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Chinese State Media Proclaims Gavin Newsom Winner Of Debate
The Babylon Bee ^ | Dec 1, 2023

Posted on 12/01/2023 2:55:29 PM PST by McGruff

BEIJING — Following last night's heavily publicized debate between California Governor Gavin Newsom and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, the Chinese state media proclaimed Newsom the clear and unquestioned winner.

"There is no other conclusion which anyone may draw," said Xing Zhou, spokesman for the People's Republic of China. "Our dear friend and close colleague, Mr. Newsom, soundly defeated the brash American DeSantis. Everyone saw this. Do not question it."

Despite many people throughout the media and across the country expressing the view that DeSantis soundly trounced Newsom at every turn during the debate, multiple representatives of the Chinese government were adamant that the opposite was true. "We defy anyone to come forward with evidence that DeSantis was victorious," Zhou said. "Only a man on the losing end of a debate would be presenting photographs of human feces that was found on the streets of a city under Gavin Newsom's leadership. Streets in China are also covered in excrement, but this is no reflection on the outstanding leadership of our glorious President Xi."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; isthisthebee; satire

1 posted on 12/01/2023 2:55:29 PM PST by McGruff
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To: McGruff

Xi thinks he owns the USA now.

I am not certain that he is wrong.


2 posted on 12/01/2023 2:56:48 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum (The worst thing about censorship is █████ ██ ████ ████████ █ ███████ ████. FJB.)
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To: McGruff

The debate was sponsored by U-Haul.


3 posted on 12/01/2023 3:16:00 PM PST by BipolarBob (Yes officer, I saw the speed limit sign. I just didn't see you.)
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To: McGruff

Well we certainly know who’s Newsome’s pet...


4 posted on 12/01/2023 3:18:20 PM PST by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: BipolarBob

Good one


5 posted on 12/01/2023 3:19:52 PM PST by Fledermaus (It's time to get rid of the Three McStooges; Mitch, Kevin and Ronna! 1 gone, 1 almost dead. )
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To: McGruff
At last, an objective assessment from a country that has only our best interests at heart.

That ought to get me enough social credit points for a coupon in the naughty section of alibaba...

6 posted on 12/01/2023 3:22:36 PM PST by Billthedrill
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To: McGruff

I believed it into the first two sentences!


7 posted on 12/01/2023 3:26:05 PM PST by marktwain
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To: McGruff

Most MAGA feel the same.. anything against DeSantis.

Who’s next after Trump? And yes I’m voting Trump again..3rd time.


8 posted on 12/01/2023 3:31:30 PM PST by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: McGruff

The leftards are flooding X with posts about Breck Boy dominating RDS. These people are insane.


9 posted on 12/01/2023 3:37:02 PM PST by Fireone (Who killed Obama's chef?)
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To: maddog55

Byron Donalds?


10 posted on 12/01/2023 3:55:17 PM PST by cowboyusa (YESHUA IS KING OF AMERICA! DEATH TO MARXISM AND LEFTISM! AMERICA, COWBOY UP!)
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To: McGruff

Gavin Newsom + Ron DeSantis = 00

China only selects the worst for the U.S. it’s why he has pal Biden.


11 posted on 12/01/2023 4:00:06 PM PST by Vaduz (....)
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To: McGruff

Ha Ha!


12 posted on 12/01/2023 7:05:24 PM PST by Delta 21 (If anyone is treasonous, it is those who call me such.)
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To: McGruff

Gavin thinks he’s so pretty.


13 posted on 12/02/2023 4:12:33 AM PST by Patriot777 ("When you see these things begin to happen, look up, for your redemption draweth nigh.")
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