Iowahawk: Dow Soars on NYU White House Takeover

Iowahawk | 2/24/2009 | David Burge

[dighton]

NEW YORK - Major stock indexes posted broad gains on heavy trading early Tuesday on news that a rogue group of student protesters from New York University had taken over the White House and barricaded themselves in the Oval Office. The Dow posted a 1100 point (17%) gain in the first hour of trading, wiping out nearly all of its loss since January 20 and almost 35% of losses since November 4.

“Finally, we’re seeing encouraging signs of sanity in Washington,” said UBS market analyst Jane Cohen.

The market rally lifted issues across the board, with 87% of stocks showing gains. Market leaders included Apple ($116.05, +32%), Amalgamated Pachouli & Incense ($23.15, +53%), Keffiya Mart ($17.66, +49%), and Bongs.com ($41.10, +72%). The short list of losers included student loan guarantor Sallie Mae ($1.78, -78%) and General Deodorant ($0.83, -96%).

... continued ...

[GeronL]

lol

[Lucky9teen]

[EveningStar]

dighton has the Iowahawk ping list. :)

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[Chances Are]

Ahhh, we all love IowaHawk!!!!

CA....

[Zuben Elgenubi]

Very funny. I love your writing, Iowahawk.

[dighton]

Acting US President Skyler Lozano: bringing new hope to Wall Street

[Navy Patriot]

And my fears of a depression are up in smoke.

[Billthedrill]

Ja love, baby. I gotta go buy some stocks. BTT

[Slings and Arrows]

Last Moments of the Kimmel Occupation (Funny stuff)

[Red_Devil 232]

Skyler is setting up a consensus group and is looking for a facilitator that can guide them into "Breakout Groups" so that the "Breakout Consensus Groups" can report back to him after the disco ball falls.

[<1/1,000,000th%]

A couple rounds of beer pong in the White House would probably be an improvement.

[martin_fierro]

Hey, waitaminnit ... this is ... Satire!

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

Hey, waitaminnit ... this is ... Satire!

DAMN!

[grobdriver]

Yeah - disappointing, isn't it...

[PSYCHO-FREEP]

When will the tanks show up to squash this display of “free thinking”?

[RichInOC]

Burge 2012: When The Going Gets Weird, The Weird Pull Papers.

[Cicero]

Excellent.

My son sent me a link to Gawker that has a video taken at the sit in by one of the protest leaders who was hoping to document some police violence. Very amusing, although you may want to skip a bit.

http://gawker.com/5159003/the-painfully-ridiculous-end-to-the-nyu-revolution

[La Lydia]

The ensuing chaos, with hundreds of thousands of government employees walking off the job, brough gridlock to Washington freeways....

And just how would that be different from what happens every day here about 4 p.m.?

[aculeus]

Bump with thanks!