The American Lawn Needs to Die

Dallas Observer ^ | September 30, 2015 | Eric Nicholson

[Arec Barrwin]

He's got a point

[bigbob]

Doing my part through neglect, laziness, and attrition!

[ClearCase_guy]

I am way ahead of the crowd on this one.

[Resettozero]

Will read this later but there’s a break in the clouds and the sun is shining and all my neighbors have just started their mowers. Will read this after I’ve taken care of my portion of the American Dream.

R2z

[Bogey78O]

I don’t let people outside of my family venture onto my property and engage in activity that can cause injury.

[CodeToad]

Liberal utopian apartments. This is what they think people should live in. It is what all communists force people to live in.

[gubamyster]

He’s too lazy to mow his grass so he has deemed lawns outdated. Yeah, I guess paint on the house, and picking up trash in your yard is overrated too.

[freepertoo]

Every Summer I just pray that my lawn will burn up and die! I hate yard work (so, of course, I bought 3/4 of an acre...momentary insanity).

[Maceman]

I always thought the solution to the inconvenience and expense of lawn maintenance could be eliminated by having a zen rock garden instead of a grass lawn.

[jsanders2001]

> "Sometimes I borrow a gas mower from my fall-prone, 70-something-year-old neighbor, but between work and kids, this can be infrequent. The other day, I peeked outside the window and found that 70-something neighbor had taken it upon himself to mow our front yard. It's not something I'm proud of, but my wife and I figured it'd be best to retreat quietly from the windows. We wouldn't want to startle him and make him fall."

Now that's funny stuff there...lol

[Arec Barrwin]

I went to a party last week and the homeowner had all artificial grass in the backyard. I sort of liked it. And the family’s children seemed to like it too.

[Resolute Conservative]

I don’t let people outside of my family venture onto my property.

There that’s better.

[rigelkentaurus]

my 30 acres is a hay field - nice and even in height, blows in the wind - I love it - but I do mow a couple of times a year around the house as the tall grass hides varmints and I don’t want those up close to the house.

[driftless2]

If you don’t mow your lawn i.e. the grass in many parts of the country, when you step out to play with the kids you might find you and your family stepping on some unwanted yard guests. You know, snakes, scorpions, certain smelly mammals all of whom like deep grass for cover.

[Cincinatus]

Yeah — leftists always have a point. And their point is to tell you how to live.

[Carl Vehse]

If by “American lawns” he means “American leftists,” I will agree.

[jdege]

He might be right, in Dallas. Where I live, we get twice the rainfall as Dallas during the summer months.

[HiTech RedNeck]

Grass isn’t the only possible landscaping. It’s easier to tend though, and nobody says it really needs anything beyond a lawn mower if one is willing to tolerate some weeds.

[FreeReign]

[MinuteGal]

Lawns and outdoor barbecuing are in the enviromaniacs sights, rest assured.

Oops, you can add gasoline-guzzling, racist suburbanites to that list, also.

Leni