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Column: NC woman linked to Gore divorce
ENC Today ^ | 2010-06-03 07:04:49 | Jon Dawson

Posted on 06/03/2010 9:10:40 PM PDT by bkopto

Apparently, the box is locked: Al and Tipper Gore are getting a divorce.

The official word from the Gore camp is that the divorce was a mutual decision and that there was no hanky panky, no shenanigans, no side action, nothing on the schnide, no skullduggery, no nuttin’ — just a good ol’ American divorce.

While the spin doctors and nurses are acting like nothing went on, an air conditioner repairman who worked exclusively for the Gores said Mr. Global Warming has been inhaling too many carbon credits.

“First off, Gore isn’t fat — he keeps all the dough from his speaking engagements on his person,” said the air conditioner repairman who asked to be referred to as Mr. Tibbs. “Secondly, Al’s years with Bill Clinton were not wasted, as Bubba taught RoboBubba a thing or two about picking up women.”

According to Tibbs, while on a diplomatic trip to the Orient, Clinton introduced Gore to a shaman who schooled him in the ancient ways of achieving inner peace, understanding and how to pitch a woo that was slicker than boiled okra.

“When Clinton and Gore stopped at the Kinston airport in 1992, they were served barbecue from a local restaurant,” Tibbs said. “Gore took a shine to the woman who delivered the food; before the campaign stop was over, the delivery girl and Gore retired to the back of the campaign bus and they could be heard singing a filthy version of Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Don’t Stop’ until the wee hours of the morning.”

That delivery girl now works as an attrition specialist for The Free Press of Kinston. Her name is Paulette Burroughs.

“I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar,” Burroughs said. “I was also working part time at Pete Smith’s Laundromat and BBQ, and the Clinton/Gore campaign ordered some food and I got to deliver it.”

Burroughs said her bosses — Sherry and Allison (now cable television experts) — warned her to be careful around Clinton, as it was widely known that he’d hit on more women than Rosie O’Donnell at Lilith Fair.

“I always kept a few hush puppies in my pockets for emergencies,” Burroughs said. “As I was taking the food up to their bus, some barbecue and slaw spilled out of the bag and got all over my clothes.

“As I turned to leave, I could hear Gore ask an aide to ‘Find the women in possession of that intoxicating odor.’ The aide pulled me aside and gave me a key to Gore’s room. Before I knew what was going on, Gore and I were in a deep embrace and he yelled out ‘MORE COLESLAW! COOK THE HUSHPUPPY! COOK THE HUSHPUPPY!’ ”

Tibbs said, “Tipper started getting suspicious when she kept finding empty bottles of Texas Pete under the seat of Gore’s SUV. Most of the time, Al was a normal guy, but when the lethal combination of fire-grilled pork and a sporty woman entered the mix — Katie, bar the door!”

Burroughs would not go into further detail, only to say that she and Gore did carry on a relationship for the next 15 years, and that she will reveal the full story in her new book “More Sauce Please: The Gore-y Details”


TOPICS: Extended News; Front Page News; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: bloggers; cheater; democrat; fake; gore; lame; notnews; sarcasm; satire
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Well, well, well. I wonder if this story is accurate.
1 posted on 06/03/2010 9:10:40 PM PDT by bkopto
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To: bkopto

2 posted on 06/03/2010 9:14:13 PM PDT by wastedyears (The Founders revolted for less.)
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To: bkopto

Satire.


3 posted on 06/03/2010 9:14:55 PM PDT by Jedidah
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To: bkopto

“The Gore-y Details”

LOL


4 posted on 06/03/2010 9:15:10 PM PDT by glasseye
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To: bkopto
What no ‘baby’ pictures?
5 posted on 06/03/2010 9:16:00 PM PDT by Just mythoughts
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To: bkopto

Who can resist hushpuppies and coleslaw?


6 posted on 06/03/2010 9:16:05 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( - Free Men will always be armed with the Truth. -)
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To: bkopto
Well, well, well. I wonder if this story is accurate

Doesn't matter, it's the seriousness of the allegation is all that counts ... don'tcha know ?? :)

7 posted on 06/03/2010 9:16:08 PM PDT by Mr_Moonlight
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To: bkopto

If there’s someone else, I doubt it’s a woman.


8 posted on 06/03/2010 9:16:56 PM PDT by Krankor
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To: bkopto

Kinston? Not Asheville? hahahaha :)


9 posted on 06/03/2010 9:17:57 PM PDT by rangerwife (Proud wife of a Purple Heart Recipient)
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To: bkopto

Ah ha!


