Wedding-day kiss will be couple's first

SeattleTimes.nwsource.com ^ | August 9, 2003

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

But...but...How will they *know* if they enjoy s*x if they don't try it with many partners before commiting to marriage??

/sarcasm_off>

[4mycountry]

I can understand no sex before marriage, and I can sort of understand no kissing before marriage if I strain my brain, but no hugging?? That's a bit much, imo.

[John Beresford Tipton]

Whatever the Bride brings to the wedding,
he will be bringing some blue things.

[Gumption]

"I did have some emotion for her, not a lot," said Burwell,

I think this guy is ... unique.

[Gringo1]

"I did have some emotion for her, not a lot," said Burwell,

Minus the raging boner I presume.

[Pukin Dog]

What does one do when on their first night together, he trips over piles of tissues once stuffed in her bra, hitting his head on the Maglight he was about to hide under the bed after removing it from his trousers?

There should be one naked inspection performed to insure that the goods are the real thing?

[martin_fierro]

ROFL

[Drew68]

I can understand no sex before marriage, and I can sort of understand no kissing before marriage if I strain my brain, but no hugging?? That's a bit much, imo.

I'd love to be a fly on the wall in their honeymoon suite. I'm sure the attempts at consumation will be hysterical.

"Honey, what should I do now?
"I haven't a clue, dearheart. You tell me."

[Califcon]

"My only concern is that it's going to be so wonderful, one of us is going to faint," said Burwell.

At least they will not have that problem on the wedding night..I am sure everything will be over before his pants hit the floor....

[Sweet_Sunflower29]

What does one do when on their first night together, he trips over piles of tissues once stuffed in her bra, hitting his head on the Maglight he was about to hide under the bed after removing it from his trousers?

BWAHAHAHAHAH!

Now THAT was a wiping-the-watermelon-from-my-monitor laugh.


...departs from the desk to find clean towels...

[kcar]

Weirdos.

[martin_fierro]

Weirdos.

Testify.

Everyone knows the sex stops after marriage.

[SouthernFreebird]

They agreed to date, and they both admit the first month and a half was something of an effort.

Now thats pretty scary...they are prolly the only one for each other, I can't imagine there would be another person in the world who would accept no hugging or kissing before marriage.Jeez

[Pukin Dog]

Everyone knows the sex stops after marriage.

Considering that even the corner grocery store must tell you when what you bring home is going to expire, maybe men should start asking just when their wives plan to start smelling bad, growing mold and becoming a hazard to a man's health.

Maybe an exchange policy is in order, where you could take her back for another one (or your money back) if upon first opening the package, you discover that she has already gone sour?

[Monty22]

There's a scene in Scary Movie that I feel will be played out in real life here.

[Gumption]

Oh my. Your wife must be the luckiest woman on earth to have snagged such a charmer.

[DaughterOfAnIwoJimaVet]

Considering that even the corner grocery store must tell you when what you bring home is going to expire, maybe men should start asking just when their wives plan to start smelling bad, growing mold and becoming a hazard to a man's health.

Maybe an exchange policy is in order, where you could take her back for another one (or your money back) if upon first opening the package, you discover that she has already gone sour?

And men who think that usually look like Ron Jeremy (an individual, by the way, I became aware of reading FR) with one notable exception.

Their women could do worse than being returned to the store by a guy like that.

[Pukin Dog]

I never married. I could not get a money back guarantee at the dealership.

[Pukin Dog]

Down girl, t'was only a joke.

[Gumption]

I never married.

I'm absolutely beside myself.