Posted on 05/29/2019 11:03:45 PM PDT by Kaslin
So, you’re a barista with a problem – you took out $200K student loans to get that master’s degree from Gumbo State in “LGBTQ2#v& Experiences as Reflected in 17th Century Bolivian Folk Songs” and now you can’t find an uncaffeinated career. Worse, those fascist monsters who you took money from based on your agreement to pay it back with interest now expect you to pay the money back with interest despite the fact that you really don’t feel like it anymore.
Well, I have a fresh solution to this crisis.
It’s an innovative strategy that totally and permanently resolves this problem in a new and exciting way.
Ready?
Here goes.
How about you pay your own student debt?
That’s it. It’s as elegant as it is simple. You. Pay. Your. Own. Debts.
If you follow this bold, one-step program – the one step is you paying your debts – then you will eventually be debt-free. And best of all, I won’t have to pay any of your debts.
See, a lot of Democrat politicians are promising “free college,” but what they really mean is “free for you.” Someone has to pay, and that someone is me, and I need to level with you.
I am not interested in paying for your college.
Now, some may call me “greedy” or “selfish” for not wishing to work and then have the money I earned taken from me to provide things to you that you want but did not pay for instead of being able to spend it – the “it” being the money I earned – on things that I want. I am okay with that. I would much prefer having people who fundamentally misunderstand the concepts of greed and selfishness call me “greedy” and “selfish” than subsidize their educations, educations that evidently did not include learning about basic concepts like greed and selfishness.
I understand that your priorities for my money may differ from mine, but it being my money, my priorities should take precedence. Here is a short, partial list of things that I prioritize for my money over paying off your student loan debts:
1. A lease on a sweet German sedan
2. A delicious tri-tip sandwich
3. A walk-in humidor
4. Guns and ammo
5. A pedicure for my wife
6. A pedicure for me
7. A pedicure for my fat corgi Bitey
8. Literally anything else but your student loan debt
Now, those who support the idea of taking my money to give it to someone else so that someone else can have things he, she or xe wants rarely put it so bluntly. It’s never, “Well, I want this education but I don’t want to do the things necessary to pay for it. I want you other people to do the things necessary to pay for it.” Instead, it’s always put in some other way that makes them taking our money to spend on things they want appear as a favor to us, the people expected to do the work.
For instance, sometimes they say that us working to give other people free stuff is an “investment.” Again with the not understanding what words means…
Traditionally, with an investment, one gets a return on investment. No one ever explains what my return on investment for Kaden’s Marxist Puppetry degree might be, other than an occasional latte which I would still have to pay for. I prefer that I instead determine how to invest my own money in order to benefit myself, which I do not see as unreasonable since it is my money. Which I earned by working.
This is the beauty of my one-step student loan plan. It puts all this controversy aside. Pay your own student loan off. That’s it. End of discussion. Now get to work.
Note that I am not pointing out how I managed to fund my own education without asking strangers to chip in – actually, without forcing them to chip in, because if you don’t pay your taxes designed to fund “free college” people with guns will come to haul you away. The argument that “I paid for mine so you should pay for you own” is valid, but we need not even reach it. No one should ever be forced to give other people free stuff. It’s my money, and that’s reason enough why you can’t have it.
I certainly understand that academia is a scam and that the government allows lending to people who foolishly undertake debts that they cannot pay. I would stop it all – no government participation in the student loan industry and full bankruptcy dischargeability for student debts. Of course, this would mean many less people taking loans, and therefore fewer college students. No lose to society there. This means many colleges would actually start having to compete for students, and even – gasp – lower prices. Sounds good to me, though they would scream bloody murder – colleges have gotten fat off of loan money and many schools would go under without this pot of suckers’ cash. Oh well.
Sure, academia is a grift, but you did sign on the line that is dotted. You took the money. And I say that you pay it back instead of me.
Now, I have read many tales of woe from people who have taken out huge student loans and have not taken jobs that pay enough to support paying them off. Yes, this is a problem. But it is your problem.
Often, after I suggest my patented student loan debt resolution system – which is, in its entirety, “Pay your own debts” – people who have taken out debts they can’t pay will ask me “Well, how do I do that?”
And my answer is, “I don’t know, because it’s not my problem. It’s your problem. You’re an adult, with at least one degree, so you figure it out.”
See, it’s important to allocate responsibility. It is not my responsibility to provide a solution to your problems. Your problems are your problems. You solve them.
Now, I can provide some helpful suggestions, if you wish to hear them. You won’t like them, because all of them recognize that your problem is your problem, not mine, and all of them require you to do things that you would probably prefer not to do. These suggestions include:
1. Get a better job. You can thank President Trump for the record low unemployment rate. Sure, you might not be able to continue at your dream job because it does not pay enough, but too bad. I’d rather pay for my own dreams.
2. Get a second job. Yeah, that will cut into your free time. Better that than paying your debt off cutting into mine.
3. Spend less on things you enjoy in order to pay off your debt faster. Again, I would prefer you to sacrifice to pay off your debt instead of for me to sacrifice to pay off your debt.
There are probably other ways to pay off your debt, but I am not going to spend my time thinking about them. After all, your student debt is your problem, so you spend time thinking about how to pay it off.
Now, let me once more provide you with my student debt solution.