10 posted on 06/03/2010 9:18:03 PM PDT by BunnySlippers (I LOVE BULL MARKETS . . .)
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To: bkopto

>slicker than boiled okra<

LMBO!


11 posted on 06/03/2010 9:18:18 PM PDT by Califreak (A man is defined by the nature of his enemies-Preach it Rush!)
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To: bkopto

well, well, well. i wonder if she was ‘green?’


12 posted on 06/03/2010 9:18:39 PM PDT by GOP Poet (Obama is an OLYMPIC failure.)
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To: bkopto

It does sound rather satirical. I still say the co-respondent is Mother Earth/s;)


13 posted on 06/03/2010 9:18:50 PM PDT by Frank_2001
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To: Just mythoughts
What no ‘baby’ pictures?

Here you go:


14 posted on 06/03/2010 9:19:59 PM PDT by EternalVigilance (Al Qaeda's Obama Boats: a one-way ticket to martyrdom.)
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To: bkopto
Apparently, the box is locked

Har.

15 posted on 06/03/2010 9:21:30 PM PDT by Senator Pardek
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To: bkopto

Algore's intern, Gaia.

16 posted on 06/03/2010 9:22:35 PM PDT by TChad
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To: bkopto

Found a photo!!

17 posted on 06/03/2010 9:22:39 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (Don't care if he was born in a manger on July 4th! A "Natural Born" citizen requires two US parents!)
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To: GOP Poet
well, well, well. i wonder if she was ‘green?’

"If the b--ch is green, there must be something wrong with the p---y." - Eddie Murphy

18 posted on 06/03/2010 9:25:04 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: bkopto

Hogwash! Everybody knows it was George W. Bush’s fault!


19 posted on 06/03/2010 9:26:35 PM PDT by twhitak
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To: wastedyears

LOL


20 posted on 06/03/2010 9:29:41 PM PDT by Irisshlass
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To: Constitution Day; stainlessbanner

Eastern style BBQ’s sordid past!

““When Clinton and Gore stopped at the Kinston airport in 1992, they were served barbecue from a local restaurant,” “

Probably Kings?


21 posted on 06/03/2010 9:30:26 PM PDT by Rebelbase (It’s hard to remember which week we’re racists and which week we’re terrorists, JgBoy)
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To: Constitution Day

Isn’t King’s where a NC Freeper got a dig in on Obama during the election?


22 posted on 06/03/2010 9:31:43 PM PDT by Rebelbase (It’s hard to remember which week we’re racists and which week we’re terrorists, JgBoy)
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To: bkopto

The Gore marriage started to collapse about 10 years ago during the height of the Florida fiasco. During the recount, conservatives in the DC area shouted using bullhorns some very derogatory comments about the Gores. I understand that some Freepers were involved in this action. The ugly words were “Get out of Dick Cheney’s house!” These chants were repeated many nights until Gore conceded. Al Gore has never been the same since this tramautic experience.


23 posted on 06/03/2010 9:32:08 PM PDT by businessprofessor
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To: bkopto

Poor girl!

She lost her trailer in a Tennessee mudslide,

and now she’s out trolling with her crotch. Too bad that manbearpig is the victim!


24 posted on 06/03/2010 9:35:48 PM PDT by Noob1999 (LOOSE LIPS, SINK SHIPS)
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To: Rebelbase; Constitution Day

They renamed it “Bill’s honky tonk pickin, line dance kickin, razor back stickin, barbecue chicken, laundromat bar and grill” (heh)


25 posted on 06/03/2010 9:40:19 PM PDT by stainlessbanner
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To: bkopto

So now we know that Al Gore’s “package” was just a hush puppy.


26 posted on 06/03/2010 9:41:21 PM PDT by DeFault User
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To: bkopto
I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar

That right there told me it was satire....

27 posted on 06/03/2010 9:41:35 PM PDT by Mama Shawna
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To: bkopto
According to liberals/socialists/democRAT media, it was Bush's fault. Or was it Rush Limbaugh's fault? Or was it the cheap slut on K street...

5.56mm

28 posted on 06/03/2010 9:42:59 PM PDT by M Kehoe
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To: bkopto
“I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar,”

That much is true.

29 posted on 06/03/2010 9:44:22 PM PDT by A_perfect_lady (If one racist Tea-Partier proves all conservatives hate, what do 500 Muslim suicide bombers prove?)
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To: Mama Shawna
I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar

That much is true.

But even then I knew I'd find a much better place, either with or without you.

The five years we have had has been such good times, I still love you.

But now I think its time to live a life on my own, I guess its just what I must do.

