Posted on 06/03/2010 9:10:40 PM PDT by bkopto
Apparently, the box is locked: Al and Tipper Gore are getting a divorce.
The official word from the Gore camp is that the divorce was a mutual decision and that there was no hanky panky, no shenanigans, no side action, nothing on the schnide, no skullduggery, no nuttin’ — just a good ol’ American divorce.
While the spin doctors and nurses are acting like nothing went on, an air conditioner repairman who worked exclusively for the Gores said Mr. Global Warming has been inhaling too many carbon credits.
“First off, Gore isn’t fat — he keeps all the dough from his speaking engagements on his person,” said the air conditioner repairman who asked to be referred to as Mr. Tibbs. “Secondly, Al’s years with Bill Clinton were not wasted, as Bubba taught RoboBubba a thing or two about picking up women.”
According to Tibbs, while on a diplomatic trip to the Orient, Clinton introduced Gore to a shaman who schooled him in the ancient ways of achieving inner peace, understanding and how to pitch a woo that was slicker than boiled okra.
“When Clinton and Gore stopped at the Kinston airport in 1992, they were served barbecue from a local restaurant,” Tibbs said. “Gore took a shine to the woman who delivered the food; before the campaign stop was over, the delivery girl and Gore retired to the back of the campaign bus and they could be heard singing a filthy version of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Don’t Stop’ until the wee hours of the morning.”
That delivery girl now works as an attrition specialist for The Free Press of Kinston. Her name is Paulette Burroughs.
“I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar,” Burroughs said. “I was also working part time at Pete Smith’s Laundromat and BBQ, and the Clinton/Gore campaign ordered some food and I got to deliver it.”
Burroughs said her bosses — Sherry and Allison (now cable television experts) — warned her to be careful around Clinton, as it was widely known that he’d hit on more women than Rosie O’Donnell at Lilith Fair.
“I always kept a few hush puppies in my pockets for emergencies,” Burroughs said. “As I was taking the food up to their bus, some barbecue and slaw spilled out of the bag and got all over my clothes.
“As I turned to leave, I could hear Gore ask an aide to ‘Find the women in possession of that intoxicating odor.’ The aide pulled me aside and gave me a key to Gore’s room. Before I knew what was going on, Gore and I were in a deep embrace and he yelled out ‘MORE COLESLAW! COOK THE HUSHPUPPY! COOK THE HUSHPUPPY!’ ”
Tibbs said, “Tipper started getting suspicious when she kept finding empty bottles of Texas Pete under the seat of Gore’s SUV. Most of the time, Al was a normal guy, but when the lethal combination of fire-grilled pork and a sporty woman entered the mix — Katie, bar the door!”
Burroughs would not go into further detail, only to say that she and Gore did carry on a relationship for the next 15 years, and that she will reveal the full story in her new book “More Sauce Please: The Gore-y Details”
Eastern style BBQ’s sordid past!
““When Clinton and Gore stopped at the Kinston airport in 1992, they were served barbecue from a local restaurant,” “
Probably Kings?
Isn’t King’s where a NC Freeper got a dig in on Obama during the election?
The Gore marriage started to collapse about 10 years ago during the height of the Florida fiasco. During the recount, conservatives in the DC area shouted using bullhorns some very derogatory comments about the Gores. I understand that some Freepers were involved in this action. The ugly words were “Get out of Dick Cheney’s house!” These chants were repeated many nights until Gore conceded. Al Gore has never been the same since this tramautic experience.
Poor girl!
She lost her trailer in a Tennessee mudslide,
and now she’s out trolling with her crotch. Too bad that manbearpig is the victim!
They renamed it “Bill’s honky tonk pickin, line dance kickin, razor back stickin, barbecue chicken, laundromat bar and grill” (heh)
So now we know that Al Gore’s “package” was just a hush puppy.
That right there told me it was satire....
5.56mm
That much is true.
That much is true.
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place, either with or without you.
The five years we have had has been such good times, I still love you.
But now I think its time to live a life on my own, I guess its just what I must do.
ping
The dead giveaway was “her former bosses, now CABLE TELEVISION EXPERTS.....
But with all the BS going around this is probably one of the truer stories coming out of politics....
Funniest satirical story I’ve read all week.
Burroughs said her bosses — Sherry and Allison (now cable television experts) — warned her to be careful around Clinton, as it was widely known that he’d hit on more women than Rosie O’Donnell at Lilith Fair.
*shudders* LOL
lol. i mean environmentally correct.
Doesn’t matter, it’s the seriousness of the allegation is all that counts ... don’tcha know ?? :)
Or....no controlling legal authority.
Great satire. LOL!1
Gore is such a fool.
She is hot! NOT!
But Algore might go for it.
I doubt it’s a woman too. He and lil ole Lindsey need to come clean
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