today is very contemptuous of men, and treats most women as a spoiled child. Men have learned not to interfere in such things in order to survive.


41 posted on 04/01/2013 6:09:39 PM PDT by redgolum ("God is dead" -- Nietzsche. "Nietzsche is dead" -- God.)
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To: dfwgator; marcbold
And always make a point to be cleaning your gun when a potential suitor comes to the house to pick up your daughter.

A friend of mine married a widow with twin daughters. Around age 13 one of them brought a boy home. Daryl took the young man into his home office where his .44 mag was laying on the desk. He explained that he could shoot the balls off a fly at 30 feet with it and asked the young man to imagine what it could do to him at the same distance.

He told me that his step daughter wasn't real happy with him, but he got over real quick.

42 posted on 04/01/2013 6:15:31 PM PDT by verga (A nation divided by Zero!)
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To: marcbold

Oh dear. My dad would have removed me from the dance and I would have been grounded until I graduated from high school.


43 posted on 04/01/2013 7:13:16 PM PDT by La Lydia
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To: dfwgator

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSDAf2q6SbQ

Rodney Atkins Cleaning this gun (come on in boy)


44 posted on 04/01/2013 7:15:37 PM PDT by ilovesarah2012
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To: momtothree; marcbold

When were you a kid? It’s been a slippery slope. It used to be that men were high school teachers and nobody got away with anything. Then the women teachers came and brought the NEA and Feminism with them, etc.


45 posted on 04/01/2013 8:14:37 PM PDT by donna (Pray for revival.)
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To: marcbold

Take the boy out for a “get to know you” session.
At the range.

If nothing else you’ve taught another Leftist about guns.


46 posted on 04/01/2013 8:20:06 PM PDT by ctdonath2 (3% of the population perpetrates >50% of homicides...but gun control advocates blame metal boxes.)
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To: Salvation

Ping for later reading!


47 posted on 04/01/2013 9:26:57 PM PDT by Bshaw (A nefarious deceit is upon us all!)
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To: 1010RD

It had to do with the chemistry between 2 young people and the filter religion and society may put on it.
Remember we are talking about 1963 not now. Feminism was the wet dream of the left which was not making that much headway at that time.


48 posted on 04/02/2013 4:19:59 AM PDT by Vaquero (Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
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To: momtothree
IMHO... if the writer of the article wanted to make a point about lack of a moral compass for Fathers... this wasn’t a good example. Just my opinion...

I agree with you. We follow Archbold in the Register - my wife showed this article to me when it first appeared. She pointed out to me that the two dads in the article will likely discover that Archbold thinks they're not manly men, which is an interesting opinion for a guy who's essentially a house husband. I'm not picking on the guy - there's nothing wrong with doing what works best for your family and sometimes the way to be a man is to step back and let your wife do the providing while the husband takes care of the homefront. But his situation got me thinking that Archbold may feel he has something to prove and is finding bad Dads under every rock.

Even if the example doesn't make a case, Archbold's underlying point is certainly true - good dads are few and far between. I suspect decent Dads are missing in the homes of the two kids on the dance floor. I'm also very certain that the two Dads Archbold highlighted would've put a stop to the show immediately if one of their own kids were in it. But other people's kids are tricky. If there's not immediate danger or obvious wrongdoing (and two 14 year olds putting on a kissing show is on the cusp) putting a stop to things can put you on the wrong side of an obnoxious parent.

49 posted on 04/02/2013 11:48:29 AM PDT by old and tired
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To: Bryanw92
Children who are raised ‘without their fathers’ account for:

63 percent of youth suicides.

71 percent of pregnant teenagers.

90 percent of homeless and runaway children.

85 percent of behavioral disorders exhibited by children.

71 percent of high school dropouts, in the United States.

50 posted on 04/02/2013 11:50:42 AM PDT by caww
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