30 posted on 06/03/2010 9:44:59 PM PDT by rintense (God bless Israel!)
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To: writer33

ping


31 posted on 06/03/2010 9:45:11 PM PDT by bitt ("WE THE PEOPLE" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVAhr4hZDJE)
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To: stainlessbanner

The dead giveaway was “her former bosses, now CABLE TELEVISION EXPERTS.....

But with all the BS going around this is probably one of the truer stories coming out of politics....


32 posted on 06/03/2010 9:45:49 PM PDT by xrmusn ((6/98 ) FIRE ALL INCUMBENTS)
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To: bkopto

Funniest satirical story I’ve read all week.


33 posted on 06/03/2010 9:52:57 PM PDT by This Just In
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To: bkopto

Burroughs said her bosses — Sherry and Allison (now cable television experts) — warned her to be careful around Clinton, as it was widely known that he’d hit on more women than Rosie O’Donnell at Lilith Fair.

*shudders* LOL


34 posted on 06/03/2010 10:08:21 PM PDT by Trillian
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To: dfwgator

lol. i mean environmentally correct.


35 posted on 06/03/2010 10:17:24 PM PDT by GOP Poet (Obama is an OLYMPIC failure.)
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To: bkopto; qam1
Maybe when he came home with lipstick on his collar from Dee Snider, it was just too much for Tipper.


36 posted on 06/03/2010 10:39:11 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (Throw the bums out in 2010.)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

Doesn’t matter, it’s the seriousness of the allegation is all that counts ... don’tcha know ?? :)


Or....no controlling legal authority.


37 posted on 06/03/2010 10:39:37 PM PDT by unkus
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To: bkopto

Great satire. LOL!1

Gore is such a fool.


38 posted on 06/03/2010 10:40:12 PM PDT by upchuck (The last 4 letters in American: I Can; last 4 in in Republican: I Can; last 4 in in Democrats: RATS)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet

She is hot! NOT!

But Algore might go for it.


39 posted on 06/03/2010 10:40:53 PM PDT by unkus
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To: Krankor

I doubt it’s a woman too. He and lil ole Lindsey need to come clean


40 posted on 06/03/2010 10:41:52 PM PDT by mojitojoe (banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies. Thomas Jefferson)
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To: bkopto
Always figured Al was on the down low..
Something about his gay sounding accent..
41 posted on 06/03/2010 10:50:01 PM PDT by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole....)
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To: bkopto

I guess the folks who used to work for the Onion are still around.


42 posted on 06/03/2010 10:59:55 PM PDT by Rocky (REPEAL IT!)
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To: glasseye

It has to be Phil Maher.


43 posted on 06/03/2010 11:03:08 PM PDT by Always Independent
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To: bkopto
“I was working as a waitress at a cocktail bar,” Burroughs said.

Don't don't you want me you know ah can't believe when you say that you don't need me...
44 posted on 06/03/2010 11:59:14 PM PDT by dr_who
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To: bkopto

I don’t know, but does the validity increase in conjunction with the intensity I feel to toss my cookies? If so, the report must be quite accurate.

What an image, that beluga whale and any half-way decent female. Gag me with a pitchfork... or even one more line on this topic.


45 posted on 06/04/2010 12:35:31 AM PDT by DoughtyOne (J. D. Hayworth, the next Senator, the Great State of Arizona - Sen. Poopdeck, Panama is calling...)
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To: bkopto

It can’t be if the LSM isn’t saying anything.

Then again, I don’t watch or read the LSM, so what do I know?


46 posted on 06/04/2010 1:30:38 AM PDT by Just Lori (To take our country back, we need to take our party back. NO MORE RINOS!!)
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To: businessprofessor
Al Gore has never been the same since this tramautic experience.

Aw, poor baby. Algore is the one who initiated the Florida mess.

47 posted on 06/04/2010 1:33:53 AM PDT by Just Lori (To take our country back, we need to take our party back. NO MORE RINOS!!)
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To: Mr_Moonlight

Not only that, it COULD be true, even if it’s not. That’s what we should all take away from the story.


48 posted on 06/04/2010 1:37:43 AM PDT by chilltherats (First, kill all the lawyers (now that they ARE the tyrants).......)
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To: bkopto

Fake funny and accurate as heck! Ben and Jerry’s name an ice cream for him, “Tennessee Tuxedo Fudgesicle”


49 posted on 06/04/2010 1:52:36 AM PDT by dennisw (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid - Gen Eisenhower)
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To: smokingfrog

Or if you’re in Atlanta.....A SlawDog and an F.O. at the Varsity.....


50 posted on 06/04/2010 3:13:58 AM PDT by CanaGuy (Go Harper!)
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