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The American Lawn Needs to Die
Dallas Observer ^ | September 30, 2015 | Eric Nicholson

Posted on 09/30/2015 8:49:25 AM PDT by Arec Barrwin

THE AMERICAN LAWN NEEDS TO DIE

BY ERIC NICHOLSONWEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2015

My first inkling that America's lawn obsession might not be terribly healthy came around 1995. We'd just moved into a new house in Far North Dallas, and 10- or 11-year-old me decided that the next-door neighbor's lawn — green and smooth as flawless as a golf-course fairway with manicured grass to cushion falls — was the perfect spot for football. The neighbor, a hard-nosed high school track coach, promptly ran us off and upbraided my father for letting me trespass. This struck me as backward. What good was such cushiony grass if not for play?

At the time, I chalked this up to my neighbor being an uptight jerk, an assessment I stand by. But that explanation is incomplete in that it overlooks the bigger picture: Lawns are awful.

This conclusion is admittedly self-serving. Two years ago, in one of those compromises a married person with two small children and two large dogs sometimes has to make, I agreed to swap our cramped apartment just south of White Rock Lake for a three-bedroom house in Richardson, but I was decidedly unenthusiastic about once again having a yard. Since then, I've waged a half-intentional campaign of aggressive neglect. We haven't watered since we've been there. I own a lawnmower, but it's one of those human-powered reel contraptions and it's no match for the shin-high bluestem that seems to spring up overnight. Sometimes I borrow a gas mower from my fall-prone, 70-something-year-old neighbor, but between work and kids, this can be infrequent. The other day, I peeked outside the window and found that 70-something neighbor had taken it upon himself to mow our front yard. It's not something I'm proud of, but my wife and I figured it'd be best to retreat quietly from the windows. We wouldn't want to startle him and make him fall.

But the awfulness of lawns is something close to an objective fact. Maintaining them is time-consuming and expensive. They suck up ungodly amounts of water. When it rains, their fertilizer-heavy runoff pollutes waterways. They pit neighbor against neighbor's kids. They are decadent and unsustainable totems of middle-class prosperity.

RELATED STORIES Long Live Expensive Water In Far North Dallas, Big Fences Make Mad Neighbors and a 9-year Court Battle Think Your Water Bill Is Too High? Blame the Rain. For several centuries, lawns were the exclusive purview of very rich Europeans, people who were wealthy enough to keep large swaths of land out of productive cultivation and afford the labor required to keep the grass neatly scythed. European-style lawns began to take root in America in the mid-1800s after Andrew Jackson Downing recommended expanses of "grass mown into a softness like velvet" as part of a popular gardening treatise he published in 1841. His ideas were later incorporated into the broad lawns of New York's Central Park and lush, pre-automobile suburbs like Riverside, Illinois, which were aped in subsequent decades by the developers of less exclusive suburbs. “No single feature of a suburban residential community contributes as much to the charm and beauty of the individual home and the locality as well-kept lawns,” declared Abraham Levitt, whose name would become synonymous with the post-war explosion of inexpensive, mass-produced suburbs. In post-war America, lawns became a standard feature of the single-family home.

The cumulative size of lawns is vast. By acreage, tur grass is the largest irrigated crop in America, according to a decade-old NASA estimate, covering three times the area devoted to corn. Clumped together, it would more than cover the state of Mississippi.

Lawns are clustered in cities and suburbs. Lawns are clustered in cities and suburbs. NASA Since the non-native grasses that compose most lawns can't be kept green with rainfall alone, and because water and sunlight make the plant grow, lawns require intensive intervention, sucking up a total of about 9 billion gallons of water per day in aggregate and costing the average homeowners about 70 hours of labor per year. Lawns tend to be punishing for the environment as well. In addition to the ecological effects of runoff, which can overwhelm water bodies with excess levels of nitrogen and phosphorous, there's the act of lawn-mowing itself. According to National Geographic, one hour running a gas mower can pollute as much as driving a car for four hours.

Lawns are particularly troublesome in arid cities such as Phoenix and Las Vegas, where it's a challenge to find enough water for people to drink, much less keep a bunch of ornamental grass verdant. The water crunch in a place like Dallas is less acute, but the principles at play are the same. There isn't nearly enough available water to sustain the population long-term without intensive conservation efforts or massive infrastructure investment. North Texans remain attached to their lawns, though recent price hikes for water may spur many to reassess the value of a green yard.

There really aren't that many good reasons for lawns. Responding to a Wonkblog piece describing lawns (accurately) as a "soul-crushing time suck," Turf magazine editor Ron Hall critiques the author for failing to mention "the economic value that nicely maintained lawns add to properties. It doesn’t hint at the good will and sense of civility lawns engender in our neighborhoods. But, the biggest omission in the piece is piece is its failure to mention the well-documented environmental pluses lawns contribute to our communities — capturing dust, their cooling effect, reducing runoff, etc."

But nicely maintained lawns only boost property values and engender civility because that's what decades of increasing suburbanization has led people to expect, not because of some virtue inherent to a well-tended piece of grass. On the latter point, whatever environmental pluses are associated with the typical American lawn would be matched by yards of native plants and grasses without most of the damaging effects.