Here it is again.
Pay your own student debt.
Creating a debtor class of over-educated, under-smart serfs with gender studies degrees is another Cloward-Piven-seque ploy to undermine our society in the pursuit of the socialist Utopia our garbage ruling class seeks to command. Of course, this would be a Utopia built of envy, incompetence and lies. If you want to see the reality of the country they dream of, then check out my action-packed yet super-snarky novels about the United States’ split into red and blue countries, People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. Liberals hate my novels. The sissy castaways from the Weekly Standard call them “Appalling.” So, obviously you’ll call them “Awesome.”
Need to add:
21. Targets and Tannerite
It is not possible to work and go to college and graduate debt free. The costs have risen many times faster then inflation. Making things worse wages have stagnated. You have to get loans or just not go. It’s not 1975 anymore.
If the government “gives” people “free” college, then the tuition will go up rapidly, forcing the taxpayers to pay more every year. More and more people will go to college and get degrees that are now worth very little. Those degrees will lose their value as everyone now can get one, “free.”
You will need one of those worthless college degrees to get a job at a car wash.
In the end, “free” college will have been a total disaster, as are all socialist schemes.
Hear me out. Any student costs above the national tuition cap has to be financed by the institution and that portion of the debt should be able to be discharged in bankruptcy under chap. 7 and 13.
A lot of these kids are spending hundreds a month in weed, too. Weed and video games.
my daughter graduated from med school last week. We were fortunate to be able to pay for her undergad with scholarship help at a private university. Med school was a different story. Her total tuition and fees waas 76K/year. while we helped, she still has 250K in student loans. She is moving ya k in with us during her residency to save money to pay them off. At least she will eventually have an income stream high enough to handle the debt u less we turn to socialized medicine
My daughter and her husband paid back $60K in student loans in three years. They did what they needed to do. They ate beans and rice for those three years.
My daughter is 33 and is now a millionaire.
They had a plan. Made a schedule. Made it happen at all costs. Reaped the benefits.
Oh, and she is a nice person too.
Yeah those numbers are insane. And they complain we don’t have enough doctors and have to import them!
not only does she have that much debt but she will be 29 or 30 until she is out of trainings and finally able to make some money - oh and try to have a life. her friends have all had jobs, families, bought homes etc while she has lost a decade of her life. then people complain that doctors make too much.
This advice has served me very well over the years.
Fixed it.
My Niece’s Ex Boyfriend was bitching and moaning about his Student Loan Debt, going on and on about how a College Education should be free.
I explained that he voluntarily signed Documentation to get the money. Unless it was a situation where “either your signature or your Brains will be on that Contract”, he was on the hook for it.
I also explained to him that his Rights end at the tip of my Nose and the fold of my Wallet.
The original assertion was “Jubilee for all”, not “Jubilee for student loans”.
and did he major in anything where there might actually be a return on investment?
When I was about 12 years old my Father told me “nobody owes you a living, so shut up and get back to work”.
That “advice” pretty much stuck with me my entire Life.
Old guy here. I paid most of my way through college, Dad paid the rest when I needed a little help. I avoided taking on debt and worked weekends as a musician for additional income to sustain a marginal standard of living while staying in school and taking a full load of courses during the week.
I attended the best college I could afford which offered STEM degrees which I figured in my case would result in a better career path and income than a BA after I graduated. I made adjustments along the way starting out majoring in Electrical Engineering and ending with BS degrees in Math and Physics which provided a nice professional career path.
Fortunately I was able to shift into the field of Computer Science as it developed. (No such thing being taught in college at the time). As a result, computer hardware and software development provided me a nice income and career.
Anyway I was fortunate things turned out the way they did. But I set realistic goals, avoided drugs and debt, and was willing the adjust my goals as new opportunities presented themselves. I wanted to give up at times, but hell no. I kept pursing my goals despite the odds and agony of defeat.
The only thing I got for free was advice, the rest I worked my ass off to make happen. Today’s generation needs to shake the mental bullshit barriers that prevent them from achieving the success of other generations.
You was 100 percent correct to tell him off, and your niece is better off to have dumped him, which I assume she did.
What happened to the good old days when you robbed a bank to get cool stuff you wanted? Things were so much simpler back then. A shout out to John Dillinger.
I would like serious consideration of this concept.
We live in a world of debt and it's not good. Student loans are part of it, but the problem is much bigger than that.
I believe that debt is (mostly) avoidable but that certain people benefit from debt and have built a culture which depends on massive debt for nearly everyone.
Broad elimination of debt would be good for many, many people. Yes, it would be awful for those who hold the debt. But are they the Good Guys? Are the bankers the Good Guys?
Fixing the problem -- and I think it has to be fixed -- will be painful. But that's not a reason to not fix it. We will, of course, need to find a way not to revert to the same problem just a few years down the road.
I'm not an economist. I'm sure this issue is much tougher than I think it is. But it doesn't take a genius to know that we aren't going to pay off the nation's $22T debt. We're not going to pay it off. All I'm saying is that we should admit it.
The only other "solution" is to raise everyone's taxes so that more money can be funneled to the bankers -- although the debt still won't be paid off. Ever. I say: forget the tax increases. Forget the debt. Start a new game and play by better rules next time.
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