Posted on 05/20/2004 11:35:44 AM PDT by Sonar5
John F'ing Kerry today blamed George W. Bush for the recent Cicada invasion.
Kerry Stated: "He knew they were coming and he did nothing. If I were Commander in Chief, I could have and would have stopped the invasion. I actually voted for the invasion before I voted against it." The last FOUR times the Cicadas appeared, there was a republican in The White House. The last time the Cicadas appeared when a democrat was in the White House was in 1936. Proof that it is the Republicans that caused the Cicadas, and they bring them out when convenient to distract from the election. No Cicadas with Clinton, No Cicadas with Carter, No Cicadas with Johnson, No Cicadas with Kennedy.
McCain stated: I respect Kerry's service in Vietnam, even though he committed war crimes, but President Bush should have stopped this invasion. Please tell John I said Hello, and I am not mentally unstable.
The Red Cross stated: We reported that the Bush Administration had been holding the Cicadas underground with no light, no food, and we're reporting this to the UN.
Kofi Annan stated: My son was not aware of the Oil for Cicadas program and did not profit from it.
Syria introduced a UN Resolution condemning the Bush administration on the inhumane treatment of the Cicadas over the last 17 years. It is irrelevant that The Clintons oversaw 8 years of Cicada rights violations, and Bush only 3.5 years. It only matters that Bush was at the helm when these cicada's escaped their inhumane treatment.
The Sierra club and PETA, in a Joint statement have hired the ACLU to sue the administration which is personally causing the death of millions of cicada's every day by motorists who instead of waiting until they take a month to cross the road, simply mow them down without stopping to render aid.
The State of Massachusetts says it doesn't care about what the laws are. If two Male cross the border from another state into Taxachussetts, they will marry the Cicadas.
This Just In: The ACLU has filed an emrgency motion with the US Supreme Court to stop the slaughter of all cicadas which they say have been sentenced to execution by the Bush Administration. They said: " We can prove this, where if you will wait a little over a month, you will see, that the cicadas will almost all be dead, thus proving the executions have been carried out by Bush.
The NY Times in its 8,763 Page editorial stated: (Summarized, and subscription required to read it anyway), "This is just another example of the Republicans headed by Bush being responsible for all that is wrong with the world. It's Obvious. There were no Cicadas under Clinton, so this ones on Bush" In a related story, the whereabouts of George Bush in prior cicada invasions has not been confirmed and every other cicada invasion after Bush's Birth can be attributed to him unless proive otherwise which will appear on page 57, with all our other retractions.
Hillary stated: "This Cicada invasion escape is another example of the Vast Right wing conspiracy against the Clinton family." In a related story Hillary then promised new jobs to Upstate New York.....Again.....
Howard Dean Stated: "AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!! The Cicadas are in New York, Ohio, Michigan, Vermont, New Jersey, Delaware, Massachussetts, Indiana, Illinois, and many others. AAAARRRGGGHHHHHH......
MoveOn.org stated what they always state:"Please send your donations so that we can fight the Bush Cicadas. Your contribution will ensure the cicadas wil lose, but only if you contribute now. CLICK HERE to STOP Bush's Cicadas.
Terry McCauliffe stated: We're not sure where Bush was in the Prior cicada invasions. We demand Bush release all of the cicada records to show his whereabouts during all the cicada invasions.
Michael Moore stated: Stay tuned for another LIE...errr documentary titled 17 Years of Bush Lies, deceit, and human rights violations of Cicadas. The Movie will be released just prior to Oscars so my friends...errr.... the Panels can vote on it so I can steal...errr..win another Oscar.
Amnesty International stated: This is all the fault of Israel and Bush. We demand the release of all cicadas, and the return of palestinian lands to the peaceful freedom fighters of Palestine. We also condemn Israel because that is what we do.
AlJazeera stated: "We show these pictures of an Iraqi childs death because they are the fault of Bush's Cicadas. This child was alive until Bush released the cicadas. He was at a weding and it is quite common to have all children bring their RPG's to weddings.
In a press Conference the Bush Administration Announced: "Yes we did it, don't you liberals know we control everything in the world." See you in November.
Regards, Joe
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
You made my day!!! Thank You!!! This is going to be my theme over the next few weeks. What did Bush know and When did he know it?
Actually, the Cicadas will be collected and shipped off to feed the starving in underdeveloped third world countries.
Yet another cause we have taken away from the DemonRats.
ROFL!
I love it!
Great - thanks for the laugh!!
Very funny, thanks!
And in return, the starving underdeveloped countries are going to send Kerry's daughter some decent clothes.
Thank God now I know who to blame for the one billion cicadas all over my yard and trees!!! LOLOLOL
After reading about these critters for more than a week, I finally saw one of them for the first time on a sidewalk near my house.
Baghdad Bob claims the Sarin bomb found in Iraq was just to be used as an insecticide.
AP Headline: "Cicada Invasion Unjustified: Bush Pre-planned War on Vegetation!"
Al-Jazeera: "Bush's Rogue Cicada Army Molests Innocent Muslims in New York: Abuse Caught on Tape!"
911 commision: "Clark accuses Rice of never having heard of Cicada's until he mentioned them!"
The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and Cicadas.
Both controlled by George W. as he sips suds.
But, George doesn’t drink.
And Democrats can’t think.
They think we don’t see them as complete frauds.
Absolutely great.
We lived in the DC area when one of these invasions happened 2 cycles ago.
We had a year old German Short Haired pointer. She was a great protector of the family, with a huge appetite and not much will power nor brains when it came to eating.
She gorged herself on these critters. I had locked her up in the shed where I keep our lawn mower to keep her from ODing on the Cicadas. She got mad and chewed up everything that wasn't metal that was in the shed. She ruined a lawnmower, handles on rakes, shovels and saws.
After that, I just left her out after that to gorge every night. She looked like a blimp when the Cicadas stopped coming out.
I hope I'm not pinging too often but this is funny ping...
More Pax pings!
You have a great sense for these things!!!
Bugs 4 Bush.
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