Lawns aren't going to disappear anytime soon. They are effectively part of North Texas' infrastructure, there for however long the house it surrounds stands. But at the very least people can water a little less, rely on native plants a little bit more. If one simply must have the perfect golf-course lawn, at least let some kids play on it. Finally, if you see a lawn that's a bit overgrown or rough around the edges, don't call code enforcement; congratulate the neighbor on taking a principled stand with their forward-thinking mowing and irrigation policies.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: lawn; lazy; texas
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He's got a point
1 posted on 09/30/2015 8:49:25 AM PDT by Arec Barrwin
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To: Arec Barrwin

Doing my part through neglect, laziness, and attrition!


2 posted on 09/30/2015 8:50:53 AM PDT by bigbob
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To: Arec Barrwin

I am way ahead of the crowd on this one.


3 posted on 09/30/2015 8:50:55 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (I've switched. Trump is my #1. He understands how to get things done. Cruz can be VP.)
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To: Arec Barrwin

Will read this later but there’s a break in the clouds and the sun is shining and all my neighbors have just started their mowers. Will read this after I’ve taken care of my portion of the American Dream.

R2z


4 posted on 09/30/2015 8:51:48 AM PDT by Resettozero
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To: Arec Barrwin

I don’t let people outside of my family venture onto my property and engage in activity that can cause injury.


5 posted on 09/30/2015 8:52:00 AM PDT by Bogey78O (We had a good run. Coulda been great still.)
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To: Arec Barrwin
Liberal utopian apartments. This is what they think people should live in. It is what all communists force people to live in.


6 posted on 09/30/2015 8:53:52 AM PDT by CodeToad (If it weren't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable!)
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To: Arec Barrwin

He’s too lazy to mow his grass so he has deemed lawns outdated. Yeah, I guess paint on the house, and picking up trash in your yard is overrated too.


7 posted on 09/30/2015 8:54:25 AM PDT by gubamyster
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To: CodeToad

Every Summer I just pray that my lawn will burn up and die! I hate yard work (so, of course, I bought 3/4 of an acre...momentary insanity).


8 posted on 09/30/2015 8:54:53 AM PDT by freepertoo
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To: Arec Barrwin
I always thought the solution to the inconvenience and expense of lawn maintenance could be eliminated by having a zen rock garden instead of a grass lawn.


9 posted on 09/30/2015 8:55:19 AM PDT by Maceman
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To: ClearCase_guy
> "Sometimes I borrow a gas mower from my fall-prone, 70-something-year-old neighbor, but between work and kids, this can be infrequent. The other day, I peeked outside the window and found that 70-something neighbor had taken it upon himself to mow our front yard. It's not something I'm proud of, but my wife and I figured it'd be best to retreat quietly from the windows. We wouldn't want to startle him and make him fall."

Now that's funny stuff there...lol

10 posted on 09/30/2015 8:55:35 AM PDT by jsanders2001
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To: bigbob

I went to a party last week and the homeowner had all artificial grass in the backyard. I sort of liked it. And the family’s children seemed to like it too.


11 posted on 09/30/2015 8:55:37 AM PDT by Arec Barrwin
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To: Bogey78O

I don’t let people outside of my family venture onto my property.

There that’s better.


12 posted on 09/30/2015 8:55:43 AM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: Arec Barrwin

my 30 acres is a hay field - nice and even in height, blows in the wind - I love it - but I do mow a couple of times a year around the house as the tall grass hides varmints and I don’t want those up close to the house.


13 posted on 09/30/2015 8:56:04 AM PDT by rigelkentaurus
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To: Arec Barrwin

If you don’t mow your lawn i.e. the grass in many parts of the country, when you step out to play with the kids you might find you and your family stepping on some unwanted yard guests. You know, snakes, scorpions, certain smelly mammals all of whom like deep grass for cover.


14 posted on 09/30/2015 8:56:16 AM PDT by driftless2 (For long term happiness, learn how to play the accordion)
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To: Arec Barrwin

Yeah — leftists always have a point. And their point is to tell you how to live.


15 posted on 09/30/2015 8:56:33 AM PDT by Cincinatus (Omnia relinquit servare Rempublicam)
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To: Arec Barrwin

If by “American lawns” he means “American leftists,” I will agree.


16 posted on 09/30/2015 8:57:06 AM PDT by Carl Vehse
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To: Arec Barrwin

He might be right, in Dallas. Where I live, we get twice the rainfall as Dallas during the summer months.


17 posted on 09/30/2015 8:57:07 AM PDT by jdege
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To: Arec Barrwin

Grass isn’t the only possible landscaping. It’s easier to tend though, and nobody says it really needs anything beyond a lawn mower if one is willing to tolerate some weeds.


18 posted on 09/30/2015 8:57:19 AM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Embrace the Lion of Judah and He will roar for you and teach you to roar too. See my page.)
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To: Arec Barrwin

19 posted on 09/30/2015 8:57:25 AM PDT by FreeReign
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To: Arec Barrwin
Lawns and outdoor barbecuing are in the enviromaniacs sights, rest assured.

Oops, you can add gasoline-guzzling, racist suburbanites to that list, also.

Leni

20 posted on 09/30/2015 8:57:29 AM PDT by MinuteGal
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